How to dazzle everyone with funny Monday stuff Vol.4

Okay, one last time before Christmas it’s time for our funny Monday stuff! So without further adieu, here we go:

Oh yes, I can totally understand that. No one gives you a heart-attack like an unbelievably hot vampire does. Ask Harry Clearwater (RIP). He knows what I’m talking about…

Perfect! Who wants a toddler as a girlfriend anyways? Yeah, I know you don’t see her taht way… Not yet. So while you wait for her to get older and leave the nappies behind you could spend a little time with me. Right?

Uhm yeah Jackson, you look almost as hot and sparkly as Edward. Almost. In your dreams. Sorry to say…

Yep Kristen, he’s right. Don’t make your sourpuss face right now. It’s not your fault. It’s just the fact that no one pulls off the Ray Bans like Rob does. Probably some kind of natural talent he has. Together with looking damn hot while smoking (even for me and I’m a total non-smoker). And looking absolutely adorable with his untidy hair and misbuttoned shirts. And just being smokin’ hot no matter what he does. Just saying. So, no one rocks sunglasses like Rob does. Period.

Oh yes, you so got me there. Werewolves all the way! Damn they’re hot. Team Jacob! Team Paul! Well, not that I wouldn’t take some hot vamps as well though…

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Off to work one last time before Christmas

Saveyoursoul

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Have you already entered our Kwop kilawtley contest? NO? Why not? Did I mention you can win an amazing prize? So hop over and participate NOW! Cause it’s awesome. And funny. Just check it out and you’ll see!

(images: Polyvore)

Kwop kilawtley aka the Chris Weitz Quileute gate

This is what my evening looked like...

Okay, it’s four in the morning, I just got home from a twins birthday party and I gotta admit I’m pretty tipsy. And it’s 20 degrees, minus. Freezing. Snow and ice everywhere. I’ve never in my life been somewhere this cold… Plus tipsy people get cold easier. Just saying. But whatevs, let’s start with the super amazing post I’ve prepared for you!
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Kwop kilawtley. Learn this by heart and do it NOW! Cause this is the very line Jacob says to Bella in New Moon right before they almost kiss. Trust me, it is. Chris Weitz himself said so! Kwop kilawtley. At least one million people twittered it afterwards and most of them claimed to know that it means “stay with me forever”, which is probably false. Cause none of them know the slightest bit Quileute. And by the time I looked it up there were only about 700 entries on google. But probably one million by now. And not one single one telling you what it really means… Doesn’t matter, at least we know the real words right now. And because Chris Weitz is awesomesauce and loves orange pants the fans and would never ever underestimate the power of the Twi-fandom he also gives us the homepage of the Quileute tribal council. I bet they got thousands and thousands of e-mails asking them to translate that damn sentence. Wonder how long it will take them to give in. And whether they’re still friends with Chris by now… Oh hey, just in case you wanna join in the fun and show them some love aka completely unnerve them as well, visit them here I won’t mail them cause I already pity them… kind of.

Is this what Jacob really says?

But because I’m not only the world’s most accomplished make-up artist but such a pro when it comes to the Quileute language as well, I’ll tell you what Jacob really says here! A few words got a double meaning so there are several version of what this sentence is in English.

1. “Dear HTD-Ladies, I wish I could be with you right now. In Georgia…”

2. “I wish we were in Georgia so we could really get it on now.”

3. “Damn, why didn’t I take my shirt of in this scene?”

Okay, so now you know the truth! Not convinced? I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do while we wait for the Quileute council to give in. We’re gonna make a contest (Yay)! Sent us what you think Jacob says here. We’re gonna give an awesome prize away for the funniest possibility you come up with. Take the picture below as your inspiration. This and every other hot Jacob / Taylor Lautner pic of your choice… Enter the contest by leaving a comment or tell us your idea in an e-mail. More detailed information on what the prize will be over the next few days, promise!

Enter our fantabulous Kwop kilawtley contest NOW!

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Off to see if the Quileute council already gave up

Saveyoursoul

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So what are you waiting for? Participate and win our awesome prize. Or a you by any chance a Quileute and can translate this for us? Then go on and leave a comment or send an e-mail as well… please!

(images: google, modified by me)

How to dazzle us with Twilight cakes… Really?

What to do if you don’t know what to write about? Simple! Just type in Twilight and any random other word on google images and you’ll be overflowed with awfullness awesomeness. I tried “Twilight cake” and five days before Christmas I think this is the perfect thing to get us into a festive mood. So here’s what I found:

Let’s start with a few examples of “try to cram everything twi-related ever onto one single cake”

Well, all I can say is that sometimes less is more. I mean honestly? An apple, the tulips, the torn ribbon, the chess pattern, a red pawn AND a white queen? Uhm, that’s quite a lot… Just saying. Although the one on the left is still kinda pretty. Well, kinda… I wonder how that tastes, I’ve never eaten a cake that’s black on the outside. Black simply doesn’t look that delicious to me, sorry! Can’t help it…

Okay, so what’s up with this cake? At first I thought those were Edward and Bella. Being a little fat. But take a closer look! The one sitting wears jorts! And a leather string around his ankle. So this is Jacob? Honestly? Shouldn’t he be shirtless and showing us his abs? And I’m not quite sure, but does he still have the long hair? If you add such details as the leather string, shouldn’t you know that this means he is already a werewolf and therefor has short hair? I hope that the other one is really Edward (Well, book-Edward from the color of his hair) and that I didn’t mistake him as well… Cause who knows? If I thought what turned out to be Jacob was Bella at first I shudder to think of who “Edward” really is…

It’s Stella’s 10th birthday and this girl already has a Twilight cake? I bet her (Twi-)mum ordered it as a present for herself. Or has this former 9-year-old girl really read Twilight? If she has, poor girl! Cause she’ll compare every guy available to Edward. For the rest of her life. And then end up all alone… But back to the cake! I mean it’s still pretty nice, but the picture on top? Dear Stella’s mum, you could have chosen any picture in the whole wide world showing Edward and Bella (or Rob and Kristen, cause she’s 9 so she wouldn’t notice the difference as long as they were both dressed up and not Stoli-pub-Rob and black-mullet-KStew) and you went for this one? Why? Kristen looks beautiful in it, yeah. But Rob? This is super-creepo-I’m-on-crack-Rob! With gay hair. And smokey eyes. And wearing lipstick. Showing us his non existant muscles. Couldn’t you have picked a supersexy pic of him so that I could now be swooning over the whole cake? Well, think about it next time! Or just come over and ask me if you need help. Cause I got about 863 uhm a couple of really hot pics of Robward…

Wow, have a closer look to take in all the details here! There’s a different Twilight quote on each level. The “You’re my life now”, the “Superhero / bad guy” and the “lion / lamb” quote? Plus a real red ribbon and a real chess figure. And Edward holding the apple. Standing on a piece of his meadow he brought with him to decorate the top of the cake himself. Plus red painted feathers stuck into the cake? Uhm, now that’s disgusting. Those weren’t feathers but a special kind of tulip (I can’t really remember the proper name) on the New Moon cover. And you shouldn’t have stuck them into the cake…

Wow,this post is already so long and I got so much more awful awesome pictures… Guess I’ll just make a part 2 soon. But of course we don’t want you to think we’re doing nothing but hating on every Twicake possible. In fact I found a few I really liked! Maybe someone could get me one of these for my next birthday (*hint hint hint*). So to cure your eyes a bit enjoy now some of the amazing Twicakes! Yes, they exist!

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Off to bake my own Christmas Twicake

Saveyoursoul

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PS: Zelda is kind of MIA over the next few days. I hope she didn’t walk out on me after my confessions and comes back on monday as she has said she would. Do you think I should get her this Zelda – The Twilight Princess cake I found while preparing this post?

What do you think about these Twi-cakes? Awesome or awful? Did someone get you one for your birthday? Btw Twinerd award for the first one who comes up with the real name of the New Moon tulip! Leave a comment or e-mail!

(images: google)

Zelda and Soul’s Christmas wish list

Actually this post was supposed to be about what Zelda and I wanted to get the Twilight cast for Christmas. But then I thought hey, we’re already giving them all our free-time, at least half of our thoughts and we run a whole blog dedicated to them (Okay, and everything else Twi-related but whatever…). So shouldn’t they give us a present for Christmas? Cause I think that would be a really nice way to show us their appreciation of all our endless swooning hard work. Honestly, they didn’t do that much since New Moon came out and sometimes it’s pretty hard to find something to write about everyday. So dear cast members in case you stumble about this post, here’s Zelda’s and my Christmas wish list for you:

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Is this Kellans Chippendales revival for Zelda and me??

Kellan: Get out your old Chippendales outfit. You know which one I mean. No? Okay, I’ll just post a picture of it again to stir your memory a bit…
Then round up the other members and make a special supersexy Twilight performance including a lot of glitter all over your body. Oh, and send over two VIP-tickets for Zelda and me, please!

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Kristen: You can choose one of the following two. Or just combine them I guess…
a) Start hanging out with Lindsay Lohan and become the new party girl. You could become fake lesbians just like you and Nikki Reed were once. Okay, you might have to dress up in the evenings and that doesn’t fit in that well with all your black mullet and plaid style. But let’s be honest! Only reason why people wear plaid at all is because of Rob…

Find the 10 differences! Can't? Me neither...

b) In case you can’t leave the beloved plaid behind, start hanging out again with the Rob double that used to be your boyfriend. You know who I mean, Michael Angarano. The one who looked just like Rob. And probably stole his clothes and the Ray Bans to be more convincing. In case you can’t remember properly, here’s a picture!

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Is this Rob's new BFF?

Rob: Okay, now that we got Kristen out of the way, let’s get to you. Become BFFs with Prince Harry and throw an absolutely fantabulous party at Buckingham Palace. Cause to be honest, even though the Queen might be not amused, Prince Harry knows how to party! You could invite your old Brit-pack friends Tom Stu, Sam Bradley, Marcus Foster and Bobby Long as well. And Zelda and me of course. Just send us over the outfits you’d like us to wear that evening and the two superspecial VIP-tickets with access to your room. We’ll take care of the rest, promise!

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Jackson: Okay, this one’s not for me but for Zelda alone. Could you please dress up as Jasper and meet her? And then show her all your awesome moves? Like that Twilight trick with your huge bat -that’s what she said-? But please be careful. I fear she might get a heart-attack…

Uhm, yes we would...

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Taylor: Uhm, could you just send us two first class flight tickets to Georgia? And a week in a nice little villa? Or in a hotel suite? With you, of course? And soon please, if you don’t mind! Cause it won’t be half as much fun after february 11th when you finally turn 18 and we don’t have to be afraid of Chris Hansen anymore. Oh how we’re gonna miss all the awesome legal in Georgia jail jokes…

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Peter: Make another bet like you did with Rob de Franco, with Chris Weitz this time. Bet to get us How To Dazzle Ladies 5000 readers a day within one week. We know you can do stuff like that. But we don’t want poor Chris Weitz aka everybody’s DILF to have to do a bikini dance. So instead if he loses he has to direct Breaking Dawn. And get Zelda the role of Maria for a hot Maria rewards Jasper scene ifyouknowwhatimsaying. I know Maria has already been casted but hey, they recast Victoria as well although Rachelle did an awesome job… And then cast me as the older version of Renesmee in a Jacob and Renesmee spending their honeymoon on Isle Esme lookout. Chris, we know you can do that. We love you for bringing back our faith after Cathy slaughtered Twilight… Oh, I almost forgot about you, Peter! In the improbable case you should lose, you have to adopt us into the Cullen family. Your Carlisle, the head of the family, so we guess you can decide stuff like that. What? Yeah, we know Carlisle’s only a fictional character. Whatever, we don’t care. Just do it! Thanks!

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Off to send our wish list to Santa

Saveyoursoul

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Love our wish list? Think the Twicast members should give us presents? What is on your wish list? Anything Twi-related? If you had the chance, what would you wish from Rob, Taylor and the rest? Besides the obvious like spending the night with them of course Tell us about all your Christmas wishes in the comments or send an e-mail!

(images: google)

How to undazzle Zelda with my confessions…sorry partner!

Will we still be together happy like that after Zelda reads this post?

Ok Zelda, this is really hard for me right now but I got to tell you anyway! It’s one week before Christmas and that always gets me in a special mood. I feel like I just have to tell you now. So let’s get it over with… I may not be the perfect blog-partner you thought. I may not even be the great friend you thought. So here is the true story behind what you believed to be the best story of friendship and journalistic success ever:

I remember very clearly when I read the Twilight series for the first time back in august. In less than six days. Less than 16 days for the first three times. I don’t quite remember how it happened exactly but within a couple of days I was completely addicted. There was nothing I could do about it and I had no one to share it all with. Well, my sister had read the books as well but she wasn’t pulled in nearly as far as I was… But we both had always liked the same books. I knew you were probably the only person who could understand me. Unfortunately you weren’t there. You were working in Australia for months, thousands of miles away. Only contact we had was through e-mails and skype (Thank God for the internet!). And how could I explain the Twilight phenomenon per mail to someone who basically didn’t know anything at all about the books? I have no idea how I managed it but somehow I got you to the point were you said that the books seem to be quite good and that you would give them a try as soon as you would get home. Was it the part where I called Edward the “supersexy rockstar-type with a supercute family” that got you? Maybe.  The part where I swooned over all his hotness? Probably.

Soul and Zelda finally reunited back in september

Then you finally got home. And I got you the book. With a personal dedication from me in it. Written in extra sparkly ink. And you were so happy about it you almost freaked out. Okay, you nearly knocked me over and I may still recover from several cracked ribs from your embrace… Just kidding. Well, I knew I had you then! Like no good friend ever should I was about to make you an addict just like I was. Like selling you crack or something. But I couldn’t regret it. In contrary, I couldn’t wait for you to finish Breaking Dawn so we could talk it all over together. And watch the movie… like 147 times in a row. We laughed at the same passages, made fun of the same things and swooned over Edward together. I sometimes -ok, almost every day- sent you links to posts from another Twilight-blog I had started reading. I discovered that your whole desktop background was covered in pictures of Rob (although you didn’t even know his name back then). We had so much fun together and I thought well, if I’m going to hell I might as well do it thoroughly! (Yeah, I just quoted, something I usually avoid. I got a bit carried away, sorry!) Suddenly talking to you wasn’t enough anymore. I realized even you noticed how deep I was pulled in. I had to share my thoughts with all the people out there who felt just like me. And I knew you were the only one I could tell this. That I considered starting my own Twilight-blog. Cause the only way left to save my soul (Yep, that’s where my fake name comes from. That and a stupid Rob-Twilight song of course…) was to find another outlet, to make fun of it all… You were so ready to join me I was completely dazzled. While I researched all the technical stuff you came up with the name “how to dazzle”. You even wrote our first post! Yes dear readers, you heard me right. I may have been the one who came up with the whole blog-idea but it was Zelda who actually wrote our first post. Although we didn’t publish it as the first one, still you were the one who started writing. And yeah, I laughed my ass of reading it. You always thought that I had started all this but I knew from the beginning I couldn’t do that alone. The moment I read your text about the “cute shirtless Indian” was actually when I thought “Wow, we’re really doing this”.

I thought you should know that I intentionally made you an addict just like me to have someone to share it all with, abused you and forced you into writing a blog with me because I knew I couldn’t pull it off alone. I apologize. I cannot say I regret it though. Because I don’t. But I apologize. Guilty of all charges, I don’t deny it. In case you ditch me now and end our wonderful blog-partnership I can totally understand you. Still I hope you won’t. Cause honestly, I couldn’t have done all this without you. So thank you so much for being my accomplice!

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Off to look for a new blog partner just in case…
No, just kidding! You know I would never do that!

Saveyoursoul

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Have you ever done anything like this? Have you lured your friends into the Twi-world to have someone to share all your addiction fascination with? Do you think Zelda and I have some kind of abusive relationship? Tell us your Twi-story in the comments or send an e-mail!

(images: my dad and me)

How I dreamt about Jasper the other night

So guys, I hope I did alright the few days Soul was away!! Maybe I was so good you didn’t even realize she was gone?! Well, shame on you, then!! Haha^^ No, but I did realize her absence dramatically, especially because something happened to me during these days, and I really needed to talk to her about it: I dreamt about Jasper!! Haha, seriously, I did.

Hale yeah!! Apparently you did....

I have to say, I’m a bit embarrassed to tell the public that  I’ve actually been dreaming (and I mean really dreaming, at night, while I was sleeping, not just in a way of speech!!) about a fictional character from a book intended to be read by “the young adult genre”. Especially because this guy doesn’t even have one of the big parts in the story. Mainly he’s just standing around staring holes in the air^^What kind of makes me think about how I came to dreaming about him in the first place, and my first suggestion was, that I’ve probably been staring just a bit too long at Soul’s fantabulous, especially made for Zelda “Jasper-Twiporn-Pic” (I loved it btw!!), or that I’ve just read too much Wide Awake before I went to bed….

As I said, I feel a bit strange to talk about this dream, but hey, we make fun of other people here like aahm, all the time? Haha well, maybe almost, but anyways, I don’t wanna deny you something to make fun of me that’s just so…. predestined for it!!

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Alright, so here we go: I fell asleep yesterday, and found myself in a holiday house somewhere in a beautiful forest (forest, what else?^^). There were other people as well, some I’ve never seen before, apparently on holiday, too.

ME, doing some tricks for Jasper and making him soooo fall in love with me!!

I was there with some friends, sharing a room with one of them, who could have either been an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time or maybe Bella, I’m not sure, because their personalities and appearances were kind of mixed up^^ But what made me think about Bella was that she had something with Edward, who was there as well.And Jasper was, too, because he was Edward’s best friend. So one day we decided to go out and play some beach volleyball.Well my mind kind of skipped the game then, going fast forward to the part where old friend aka Bella and Edward were already back to the house, having left me and Jasper standing there on our own.And then it got weird: I think I wanted to get Jasper’s attention, because I was starting to climb up the volleyball net then, and balancing back and forth on it in a super-gracious Alice-like manner. Then I did some backflips and impressive jumps up there, of course never falling down and looking awesome all the time, and for sure, Jasper totally fell in love with me after that (yeah who wouldn’t)!!

So the rest of my dream was actually just a blur of Jasper being in love with me, and me being in love with him, and us lying in each others arms on the beach volleyball field. But no, there was no sex involved, haha, because I know that’s what you guys are thinking now, but it was still nice, because it just felt so real, having Jasper there by my side, being able to look straight into his beautiful smile and especially to touch awesome hair and. Even in that moment when my phone rang, waking me up, I was still expecting to see him next to me when I opened my eyes. Well, but I didn’t, and so all that was left for me was to curse Soul, who made my phone ring with her text message!! Haha sorry Soul you know I don’t mean it, but it was kind of sad!!

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Hmm I have to say, when I reread this post, I feel even more ridiculous than I did this morning^^ Seriously, I was dreaming about a guy from a teenager’s book, with whom I just happened to be on a holiday in a forest, and who totally fell in love with me – after I did some cool tricks for him on a volleyball net^^ Sure, haha. Omg, I think I would delete this post right again, if I wouldn’t know that I’m not the only grown up woman out there who ever had this kind of experience – at least Soul had, too. Because she told me lately about having a strange dream about Taylor Lautner once, who was a fire fighter, and she went on a date with him where they had a bbq and Taylor ate 6 steaks. See, it’s alright to have these dreams!!

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Off to talk a bit more to Soul about having embarrassing dreams,

ZeldaTheTwilightPrincess

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Did one of you ever have a strange/funny/hot/whatever dream about a fictional character? Tell us about it!! It will not only make me feel better, I’m sure it will be quite entertaining as well, when we make a post about it^^ So either leave a comment, or email us!! Come on people, help me out

(pictures: google and Soul)

How I almost met Edward in Munich

Twi-blogging deluxe on my journey to Munich

For the last five days I was MIA. Five days of Twi-blogging abstinence. Doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy though. I was on the road making important Soul Twi-investigations. Wanna know what I found out? Wanna know where Edward lives and whether I met him in Munich or not? Wanna know what Rosalie’s and Emmett’s wedding song was? Cause I might have the answers here!

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Rocking my plaid bedshorts in honor to Rob

When I left I had kind of a bad conscience because of leaving Zelda all alone with the blog. But she did a great job while I was away. Well, there was that one time she forgot to mail me the daily blog update… Just kidding girl, you did great!

So as I already wrote a few days ago, I went to Munich to visit some old friends I haven’t seen in a while and I stayed at my guyfriend’s apartment. And I gotta say, he was damn polite. He carried my suitcase. He cooked super delicious dinner (Man, that guy can cook… I took a picture but I wish I could make you smell it, hmmm). He invited me for a so-called cherry glühwein at the Christmas market (Absolutely delicious as well. If you ever get the chance to drink one, do it!). And I got his bed while he slept on the mattress on the floor (Gave me a really bad conscience at first…)
And then it happened. Just thinking of it again gives me goosebumps. You know, he has that fantabulous piano. And I played a bit on it just for fun. And then he comes along and starts playing with me. Maybe I should mention that he’s a total pro. So I stop and sit there silently while listening to him and theeen… he suddenly starts playing Debussy’s Claire de Lune. We all know Claire the Lune’s great. And then he goes on with Yiruma’s River flows in you, the  unofficial lullaby so to say. And he plays it all by heart. And absolutely perfectly. I died. Literally.

Are those Edward's pale hands playing wonderful songs for me?

Well, no, maybe not literally or I couldn’t write this post right now…but you know what I mean. I was sitting there completely paralyzed. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard in my whole live. I may or may not have secretly recorded that on my camera. I considered making a CD as a Christmas gift for Zelda. (Sorry girl, I can’t now cause the surprise effect would be gone. But otherwise I couldn’t have written about it here on the blog…) So when I had recovered a bit I asked him “Where do you know all that from? I mean, you played it all by heart and it sounded absolutely amazing…” and he says “I played it all at my sister’s wedding.” What? Rosalie and Emmett had Claire de Lune and River flows in you as their wedding songs? Oh no, hold on, he isn’t Edward just some old friend of mine, right? RIGHT???

But then again he’s really really pale. And we only went out on cloudy days. Well, there wasn’t a sunny day during my stay. And he’s so polite, a complete gentleman. And he knows how to cook just like Edward in Breaking Dawn. Okay, he ate with me though. But his name sounds pretty similar to “Edward”. Might be the german version, even though I’m not quite sure about that. Hm, guess he’s my almost-Edward…

Oh, wanna know what else happened while I was in Munich? Cause apart from the piano-thing everything else seems to fade in a blur… We visited an international Christmas market. There were Indians from Arizona selling handmade jewelry. Only Navajos and Cheyennes, no Quileutes. And no handcarved little wolves. Otherwise I would have brought one for Zelda, just for fun.

Are those Edward's pale hands making delicious cranberry Christmas cookies?

On the first night it snowed. Everything was white and it got freezing cold. I made a snowball and kissed it softly. Just in case I ever meet the real Edward, you know… And we baked homemade cranberry Christmas cookies. My hands got all shimmering from the butter. Unfortunately it didn’t transfer that well to the picture but if you look hard enough you can see what sparkly vampire skin would look like in the family photo album. And I got amazing Christmas gifts for both my sister and Zelda. Just saying.

Wanna know whether my almost-Edward composed a special lullaby for me? Sorry, I don’t know… yet. But I’ll tell you as soon as I find out, promise!

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Off to recover from my almost-Edward encounter

Saveyoursoul

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Wanna have almost-Edwards number? Or his adress? Sorry, but I’m not gonna share this time… Anything else you wanna say? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: me)

How to dazzle everyone with funny Monday stuff Vol.3

Another week starts and again I can’t wait till it’s finally friday again. Yeah, five days to go, I know… So to cheer us all up a bit it’s time for funny Monday stuff once more.

Definitely one of my favorite parts in Breaking Dawn when Jacob meets Quil and Claire at the beach. Priceless how this little girl makes a fool out of him. So be aware Rob, Claire’s gonna kick your ass… Just saying.

Oh yes, he definitely does. Okay, his hair doesn’t look so great here, but who would look at his hair anyways as long as he’s got abs like that? Damn, I love this pic. Even if Taylor’s younger than my little sister. Makes me feel like a perv… for about two seconds. Then I see all his muscles again and it’s like “Whatever, I don’t care. We could still move to Georgia…”

Really, he did? Hey Jessica, I bet you filmed this. Or at least made photos. So would you mind sending all that stuff over to me? So that I can get a private screening just for myself… Oh, and for Zelda of course. Cause you know, Twi-blog partners are like that, we share the good stuff… most of the time.

Did I just say we share everything? Uhm well, this guy might be an exception. Sorry Zelda. But I think I kind of have a thing for Alex. Too bad he’s married and a dad. Guess I just have to take his alter ego Paul then… Oh and hey, I don’t mind whether you sparkle or not. I would do you hang out with you anyway. Just saying.

Yeah Rob, unbelievable but true. Edward’s still a virgin. Yep, I just said that aloud. And it sounded horrible. Edward and virgin simply shouldn’t be said in the same sentence. Cause honestly, Edward is walking sex. I mean come on, the wind in his hair, the slow motion, the airbrushed on abs… or wait, that was Rob, Edward has real abs. Whatever, just don’t remind me he’s a virgin and I’ll forget about it. And then read fanfic some more (*false, I won’t. I’m not really that into fanfic to be honest… Well, except for the so-called cookie book. I bet you know exactly which one I mean…*).

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Off to see if Jessica has already sent the video over (If she has, I’ll get a whole theater just for Zelda and me, promise!)

Saveyoursoul

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Want me to send the vid over to you so you can enjoy Edward’s performance as well? Wanna recommend your favorite fanfic? Cause we obviously only read one? Wanna share anything else with us? Leave a comment or send an e-mail!

(images: Polyvore once again)

How Soul dazzled me with the “Cookie-Book”

Ever since Soul and me founded our little Twilight-bookclub, she was constantly raving about the “cookie-book”, formally called “Wide Awake”.

The Cookie-Book, aka Wide Awake

In all her pent-up excitement about it, Soul even started a mission on baking even more cookies than Bella did in this story. White Chocolate Chips, Apple-Cinnamon, Strawberry-Marmelade, Peanutbutter, or my favourite, the ones with Smarties…. my mouth still starts watering every time I think about them, and I don’t know if she probably started baking the cookies in order to win someone over with them, maybe thinking about an imaginary Edward, but either way, she definitely succeeded in winning me over for her cookies!!

And, she didn’t just win me over for her cookies, I was also getting more and more interested in the cookie-book.

Wide Awake - Or rather not...?

In the beginning I was a bit sceptical about it, because even though it’s going along the plotlines of Twilight, the cookie-story is still altered quite a bit, and so are the characters. And I was a bit scared to destroy the feelings I had about Twilight by reading a story with similar, but at the same time completely different people, for in case I didn’t like it, what if I could never really get back to Twilight again (omg, I’m actually talking about complicated feelings I have for a book!!^^)? And anyway, all the stuff I heard about fanfic being porn just in a “better way”, I have to admit, it kind of embarrassed me. So all in all, you understand the inner struggle I felt^^ And so all these feelings competed with each others, the curiosity on the one hand and the fear on the other. Until the curiosity finally won over, and I asked Soul for a copy of the “document” (because, of course, she’s keeping it in her “important work documents” folder on her laptop, all the time)!! I think she was just as excited as I was regarding that I was finally going to read it, because then she would finally have someone to talk about it.

Badass cookie-Edward, even sexier than cheesy vampire-Edward!

So, I started reading the book like 5 days ago, and I already reached chapter 20 of 52. And my conclusion is: I love it!! I love the characters, the new story, especially the new dirty badass Cookie-Edward and the fact that Cookie-Jasper is coming up so much more often!! I have to say, the story is sometimes quite dark and creepy, but all in all, just as engaging as Twilight is. The only thing that was kind of weird while reading were the very detailed descriptions of the Cookie-Edward-and-Bella-aahem-“interactions”^^ I have to say, they were not the hardcore porn parts I was expecting, at least not until now, because all that really happened so far were two kisses, but well, it already was very detailed^^ And I’m pretty sure there’s some more to come. And even though the scenes were still not too bad considering what I was expecting, I already felt kind of like reading a porn (which is kind of meaning something since it is about kisses). I’m already curios where else the story is going to end up, I mean I guess I already know that haha, but I’m actually more curios if it’s going to be awkward or cool^^

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But anyway, I’m already looking forward to reading some more of the cookie-book aka Wide Awake tonight, and I’m glad that Soul brought it to me, as she already did with so much other cool stuff. I should appoint her my personal book-advisor^^ So in honour to Soul: I was thinking about making this a kind of series about me reading the cookie-book, because I know you good enough to be sure that’s what you’ve been dying for ever since you sent it to me!! Haha alright, maybe I’m a bit exaggerating with “dying for”. Kind of makes you sound like a complete addict. But even so – aren’t we all?

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Off to read some more about Cookie-Edward and Cookie-Bella,

ZeldaTheTwilightPrincess

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If you should feel a desire now to get reading Wide Awake straight away, check it out here!! Or have you already read it and want to tell us about the feelings you had while reading? Or maybe you know some other good fanfic you want to share with us, go for it!! Just leave a comment or email us!!

(pictures: google)

How to dazzle everyone with hot Twi-cast porn Vol.1

Yep, you heard me right. I just said porn. But be assured I didn’t mean this in any perv kind of way. Know Rob-porn? It’s something the LTT-Ladies invented. Or at least that’s were I got the term from. And because I loved what they did so much, I decided we just start making our own hot Twi-cast porn here at HTD. Today it’s saturday, so lay back and start your weekend by enjoying the wonderful stuff we created for you!

Uhm, yes! I guess that’s something we all can’t wait to see…

Oh yes, I do. Why wait for february if we can just move to Georgia…

Oh Alex, you know me so well… And you’re totally right. I love when you do this!

Mmmh, I love me some dessert. Usually it’s Panna Cotta or something containing Chocolate, but I wouldn’t say no to that one either…

Okay, this one is for Zelda. Because she kind of has a thing for Jasper. Guess what! She even likes his hair / bad wig…

Zelda, girl? Are you still here? Guess she just fell down unconscious… Hm, hope she’s back tomorrow with her post.

Okay, that’s it for today. Wanna see more hot Twi-cast porn? Then keep coming back! Cause we decided to make a series out of it just like we did with the funny Monday stuff. So check out what we come up with next week!

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Off to make some more Twi-porn to print out and place over my bed

Saveyoursoul

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Like our hot Twi-cast porn? Made some for yourself? Wanna share your favorite ones? Then do so in the comments or send an e-mail!

(images: google, modified by me; Yeah, I’m that talented… )