Meet the Soul sister

Alright, it took me two full days to first decipher my notes from the secret interview with my sister and then figure out what they meant. Cause while they seemed to make perfect sense at the time it wasn’t so clear what they really stood for a few hours later. You don’t know my sister yet so here are two things you should know before reading this post:

1.) She likes to monologue. Honestly, this girl can talk without breathing.

2.) She’s a physical person. Which means this was probably a lot funnier standing in front of her watching her “acting” it all out and making wierd faces.

Now let’s start with the first edition of Soul and sister chatting it up!

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Soul: So how was Eclipse?

sister: OMG, hilarious! We had that older woman sitting behind us and she completely freaked out during the proposal scene and started shouting stuff like “Come on, take him! Say yes!” Crazy! She was way too old to do stuff like that!

Soul: Haha, I’m so glad our mum would never do stuff like that! I would DIE of 2nd-hand-embarrassment!

sister: Yeah, and it got even worse! Then there was the Jacob scene and she shouted “Decide now! Take him! FInally take SOMEONE!” I mean hello? She didn’t care which one Bella takes as long as she takes anyone? How does that make sense? And then worse again! Jacob comes into the tent and takes off his shirt and I hear her say “See Bert, THAT is how it’s supposed to look!” and I turn around and see she has BROUGHT HER HUSBAND! WTF? That’s the number one rule. Never bring your husband or boyfriend to a Twilight movie. She’s lucky if he doesn’t want a divorce now. I could so understand him if he does! That woman was crazy like woah!

Soul: You’re right, he SHOULD get a divorce! Poor guy… So how was the movie though?

sister: It was good. Some passages were weird though. Like the campfire scene with the wolves. It felt like the just rushed through it to get to the parts they needed Billy to talk about and that was it. Didn’t feel as if they were chillin and hanging out having a nice campfire barbeque at all. Plus Kristen Stewart? That girl can’t act! All she does is doing puppy eyes the whole damn movie long. And trying to touch her hair and then pulling her hand back last minute. Why is that? Does that make any sense?

Soul: Well, that might be because she has to wear that shitty wig. But I agree, I’m not impressed by her acting either.

sister: Yeah, she sucks! I wish they would kick her out and take that girl from the Vampire Diaries!

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See, that alone is proof that this girl is my sister! I swear I never influenced her when it comes to Twilight but still she doesn’t like KStew as Bella. Just like me. Awesome! Plus that cougar sitting behind her in the theater? I really pity her husband! My sister got that one right! Never bring your boyfriend / husband to a Twilight movie. Ever. Cause he will either think you’re a crazy Twihard or that you want him to use glitter bodylotion. And you don’t want him to think either one of this, trust me!

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Off to secretly interview the Soul sister about why she like the Vampire Diaries girl better (SPOILER: probably for the same reasons that I like Nina Dobrev better as well)

Soul

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So now you finally met the Soul sister. How did you like her review? Do you agree? Any other thoughts? And how crazy was that woman sitting behind her on a 1 to 10 scale? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(image: me)

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HTD awesomeness straight from Soul’s cell

Uhm nope, I’m not in jail. Yet. Instead I wanna share some of the hilarious text message conversations I have from time to time with blog girls like Zelda, Kiyokamori or F_Muse. Mainly because my cell phone keeps bugging me about 95% of my memory space being occupied. But also because some of our conversations pretty much rule and I don’t want to delete them just like that without having them securely stored away somewhere else. And what would be better than a well-known public Twilight-Blog, huh?

Ready? Then here we go with our first edition of Gems from Soul’s phone!

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The one where Zelda barey finished Twilight but already feel the urge to text me about watching that superbad reality show

Zelda: It’s about the 17 year old I don’t know her name who neglects her apprenticeship because of her undying love for Edward Cullen. Haha, I’m so watching this!

I can’t tell you how glad I am Zelda didn’t turn out that way after I introduced her to Edward! I would so have had a bad conscience for the rest of my life for turning her into a crazy Twihard!

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The one where Zelda admits for the very first time that she’s Team Edward

Zelda: I’m at the part where Bella and Jacob ride the motorcycles and Bella gets that head injury. Damn it was so sad after Edward left. But you were right, Jacob is cool as well! Just not as cool as Edward though

*five minutes later*

Zelda: Haha, I still prefer Edward. That’s why I read REAL FAST so he finally reappears!

See, Zelda is a smart girl! Just read the Jacob part fast and Edward will be back so much sooner! Pretty much the same trick all those girls do when they fast forward the whole middlepart on their New Moon DVDs. Only Zelda beat them and invented that about half a year earlier!

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The one where she didn’t know the title of the “third one” yet

Zelda: Hi Soul! (*note: insert real life name here! Cause no, Zelda does NOT call me Soul usually*) Finished it yesterday! On my way to get the third one! And yes, watching the trailers tomorrow would be perfect!

That was from the middle of september 2009 when the New Moon trailers where flowing freely and we almost died from hotness overload. Aw, remember those good old days? I kinda miss then sometimes…

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The one where I started reading my first fanfic ever (Wide Awake) and start baking cookies

Soul: I’m reading a new book right now I found on the internet. SO GOOD! Every chapter is named after a different cookie and they all sound so delicious! Gotta try some of them out! I’m even taking my lappy to work with me right now so I don’t have to stop reading…

Zelda: Read on then, girl! I gotta take a look at those cookies, I bet there are quite a few good ones!

Haha, back in the days when I still called Wide Awake a book. Oh how little did I know of the awesomeness that is the fanfic world… Uhm, in other news I take responsibility for this one… I said every chapter was named after a different cookie recipe and that most of them sounded delicious. I had NOT YET been to the part where “cookie” gets a whole new meaning… Reading that text message now looking back it DOES sound as if it meant something completely different… Which I swear it did not. Yet.

Alright, that were the first text messages from almost two months before we started the blog. Funny to look back at my old self. Makes me laugh SO HARD! Just you wait when I get to the week where we FINALLY started blogging! You’ll be DAZZLED!

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Off to text Zelda that I posted her messages

Soul

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How awesome is it that I share such private stuff with you all? And that I brought Zelda back to the blog even though she doesn’t know it yet? Did you laugh your ass off when I said I “found a book online”? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

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Chatting up the new Eclipse trailer… or clip… or whatever they call it now

Ah Summit, what a smart move. You announce the FINAL Eclipse trailer to premiere on Oprah. Then everyone goes WTF because that thing most definitely was one minute too short to be anything near a FINAL trailer. But of course you can’t go back on your word and release a longer trailer. So you just give us tons of random scenes and call them CLIPS now. AWESOME! We SO haven’t seen through this. Also I hope you can hear my sarcasm through those thick black walls of your Summit headquarters or wherever you’re hiding these days. I won’t complain though cause I love me some Eclipse clips. So today it’s time to chat the parking lot scene up. You know, the one from the MTV awards.

0:22: Edward’s face when he says “of course not” is priceless. Because it’s only one step from saying “because you can’t do what anyone wants you to like let’s say stay safe at home instead of almost killing yourself in a poor attempt of trying out cliff diving just to hear my voice you stupid little trouble maker”. Just that Edward would NEVER say that to Bella. Ever. Even though I think he should. Cause someone HAS to tell her the truth. Just saying.

0:39: The Edward smirk kills me! Like seriously KILLS ME! THAT is why I fell in love with this guy! Two seconds later though it rather looks as if Rob is trying not to burst out laughing his ass off about Taylor practising his “fierce” look. THAT is why I fell in love with Rob once I guess. His giggling. And the mumblish singing of course!

1:02: Edward’s thoughts in that moment (because you know I can read his mind): “DAMN YOU JACOB! There is one single rule and you can’t stick to it! DON’T TELL BELLA ANYTHING. Because all she’s gonna do is get herself into trouble. Brilliant. Now she will end up bugging me about changing her so she can fight with us. Or to have sex with her before she dies. And I won’t do either thing…”

1:20: BOOB STARE ALERT! Jacob is SO checking out Bella’s boobs right there! Thanks to Zelda for pointing that one out to me via text message in the middle of the night. You just “get it” when stuff is important!

1:31: “It’s him I don’t trust.” Yeah, you shouldn’t, that guy has a motorcycle and a tattoo which means he is all badass and stuff. And oh yeah, he also kinda wants to do your girlfriend…

1:39: Super nasty Jacob-stare alert!

1:42: AS IF! Bella would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS run away with Jacob like that with Edward standing right there! SCRIPT FAIL!

1:46: Did anyone else wait for Jacob saying spider-monkey at the end of that “hold on tight” phrase? Because I sure as hell did. I would have laughed my ass off had they really let him repeat Edward’s infamous line from Twilight here. So sad that didn’t happen! Also can you hear my sarcasm here? Cause that was one of the worst lines in Twilight by FAR! Or at least one of the most 2nd-hand-embarrassing ones. And I’d never thought Edward could make me 2nd-hand-embarrassed over ANYTHING…

Alright, the rest is more or less just a mesh up of old trailer scenes. Including some new Jasper-is-practicing-his-sexy-running scenes though. Hello there Zelda’s vampire crush!

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Off to watch that trailer clip another 217 times (for important blog purposes of course!)

Soul

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Are you Team Jasper as well? Then raise your hand in the comments so Zelda won’t feel lonely anymore. Or just share random thoughts about that clip. Or write me an e-mail. I LOVE to get mails from all of you!

(video: YouTube)

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Chatting it up: The Twi-Trinity at Oprah part 2

Ready? Then here comes part two of all the Oprah craziness!

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0:42: Oh no, Twilightmoms! I mean, you can be a mom and like Twilight and still be awesome… but for some reason I’m pretty sure that THOSE Twimoms will make me 2nd-hand-embarrassed as hell…

1:09: Okay, I was right! We’re only about 20 seconds in and I already feel terribly embarrassed for them. They got an Eclipse countdown on a porcelain plate? And different chocolate-dipped strawberries? WTF? Also I wanna give the Oprah lady some kind of award for delivering the line “Okay, that’s not weird at all” without breaking into laughter or starting to scream. In fact I just made me realize I should say that line more often here on the blog… So THUMBS UP for the Oprah lady! Plus each of the Twimoms wears a different Twilight shirt AND they got the Edward and Bella jewelery box? For some reason I’m convinced they got all the Hot Topic merch I would never ever buy because it would SO give away my obsession and craziness acute fondness for Twilight.

1:41: Thumbs up again for the Oprah lady’s basement line! I so feel like she could write an AWESOME post for this blog about her Twimom experience!

1:43: Gah, I was right! They DO own every single piece of Twilight merchandise that has ever been available at Hot Topic. Kinda horrifying! The only thing I really envy them is the Edward cut-out. And that’s IT! Cause no, I do NOT want the umbrella, the lunch box, the bottles from Burger King or the stuffed animal wolf!

1:49: They walk an effing fake miniature red carpet in their basement? What are they? Nine year old girls playing Barbie? Only this time Ken is paler and wears a tweed suit? Moments like this make me realize how lucky I am to have a “normal” mom that does not embarrass me like that on one of the most viewed national TV shows ever…

2:28: Bwahaha, interview with the kids? WIN! You always know the kids will tell you ALL the dirty little secrets! Ah, the boy telling his mum only watches the Edward scenes… why? We all know CHARLIE is the REAL star of Twilight, right? And the hubby accusing her of loving Edward more than him? Brilliant! Just you wait till she starts reading fanfic!

3:01: WTF? They get invited to the show? Because “Jacob, Edward and Bella” will be there? Yes, just use the names of their characters in the movie instead of their real names. Cause that’s not weird at all…

4:39: What? Rob feels lonely on Saturday nights? Like TONIGHT? I mean, it IS Saturday after all… Uhm, why did you never call ME? Honestly Rob, I gave you my number a while back and I told you, if there ever is ANYTHING I can do for you, just CALL ME! So I expect my phone to ring tonight! I promise, this will be the best Saturday night of your life! Hands down! (Yep, I know that just was a “that’s what she said”…)

5:11: For some reason this Oprah episode makes me like Kristen more and more. Unfortunately not enough to invite her to my evening with Rob though, sorry.

5:21: Taylor watches American Idol? You know what that means, right? He is probably secretly gay! Cause NO straight guy I know would watch this. Ever.

6:05: Taylor at the one and only Team Jacob sorority out there! You know the campus people only allowed them to surprise the girls late at night because Oprah could convince them that Taylor is secretly gay! She was all like “Don’t worry, no one’s gonna get knocked up! They call him Taytay and he watches American Idol. He is NOT interested in GIRLS after all…” Haha, those girls are all kinds of crazy… but also kinda cute. Cause they KNOW they are crazy and they admit they like Jacob because of his abs. They RULE!

7:21: Haha, I SO think that Taylor is using his “I’m undercover agent lowrider on a secret mission” voice here. He feels so cool sitting outside that door without the girls knowing that he’s there! Also at the end, after they threw him to the sharks into a room full of Team Jacob sorority girls that would probably immediately do him, all he has to say is “Alright, that was fun…”? Uhm, this so is another hint about Taytay NOT being interested in girls as much as they probably thought he is. Just saying…

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1:18: Just in case you didn’t know that Oprah: It is NOT uncommon AT ALL to read the whole saga in one week! I read them all in little over five days. Do I get an award now? A ticket to the red-carpet premiere? No? What a pity… Also, could Dakota’s shorts be any shorter than they already are? I don’t think so. But once more I gotta say, I love her version of Jane!

2:02: Dakota’s sister makes a robot at school and calls it Robot Pattinson? Uhm, that’s not weird at all…

4:24: Oprah mentioning Tom Cruise? You know that was a hint to Rob that this was his last chance to jump up on his chair and declare his undying love for Kristen!

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0:35: Haha, I love how Oprah did not even attempt to ask Rob and Kristen the cigarette and alcohol question.

0:53: Ah, and then Oprah unfortunately totally misses the point when she asks Taylor about the ideal WOMAN… Well, I guess the beef patties thing goes for the ideal man as well though!

3:28: Kristen giving that ring to the little girl and hugging her? So sweet! WIN!

4:10: Dang, Angryward is HOT! Ooohhh and Charlie! For me Charlie will always be the secret highlight of the Twilight movies! And then when Jacob says “I kissed Bella”… I SO can’t wait to see what happens next! Damn you Summit for making me wait two more months!

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So that was the whole Oprah craziness. I gotta say that was the best and funniest Twi-themed show I have seen in quite a while! Oprah and the Twi-Trinity plus random families in their pjs plus sorority girls plus crazy Twimoms FOR THE WIN!

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Off to hide my Team Jacob strawberries from Mama Soul

Soul

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Any thoughts about the whole Oprah business? Were there really hints that Taylor might be gay or is that just me going crazy? And can we please discuss the degree of craziness of those Twimoms? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube)

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Let’s chat it up: The Twi-Trinity on Oprah part 1

I admit we are a little behind on stuff right now. We need to talk about the MTV Movie Awards nominations and the Eclipse soundtrack plus a few minor things. But I thought it would be a good idea to start with all the Oprah stuff cause that shit is HILARIOUS! In fact there is so much hilariousness (yep, that’s a word!) that I gotta split it up into two posts. So let’s start with part one right away!

0:16: Uhm, does anyone else love that huge ass eclipse sign with “Oprah” written across it in the original Twilight letters being ten times bigger than the actual movie title? LMAO! Plus thumbs up for everyone being dressed properly! They all look nice. Rob didn’t forget to put on some pants after all…

0:31: Super 2nd-hand-embarrassing Twihard alarm! They brought signs to Oprah? WTF?

1:03: Dang, Kristen looks tired… I bet Rob kept her up all night! …JUST KIDDING!

1:11: They all saw Eclipse before I did? Shouldn’t I have some kind of prerogative seeing that I’m a Twilight-blogger and all??? Haha, and Rob’s face when he’s like “WHAT? They saw Eclipse? Before I did?” aw, surprised Rob is cute!

2:24: Oprah calling Rob SIR! WIN!

3:14: “They just like doing Twilight-related things.” “Together.” Hell YES! Rob and Kristen get it!

4:09: Oprah hugs Kristen? And *SPOILER ALERT* until the show is over she will have mentioned Kristen’s shyness at least 124 times. Uhm, does anyone else feel like they told Oprah to not bug the girl cause she is really shy and nervous and stuff just so she wouldn’t try to press THE question?

4:41: “I don’t think anybody is waiting for anything else than just you…” MAKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ROB OFFICIAL. I bet every Twihard and Robsten out there was holding her breath for those exact words! Yep Oprah, I know you know that’s what everyone’s waiting for. Including yourself. Instead you finish that sentence with “being yourself”? Uhm yeah, nice try… And you all know that with that “feel really at home” phrase she tried to signal that she was totally okay with Kristen leaving her chair to sit in Rob’s lap instead, right!?

5:26: Kristen saying that Bella is totally awkward? MOTHER EFFING WIN! So true! This just gained La Stew 100 points!

6:22: I’m DYING! Imagine Rob as a rapper please! LMAO! And Oprah looking like “WTF?” I would pay all the millions I don’t yet have and probably never will to listen to one of those rap-tapes! They might even be more precious than Rob’s sex-tape! Do you think he wrote his own texts back then? I bet he did! So I know one of our readers works with someone who’s parents in law know Rob’s parents (Hi T. )… So what do I have to do for you to “organize” me one of those tapes? Cause we all know they are somewhere stored away at the Pattinson residence! And yes, T., I’m DEAD SERIOUS about this!

8:29: Rob laughing his ass off about being more influential than Obama kills me. Cause let’s face it, that IS kinda ridiculous. I mean, how did he influence people? Okay, Hot Pockets, Heineken and the plaid industry probably owe him for their sales going up 253 % in the last year… but other than that?

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0:18 – 2:52: They will never let Taylor live that shit down. For the rest of his life he will be the hot underage guy who managed to put on 30 pounds of pure muscles in less than 6 months to achieve the best eight-pack anyone ever had even putting Arnold Schwarzenegger and the incredible Hulk to shame. Awesome!

5:23: Ahhh, I almost missed it the first time I saw the video! Rob makes a sloppy seconds joke cause Kristen kissed all those other guys before at the audition. Hahaha, LMAO! WIN!

5:42: So if we didn’t get a proper answer to THE question at Oprah, we never will! And to be honest, I’m perfectly okay with that… more room left for my imagination. Aka hot scenes of Rob and well, ME of course!

6:35: Rob visiting random families at home. Brilliant!

Family 1: Rob knocks and then shoots back again as if he wants to run away as fast as he can. LMAO! I can so see Rob as a kid doing that! And then… nothing happens. Rob knocks on a door and NO ONE comes to let him in? Haha! “Should we just break into the house?” Bwahaha, one of the moments that makes me absolutely convinced that hanging out with Rob is FUN! “We we’re in the basement”… getting drunk and horny while watching Twilight for the 157th time.

Family 2: “Oh god they got a dog”… and the dog obviously is Team Jacob! At least that would explain why Rob barks right back at the dog. THE MUM! Thank god Mama Soul would never give me away to 2nd-hand-embarrassment like that! She jumps up and down and then yells directly in Rob’s face “Oh my god, he is hot!” Uhm, thanks for being a NORMAL mum, Mama Soul! Also, can I please have tickets handwritten by Rob for every event I will ever go to in the future please?

Family 3: A Twilight-Dad! You so know that he IMMEDIATELY recognized Rob! AWE-SOME! Also they seem to be the most normal family by far! A little screaming and swooning but no one tried to attack Rob plus the mum didn’t seem like a complete cougar. I bet she would be perfectly happy with just having Rob as her son in law. And you know the chances aren’t too bad seeing that Rob would love to have dinner with them!

So Rob, ext time don’t forget to knock on MY door!

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So that was part two! Don’t forget to tune back in when I chat up the rest aka Taylor being thrown into a house full of crazy Team Jacob members and a super 2nd-hand-embarrassing bunch of Twimoms. Oh and there’s a new Eclipse clip and other stuff as well!

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Off to watch Oprah over and over again cause this is SO the Rob I once fell in love with

Soul

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What were your favorite parts of the Twi-Trinity at Oprah? Did I miss any good parts in the video above? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube)

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The HTD half-anniversary aka Rob gets his Bday glasses out

See, I knew it all along! Rob LOVES us!

Just in case you have no idea what’s going on: Today I’m not gonna talk about the Eclipse trailer or Rob, Kristen and Taylor arriving in Vancouver or re-shoots of the meadow scene with Bella and Jacob only or the Vanity Fair photoshoot with the Twi-ladies. Yes, I know about all of this and yes I’m gonna blog about it soon. Not today though! Cause today is our 6 months blog anniversary!!! Or well, rather half-anniversary cause it’s just half a year but whatevs. To be frankly honest I’m a bit sad I gotta write this post myself. Actually I hoped that some Disney fairy would come over and make an absolutely fantabulous anniversary post so that when I would wake up and check the blog bada bing bada boom there would be a nice little surprise for me…Alas that didn’t happen. I guess all the Disney fairies were simply too busy… Oh well, then I have to do this post on my own, it’s not as if I hadn’t done that before. Everything is right as long as I won’t have to do my birthday post alone as well!

Wow, six months. Thinking back it doesn’t seem that long. I mean yes, I remember evenings sitting there in my bed at almost 2 am trying to come up with SOMETHING to blog about. I have really no idea how I managed all of this in addition to my real life (yes, I have one!) but I’m endlessly proud to say that we had a new post up here EVERY SINGLE DAY! And even though it’s “just a Twilight-blog” that really feels like a huge achievement to me! In the past six months this blog made me laugh and scream and cry. Okay, I only cried from laughter to be honest cause yes, 2nd-hand-embarrassing videos do that to me!

My dudettes twitpic me stuff like this... yummy!

But the thing that surprised me most were the people I met through this little blog. And no, I do NOT mean UC from LTT leaving a comment or Alex Meraz sending me a Direct Message on Twitter. Yes, that WERE epic moments for me. But what I really mean are all the ladies (yes, sadly no guys yet) that have become e-mail friends. Girls whose mails make me laugh and help me to find something to write about when I’m close to writer’s block. That tweet me countless pics of cupcakes

Or THIS... See, Soul is all around the world

(Thanks Kiyokamori and F_Muse), secretly scan several articles from The Sun at work to mail them over to me (this so looks like a Mission Impossible scene in my head Tracy) and send me fanfics, Isle Esme pics and Awesome Tattward manips (Hi Dot), are there to chat the Eclipse trailer up with me when Zelda is MIA (Yep Chelle, Bella DOES look different!) and send me pics from the Bel Ami set plus manage to film Rob RUNNING (You know that I’m talking about you dear special agent Alkonyat ). I heart you all BIG times for just being yourselves and for writing me all those mails that NEVER fail to cheer me up! I wish we could one day all come together and throw a huge HTD party!

And in return I photoshop awesome stuff like THIS for them. Cause I'm completely crazy like that...

Maybe we will do that for the premiere of Breaking Dawn 2 and then all get drunk as hell together afterwards when it becomes clear that they screwed it up royally… just kidding! About the screwing, NOT about the party though!!! Also thanks for taking the time to answer all the questions for our little HTD survey which I will publish tomorrow or on Sunday. Plus massive hugs to Kiyokamori for staying up until 5 am in her exam week when I desperately needed someone to chat with! Can you believe it? This girl is ALL kinds of awesome! I could say so much to every single one of you but alas this post would get way too long and nobody would read it to the end… So instead let me tell you one of the crazy things that happened over the last six months as an example for all the other little things that have happened!

Once upon a time we had a commenter called Doo. She was one of our very first frequent commenters and I was so proud to have her. One day I wrote a post about Rob’s photoshoot for Details Magazine and said he looked like a porn producer in those pics. Then I asked all our readers to participate in our contest and send in titles for Rob’s upcoming porn movies. Doo won by coming up with the fantastic title “TwiHARD”. Honestly, how come no one else noticed how ironic and brilliant this is? So I wrote Doo a mail telling her she had won an awesome fake prize. Yep, I’m not rich enough yet to give out real prizes yet. But let me tell you our fake prizes RULE! I told her she could choose between the main part in Rob’s first porn production of the Lord Pattinson oil painting to hang up over her bed. Alas, I never heard from Doo again and was sure she had quit reading our blog thinking I was a total pervert… Last week though my dear e-mail friend Dot confessed that SHE had once left comments under the name Doo with her old mail-address. At first I felt a little stupid for never having thought of that possibility myself and then I had to laugh really hard. Like Twi-hard. So the Doo mystery is finally solved and I’m happy to know that Dot doesn’t think I’m a pervert after all. Right? RIGHT??? Well, she chose the painting not the porn. So today dear Dot aka Doo I’m very proud to be finally able to hand you over your awesome fake prize, the Lord Pattinson oil painting ready to hang up over your bed!

Okay, you might have to print it out first before you can hang it up but I aid it would be a fake prize and for that I gotta say it’s a pretty amazing piece of art! Also I’ll send you a version without my dedication written on it just in case you wanna feel alone with Rob!

And with this super awesome and long as hell post we kick off our half-anniversary special half-week!

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Get the Champagne out and party!

Soul

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(images: google; modified by me; plus Twitpics from the dudettes!)

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Brandnew Eclipse trailer – This is the FINAL one?

First of all, just in case you haven’t watched Oprah: She announced that on May 13th Dakota, Rob, Kristen and Taylor will be on her show. May 13th is my dear dudette F_Muse’s birthday, so nice present for you girl! But oh, wait, it’s also ROB’S BIRTHDAY! Rob spends his bday on OPRAH? WTF??? Are you kidding me? Will he get a ginormous cake there with a pic of him and KStew on top? Will it be the day of love confessions when Kristen as a “present” for Rob finally freaks out and yells “Okay fine, we ARE together” in the middle of Oprah and Rob’s conversation about different kinds of plaid shirts? Will Taylor Lautner pull off a “Tom Cruise”, jump up on the couch and make it official that he and Justin Bieber are a couple madly in love as well? Cause you KNOW Taylor is SO the type for doing insane stuff like that. Plus I remember someone calling him the “next Tom Cruise” a while back even though I have no idea why… And all that time he hung out with Taylor Swift you might now ask!? Well, doesn’t every girl need a gay friend to go shopping with and chat about men and stuff? Also we all know that Taylor is probably the most popular young lady in music business right now, she could TOTALLY have set him up with Bieber! Ah, the scenario playing in my head right now… Don’t you love when I get carried away like this and make up stuff like this? Come on, I know you love me for that!

Okay, off to the real thing now! Without further ado, here is the brandnew Eclipse trailer! Watch it! (Yes, if you have already watch it, do so again! You know you want to!)

Stuff we need to discuss:

• why every single Twi-trailer EVER starts with trees and by trees I mean THE EXACT SAME TREES
• why Edward suddenly looks older when he shouldn’t
• how hot Riley is and why I never noticed that before
• Kristen’s wig looking fortunately MUCH better than in the stills
• why the scene with the Newborns coming out of the water looks just like the one in Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead Man’s Chest
• how Dakota ROCKS the Jane once more
• Jasper’s hair… WTF?
• the action and fight sequences
• the FUCKING UGLY engagement ring
• how I start to like the new Victoria better but simultaneously hate her wig more
• Jacob, especially the punching the bike scene
• the music
• why this trailer is A WHOLE MINUTE shorter than a normal “final” trailer

So this all stuff we will discuss here over the next week, starting tomorrow with super awesome photoshop creations I did in regard to that engagement ring. Honestly, don’t miss out on the fun cause it will be BRILLIANT (pun SO intended!). Now watch the trailer another 5-183 times and tell me if there’s anything else we should include in out “Chatting it up” list! Cause I’m dying to hear what you all think!

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Off to tell Zelda about the trailer cause I’m not sure she has already seen it

Soul

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Leave a comment or e-mail us and share your trailer-thoughts with us!

(video: YouTube)

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New Moon Rifftraxed aka 22 minutes you’ll never get back

After all that talk about Eclipse (I’m not done yet!) I thought we could go back to New Moon for a little change. And since the DVD is out, there are tons of new videos on YouTube now. I think I haven’t posted their Twilight video yet, but maybe you already heard of these guys. Today it’s time for the Rifftrax version of New Moon. Which basically means that a couple of men sat down and commented New Moon in a very snarky, sometimes even evil way. And I think it’s hilarious nevertheless. Cause I can so see the average boyfriend watching New Moon with their girlfriends and thinking the exact same things that the Rifftrax guys say OUT LOUD. Actually I wanted to chat those videos up with someone but no one was around so instead I just took notes while watching it. Ready? GO!

1:47: Did your boyfriend / husband / random guy sitting next to you in New Moon look like Mike Newton does here? I can’t tell, I just had Zelda and Mama Soul next to me you know…

2:03: The Cullens yelling “Boo, we hate you Bella!” in the birthday scene? Somehow I would have understood if they had really done that… TEAM CULLENS, get Bella off Edward!

4:02: *blink blink blink gape blink blink blink blink* Uhm yeah, the Kristen Stewart style of acting has never been more obvious

5:04: “I sold you to another franchise. It’s Hogwarts for you kid.” I’m just trying to imagine which role she would play there…

5:49: They make a Bella and Jacob / casual sex / mechanic joke? Are you kidding me?

6:29: “Sam and I are taking the Ring to Mordor.” My favorite part so far. But maybe that’s just cause I’m a huge LOTR nerd…

7:27: Uhm yeah, this really is Legend of Zelda vision. I gotta know stuff like that cause Zelda was the best game around when I was a kid!

9:16: “And theaters full of shrieking teenager learn the hard way that some things are better left to the imagination.” So true! I mean not that it wasn’t awesome to see Rob taking off his shirt. Only it didn’t look at all like shirtless Edward. In my imagination he had actual abs you know, not the airbrushed kind… Just saying.

9:29: “It doesn’t make sense for you to want me.” The whole Twilight series summed up in nine words! So true, so true. He should have taken ME instead. Or actually I have a deal with purple.is.cool that she can have Edward. But that’s another post I guess…

10:51: “And against all odds the movie ends with Bella staring blankly into the camera trying in vain to stammer out a coherent response to someone.” Yeah, it seems as if that is what the movie consists of: Bella staring and breathing out loud 58%, Jacob shirtless 41% and 1% Edward shirtless…

And off to the second one! (Some scenes repeat here but watch it nevertheless cause there’s a bunch of hilarious new scenes in it as well!)

1:31: And finally we get a Pete Wentz reference. Seems that guy is everywhere lately.

2:55: And a Lost reference as well? Ah, you’re so down with the kids, guys!

4:41: “Again Mike is left to wonder why he just doesn’t date the friendlier, hotter, oscar-nominated girl.” Yeah, I don’t understand that either! Why is no one of the Twi-guys going for Anna?

6:04: So after Pete Wentz and Lost we now got Justin Bieber. Honestly, what IS it about that kid? Cause I just don’t get it.

7:37: This has really nothing to do with the Rifftrax version, but I want them to kiss SO BADLY here!

9:26: Saying NBC executives are soulless monsters? WIN! TEAM CONAN!

10:05: “You can’t hurt each other without hurting me!” Uhm… aannndd? Who do you think you are, girl? Honestly Bella? This is how you wanna stop a vampire and a werewolf to fight? And it WORKS? WTF?

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Off to check if Chris “the DILF” Weitz’s comment can keep up with this

Soul

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PS: While we’re talking about New Moon again, don’t forget to enter our long term KWOP KILAWTLEY CONTEST! You still got time to participate until someone spills the beans on what it REALLY means… which might never happen… better hurry up though just in case!

So what do you think about these guys? Can you imagine your boyfriend thinking stuff like that while watching New Moon? which were your favorite parts? Do you feel sorry cause I had to chat that up with myself once again? Do YOU want to chat stuff up with me? Whatever it is, leave a comment or e-mail me!

(videos: YouTube)

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Chatting up the Eclipse poster with myself

Yep, you heard me right. I’m officially crazy now, talking to myself. But well, no one else was around and I obviously had to chat it up with SOMEONE. Maybe I should have asked my alter ego Lauren… And because I’m awesome like that and want you to know what exactly I’m talking about, here comes the new Eclipse poster. In HQ. Which means you can click to zoom in ENDLESSLY and take a close look at ALL the details. You’re welcome, you can thank me later.

Let’s start with the good things, shall we? First of all I gotta admit I’m positively surprised by Bella’s hair here. The wig does not look half as bad as I thought it would. Plus I like all of their shirts. Bella’s hoodie fits pretty well and is just so… Bella. And Jacob’s shirt that looks kinda worn out. And Edward in a V-neck. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before but Edward should ALWAYS be in a V-neck! Surprisingly I think his jeans jacket looks pretty good as well. So THUMBS UP for the clothes! To me Edward looks so much hotter here than he did in New Moon. No tweed! Definitely a good sign! Oh yeah, and the Eclipse logo / writing thing with the red looks great. (Uhm, please help me! Is this the logo? Cause to me the real logo is the red ribbon thing… whatever, I like it!)

Alright, now over to the not so awesome parts. Sorry, but in order to stay honest I gotta address them as well… Why is the sky over Edward so damn dark and where Jacob stands you can almost see the sun? Does this make any sense or did they just think it would look cooler that way? Is this some strange “Jake was Bella’s personal sun in New Moon” reference I just don’t get? I have no idea… And WTF happened to Bella’s head? Maybe this is a hidden influence of the wig but it seems as if her head (or at least the part that is covered by her hair) goes on up FOREVER. Plus she kinda looks as if she’s either high from smoking too much pot or consumed some other kind of illegal substance. I mean, what’s up with her eyes? One is half closed, the other one open so it seems as if she has some serious squinting issues. Just saying.

After having the abs, is Taylor now trying to compete with these guys when it comes to tan as well? (**Hint** only 1 has really black skin)

While I got nothing bad to say about Edward at all, I’m still pondering what it is they did to Taylor. Too much fake tan? Hanging out on the beach for 128 hours straight? An attempt to look like a professional bodybuilder? I have NO idea, but man his skin looks DARK. Like almost African / Asian dark. Not Indian at all. Except you mean the Indians that actually come from India instead of Native Americans… Now the last thing. I almost cringe to say this cause I know the majority of you will not agree with me. But because I’m either fearless or crazy, I’m gonna say it nevertheless… I HATE THAT DAMN “IT ALL BEGINS… WITH A CHOICE” LINE. There, now it’s out. I just hate it! Cause for me Eclipse does not at all begin with a choice. I mean we got the marry Edward or not choice and the final Jacob or Edward choice but for me that’s just not it. I can’t quite grasp right now what it is that bothers me about that line. But I’ll find out and then let you all know, promise!

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Off to hide before you attack me with pitchforks

Soul

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So what do you think about the new Eclipse poster? Love it? Anything you don’t like? What do you think about the “choice” thing? Do you hate me for hating it? Please don’t… Anything interesting you discovered by zooming in REALLY REALLY close? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(image: via Twitter)

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Chatting up the Eclipse trailer aka where have Jake’s abs gone?

So Summit finally got around to giving us the first real Eclipse trailer and of course we’ll break it down here at HTD! I’m gonna make it a bit like our funny Monday stuff with a lot of pictures and then thoughts underneath them. All mixed with general stuff. Oh, and Zelda is back, kind of. We talked yesterday for about five minutes about the trailer. And she was like “I’m watching the trailer reaction videos first” until I told her that those were reactions to the NEW MOON trailer… Sometimes this girl really cracks me up!^^ To spare myself the effort of making countless quotes I’ll just give you a mash-up of what Zelda, our dear reader Tracy (with whom I had a hilarious e-mail conversation yesterday) and I came up with! Ready? Go!

Uhm, what happened to Edward? Why was he so hard to understand at the beginning? He talked like “Ishabella Shwan, I promishe to love you…” Honestly? Was Rob I’ll the day that he said those lines or what? Then the Volturi appear and look like this:

This looks so cool! Dakota rocks the Jane! And this shot of them reminds me a little of Lord of the Rings, don’t really know why. But I love  the Lord of the Rings so that’s a good sign.

Oh look, Edward wears a blue blouse! Just saying…^^ And hey, Bella wears a bad wig! But we knew that before I guess…

Hey look, I found a shot where you can see the shiteous wig even BETTER! So sad! Honestly Bella, what happened to your hair? Did someone cut it into a mullet? Oh wait, SOMEONE did that indeed! So Summit, maybe next time you just borrow the wig the Hillywood Show uses in their low budget parody. Cause it looks way better than that one…

All thumbs up for including Charlie “Ladies Man” Swan in the trailer! He is awesome! Definitely one of my favorite characters in the movies! Mama Soul, get your Team Charlie shirt out and let’s party!

Ah the sunset! I wish that was me standing there! Sunset and even better, the SEA! I wanna go there for my next holidays!

Edward looks kinda hot here. I mean like HOT! And have you counted? Jacob wears two different shirts in this 90 second trailer alone. I didn’t even know he had more than one shirt…

ALright, now this part is pretty difficult. I hate the new Victoria. Like HATE. No, more like HATE. Now, that’s right. The hair looks ridiculous and unnatural. And her expression seems a little dumb instead of evil. More like a little girl. Honestly Summit, you never made a mistake as big as kicking Rachelle Lefevre out! She was the PERFECT Victoria and Bryce Dallas Howard can only disappoint us after that. Rachelle was WWWAAAYYY better. Plus I hate when they change the actors just in the middle of the action. I will so get moviestills of every single scene where Victoria shows up in Eclipse and then photoshop Rachelle’s head on it. FOR SURE!

Dear Jacob, what happened to your abs and when did you acquire that little beer belly? Was it the countless barbeque parties with the wolfpack guys? Emily’s delicious cooking? Did Taylor forget to contract his abs properly during that scene? Well, Tracy and I decided that the abs are still there, we just can see them properly. And we blame this to 128% on the crappy quality the trailer had in some parts, just FYI. But oh hey, you got new khaki jorts! Stephenie will so love that! You know, she’s a huge fan of khaki…

I know those where just random thoughts about certain parts of the trailer. Wanna know how I liked it all in all? Well, you’ll just have to wait for the next post cause I got so much to say about it that this needs its own post. Yeah, I’m a cockblock, I know. Just like the Meyer girl, right?

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Off to watch the trailer for the 23rd time. Just kidding. Or maybe not?

Soul

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PS: Thanks to Tracy for discussing the very important subject of Taylor’s abs (or rather their absence) with me! And sorry again for telling you one hour early that the trailer will be “OUT NOW!”… Oh, and thanks to Zelda for returning from being MIA for such a long time and chatting up Edward’s speech disorder with me! I missed you so much here on the blog, girl!

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So how did you like the trailer? What were your first thoughts? Did you miss Taylor’s abs? And do you hate the new Victoria just as much as I do? You can’t hate her more, that’s just not possible. But maybe you like her? Then get off here! Just kidding! But if you do then tell me why! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: thanks to Twilightsource.com for posting all those screencaps!)

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