Customs guys and Twilight stuff

Sometimes I get awesome presents from some of the dudettes. Like THIS fabulous package Zelda and I got from Malaysia:

Thanks Kiyokamori and F_Muse! We love presents! Especially ones we didn't expect!

Sometimes dudettes try to send me Christmas presents but forget to fill out the customs content declaration so I have to pick the package up at our local customs office. And open it there in front of a customs guy. You know just so they can see I didn’t get heroin or random other drugs all wrapped up nicely in a package. So I go there and the nice young customs guy politely asks me to open it and hands me a cutter. And I feel cool for receiving another present from even another continent. And I obliviously open it with my I am so awesome I even got friends all over the world that send me xmas presents face. And then BAM I see THIS:

Yep, I kinda had a Harry Clearwater style heart attack right in front of the customs guy. Only internally of course. On the outside I was smiling and saying “Oh yay, pretty cool shower stuff. Awesome!” The moment your secret Twi-addict-life lies there all out in the open between you and a customs guy? Awkwardness! The moment you relize you have a friend on another continent that simply “gets” you and gave you the best and most hilarious because oh so fitting Christmas present? Priceless! So yeah dear Chelle, thanks for the nice surprise! Literally! Haha. I’ll recover from the embarrassment shock again someday. I think. Maybe. In a hundred years or so.

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Just kidding. The customs guy had no idea what Twilight is. Unbelievable, right? He has been living under a rock the last five years or so, haha.

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Soul

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Have you been Twilight embarrassed in public lately? Have you been unlucky enough to get a better informed customs guy who immediately knew why you ordered the “Sparkle Dildo”? Oh yes that really exists. Don’t ask how I know that…seriously. Just don’t. And no, I DON’T own one. Kthxbye.

(images: all taken by me; presents: all thanks to the dudettes)

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What happened to Angela aka do you love my not-blogging?

Oh hay there everyone! Do you love how I completely ignored all the Breaking Dawn filming drama? Yep, I do too so let’s just continue doing that for a little longer while I address another fun fact: Guess what happened! I stopped blogging for two whole months and the result of that is that… WE GOT TWICE AS MANY VISITORS THAN WE DID BEFORE. And that goes for every single day in the last six weeks or so. Uhm, I’m not quite sure if that’s a good or a bad sign. Being more successful with not blogging I mean, not the HUGE number of daily visitors in general. So first of all hi and welcome to all the newbies! I hope you like it here! I love to get comments by someone new. Or e-mails. Or to just see someone clicked on a really old post from back in the day. You know, back in the day before Taylor became legal and therefore irrelevant. Or back in the day before Christian Serratos aka Angela Weber started taking pics like THAT:

Uhm yeah, whatever. I’ll try to not make all those million jokes that come to my mind right now… you know about being young and needing the money. Or obviously being jealous of Ashley Greene and her Skinsuits. Or trying to seduce Edward cause if Bella can than so can Angela. So while I’m not making all those jokes, wanna hear another story instead? Like how one of the dudettes embarrassed me to death in front of a customs guy? Yes? Alright then check back again later this week! I bet you’re gonna laugh your ass off. I would have if I hadn’t been so embarrassed…

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Off to get my black lace leotard out to try and seduce Edward Angela Weber style

Soul

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Seriously, have you missed me as much as I have missed blogging? What super awesome stuff did I miss that I should blog about? Or are you new here and just wanna say hello? Whatever it is, leave a comment or e-mail me!

(images: Twicrackaddict)

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Jumping Rob is in da house!

Sometimes I get sick and have horrible headaches. And sometimes Zelda makes me freshly pressed orange juice to make me feel better. That’s why she’s the best fake internet wife ever! Thanks girl, it was DELICIOUS! So while I was feeling crappy, Rob apparently showed up in his boxers jumping around and landing in a lake. And it looked kinda like this:

Then all hell broke loose, Twitter crashed, facebook went down and the Twihards even were close to breaking Google because hello, it’s Rob wearing nothing but his undies. Plus he has obviously worked out a bit and shaved part of his man fur. I might even go as far as to say that might have been the hottest shirtless Rob ever. And because OF COURSE you cannot let an opportunity like this pass unnoticed and because the HTD dudettes rule, our super special agent Alkonyat (remember, she’s the one who became my hero for catching a vid of Rob RUNNING!) made the following pieces of awesomeness:

Yep, Rob likes Greenday

 

Rob also likes himself in Bel Ami... Honestly, how brilliant would it have been if this pic was real?

 

BEST THING EVER! SERIOUSLY! EPIC EPICNESS! YES I'M WRITING ALL CAPS ON PURPOSE!

 

This one's for you Zelda! Cause yes, you might not have known it Alkonyat but Zelda and I are Star Wars nerds. WIN!

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Off to getting well again so I can blog about all that Isle Esme business

Soul

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If you feel inspired and wanna get creative with jumping Rob or random other stuff that leaked from the Breaking Dawn filming, whatever it is, send it over!

(images: Thanks to HTD dudette Alkonyat who made my day by allowing me to post these. Love you!)

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Birthday Rob around the corner

Yay! Get those party hats out again! Told you this would be a week’s worth of HTD anniversary celebration. And come on, you had to see that one coming. I mean, when have we ever celebrated anything here WITHOUT bringing bday Rob? Yeah, never. That’s when.

Real posts coming up this week as well! But because I always get sentimental and talk about how much all those people I met online because of the blog mean to me, I decided to post a special list today. Check it out!

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Stuff the dudettes and other frequent blog readers but no one in my real life knows about me

1. That I run a Twilight-Blog. Or any blog at all.

2. That I have a fake name. Or a whole fake internet life.

3. That if they would look into my “important work documents” folder they would find stuff WAY more interesting than boring work documents.

4. That I (or rather Blufish27) nicknamed the guy I’m currently going out with fireboy. (Honestly, that was just BRILLIANT! And he has no idea about it. One day ten years from now I’ll tell him and we’ll laugh our asses off. Ha!)

5. That this blog is what so much of my online time went into and NOT in having cybersex with creepy 50 year old business men. (Yep, there was one time when my dad hinted he suspected me of actually doing that. I kid you not.)

6. That I’m some kind of Twilight addict. (Yep, I always try to hide that fact. Don’t judge me. I’m scared everyone might think I’m one of those crazy fangirls…)

7. That Zelda is my internet wife. Ha! Best fake lesbian internet couple ever, right?

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This list could go on and on forever but I thought since 7 is a magical number I’d just stop there. Either that or I had to hurry up and get ready for a date with fireboy.

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Off to party with bday Rob! Isn’t he insanely sexy with those glasses?

Soul

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(image: Google, majorly modified by me)

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A long overdue Thank You

I know I should’ve put up a thank you post AGES ago. Like right the day after my birthday. But I didn’t. I got a pretty good reason for that though. No, it as absolutely nothing to do with me being to lazy or to busy. I just liked the fact that everytime someone would visit the blog (including myself) the topmost post popping up would be my wonderful birthday special. Yes, that’s kinda vain and stuff but I don’t care. I just love my bday post, okay? And by love I mean LOVE!

I am in love with this folder. Seriously.

Yep, bold, all capitals AND underlined, that’s right. That is how much I love it. And as if that hadn’t been enough Zelda showed up at my place and had another wonderful present for me. A folder entitled “important work documents”. Remember how we always used to joke around about keeping our fanfic in an important documents folder? This one was even better because in there were tons of our old posts all printed out plus dozens of awesome manips featuring me, blog stats, a screenshot of that one time LTT tweeted about me… In short, every important moment in our blog history, all our hard work put together in one folder of awesomeness.

Birthday Rob? Check. LTT tweet? Check. #2 fastest growing WordPress blog? Check. WE ARE AWESOME!

So once again a HUGE thank you to everyone who in some way contributed sth for that fantabulous birthday surprise, especially to Zelda but to all of the dudettes as well for all the manips, pics and sweet notes you sent. Meeting all of you was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me on the internet. Yep, you even beat my chats with fireboy. Not by far but still, I give you girls the #1 spot.

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In return for that birthday of amazingness and my 3 week hiatus I promise to get back to a more regular blogging schedule starting this week. Let’s begin with two posts a week, k? Sounds good? Then just you wait till you see what I got planned to kick this post fest off!

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Off to read some important work documents

Soul

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(images: taken by me)

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Happy Birthday Dudette! (No, I did NOT forget you)

Hey Baby, I put my fancy birthday outfit on just for you!

Hey Rob, I don’t know if you’re aware of it but today is my dudette Tracy’s birthday. For this special occasion I decided to make a list with five reasons why you, Rob, should date her! Honestly, you should! So learn this by heart and repeat it to yourself every morning before you get out of bed. You can thank me later for introducing you to this very special girl!

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1.) She’s one of the coolest super agents ever. She sometimes ninja scans newspaper articles for me. And god knows you need a girl with special abilities in your life that can keep up with all that paparazzi drama.

2.) She works with someone who knows your parents. You could “accidently” meet her at that colleagues party and everyone would love the thought of you dating a “normal” woman and not some bitchy Hollywood girl.

3.) She lives in London aka your favorite pub town in the whole wide world. She would let you crash on her couch so you wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor in Tom Stu’s apartment. Hell, she would probably even allow you to crash on her bed come to think of it…

4.) She drives a Mini Cooper. And you love girls in Mini Coopers. I can prove that!

Insert Tracy's face here and this would be your dream come true, Rob!

5.) She’s one of my dudettes. Do I have to say any more? Being a dudette of mine counts as a pro for pretty much everything!

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Sorry for taking so long to put this post up, but you know what they always say, right? The last birthday wishes are always the best! Happy Birthday, lots of hugs and love and a huge virtual birthday cake from the HTD-girls!

Soul

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(images: Google, modified by me)

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A Day with Bree and the Newborns Vol.2

Here comes part two!

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Everything is so much more fun with party hats

6.) Where did the Newborns live when they had a few days off? Did they built a camp or something? Would there have been “one day in newborn-camp” stories hadn’t they all been killed?
all the newborns hated each other there were 2 main “gangs”.  2 vamps who were the kind of leaders of the 2 groups and then the people who had “allied” with them bree didn’t belong to any of them.  they stayed in abandoned houses with basements since they thought the sun would kill them during the day they would stay in i guess ignoring or plotting agains each other.  They had to move often because sometimes they would get in fights and destroy the house they were staying at.  they don’t really find out that they’re an army and start training until the end so for the most part they’re just doing nothing
Hm, sounds kinda boring. I really hoped they would build campfires to roast some marshmallows…

7.) If it is true that Bree calls Edward redhead all the time, does she have nicknames like that for other characters as well?
she does call edward the redhead, but i can understand why and it doesn’t bother me.  Bella really appreciates and takes the time to study edward so she can afford to make distinctions between red and bronze.  bree, is about to get killed is super afraid, i can understand why she doesn’t take the time to categorize edwards particular shade of redish/orange/brown.  she doesn’t really have nicknames for the others, she just calls them the one with the black hair, the blonde one and things like that…
To be honest, I think the reason why I was so surprised that Bree calls Edward a redhead is because in my imagination he doesn’t have reddish hair at all. I simply ignored the facts and gave my imaginary Edward brown hair. Cause come on, bronze? What is that supposed to look like? Who the eff has bronze hair? I bet that isn’t even a real color!

8.) Did Bree have a chance to get a climpse at those hot shirtless Quileutes before they turned into wolves and the fight broke loose?
nope, she actually got late to the fight, that’s why she’s the only one that survived.  also, remember the wolves were not in the clearing with the cullens.  once she surrendered jasper made her close her eyes and covered her ears with his hands.  she could still hear “something” like some howling and the thud of their hearts but she’s got no clue what it is.  she thinks it might be some other kind of vampires.  Riley keeps them pretty clueless about everything
She didn’t even get to see those hot shirtless Indian teenage boys? Damn, seems like she missed ALL the good stuff…

9.) Where there hot vamps in the Newborn Army that would’ve made it worth to switch to the dark side?
not that we could tell, bree doesn’t really go into a whole lot of details about what the other people look like except for diego who had dark curly hair
Let me think: No hot guys, no campfires to roast marshmallows and not one single glimpse at the wolfpack abs? I’m out!

10.) Do we get to know anything about Victoria? ANYTHING? Because THAT’S the bad vamp I would have loved to read a book about!
not a thing – she barely even shows up
Now that really disappoints me. Seriously, what annoyed me about this Bree book was that Bree is a character I do not care about in the slightest. Victoria on the other hand? Hell yes I would love to read a book about her! She’s fierce and cool. She’s got that special “escaping” ability, lost her vampire soulmate. That’s TRAGIC! And EPIC! THAT would have been the book I would’ve loved to read! That, or Midnight Sun…

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Off to NOT join a Newborn army

Soul

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PS: A HUGE thanks and BIG hugs to blufish27 for taking the time to answer all my questions. I never thought the Bree book could be that much fun. WIN! Maybe I’ll give it a try. Right after I read Midnight Sun.

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A Day with Bree and the Newborns Vol.1

Hello there! We’re finally back to blogging. Which means I survived college exam hell. Yay! And to celebrate this special day that I returned from being MIA, there are party hats in all the picture I post today, haha. So I still haven’t read the Bree book but cdubs aka blufish27 offered to answer some of my questions about the book and it was an awful lot of fun. In fact it was so damn hilarious that I just HAVE to share our combined brillancy with all of you. My questions are written in our usual style, blufish27′s answers are in red (newborn eyecolor, what else!?) and comments by me are in turquoise, as always. And now, read!

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Hello there girl I still don't really care about

1.) What did Bree do before she was turned into a vamp? What was her life like?
she was a runnaway.  her dad used to beat her and her mom up.  the mom left and left her so she ran away.
Her mom left leaving her daughter behind? WTF?

2.) How old was she when she was bitten and turned into a vamp?
almost 16

3.) (This might be strange if the answer to 2 is something like 12 years) Do Bree and Riley ever get it on? Are there romantic moments? Fade to black scenes?
ha ha!!  no, bree and riley do not get it on at all!  she does develop a relationship with a guy named Diego but he gets killed before they even make it to the fight

4.) Do Riley and Victoria get it on? Are there romantic moments? Fade to black scenes?

Hello there naughty couple crashing houses

yes, but you don’t “see” anything about that, diego and bree follow riley to tell him that they’ve discovered sunlight does not kill them (riley has told them that it does and it never really clarifies if riley is lying of if that’s what victoria told him and he believes it) and they hear them (riley and victoria) inside a house
Bahaha. Yep, I just asked the (almost) same question twice. I’m lame cool like that. So Riley and VIctoria DO get it on after all, huh? I kinda wish we would see that cause damn, Victoria is one hot piece. As is Riley. Could someone write a fanfic about them and then send it over to me? Awesome!

5.) What do those Newborn vamps DO all the day? Like did they invent awesome party games or other stuff? I mean, so much spare time now that they don’t need to sleep anymore, they NEED some kind of entertainment or new hobbies!

Yep, purple's cool!

dumb stuff like read, listen to music, play videogames and for some reason love to listen to music with a loud bass.  apparently they also fight a lot.
Wait, they play videogames? Do they have “Spyro the Dragon”? Cause if they do I’m totally signing up for that shit! I love me some Spyro! Plus I think Zelda would come over to the dark side as well. Nothing is more inviting than a good old videogame featuring a purple dragon. Cause you know, purple is cool and stuff.

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Stay tuned for part two, followed by our Eclipse top ten lists!

Soul

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(images: google; all paty hats added by me)

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What if Eclipse does NOT dazzle me?

Nope, I still haven’t seen Eclipse yet. But HTD dudette Kiyokamori did. Then she live text messaged me while watching it informing me about stuff like “Leg hitch, be jealous” or “tent scene on NOW”. I was pretty busy being all jealous and excited and stuff. That was before I got her full review though. She rated it four out of ten. FOUR OUT OF TEN? That’s not even 50%! She said the feeling just wasn’t right. I thought about it and I gotta say I kinda agree. If she’s right that is. What if Eclipse is super exciting and well-done and all but I just don’t get the Eclipse feeling that the book gives me? Would I be disappointed? Hell yes! That doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t like the movie. It can still be entertaining, funny, exciting or whatever. But it won’t really be Eclipse.

Screw Skinsuits! Give me my Eclipse feeling!

Let’s face it: I didn’t count it but I guess 80% of our posts refer to the movies only and have nothing whatsoever to do with the books at all. I talked so much about Taylor Lautner’s abs, Kellan’s Calvins and Ashley’s Skinsuits that sometimes I got the feeling I forget why I started it all. When I first read Eclipse it wasn’t really about the fight. Or the Newborns. No! It was kinda retro and romantic and hilarious. My favorite book in the series. We had Edward’s oldfashioned proposal, the leg hitch, the moment when Bella realizes Edward bought a bed just for her, one of my favy parts ever where Alice kidnaps Bella because Edward bribed her with the yellow Porsche… There were TONS of highlights! At least twice as many as in New Moon or Twilight. I don’t want to be prejudiced, but I don’t think they will be able to give me my Eclipse feeling. And it kinda makes me sad. Remember I still haven’t seen the movie, so this is only judging by the clips and trailers and first reviews from Kiyokamori, F_Muse and cdubs. It seems though they made it all about the Newborns, fighting, about Bella being caught between her love for Jacob as well as Edward. Which is WRONG! That is NOT what Eclipse is about! At all! Plus from the moment you read the meadow scene for the very first time EVERYONE KNOWS Bella and Edward will end up together. THERE IS NO CHOICE! Alright alright, maybe I should try to manage my expectations a bit before I completely lose my shit in the cinema. Maybe I should just take the Eclipse movie as what it is (a probably pretty enjoyable movie in a huge franchise) and then go back home to read Eclipse the book to get the RIGHT feeling back again. With all my favorite scenes. Cause I SWEAR, if I could marry the moment where Alice says Edward got her the Porsche, I would! (Name where I got that slightly altered quote from and you win a fake prize!)

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Off to STILL not watch Eclipse

Soul

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What about you? What were your Eclipse expectations? What were the highs and lows? Were any of your favorite scenes missing? Give us your review via comment or e-mail!

(images: Google)

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Random stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with Eclipse at all

Uhm… yeah… so… let’s address the elephant in the room first. No post yesterday. Yes, I failed. Badly. And I’m sorry. I apologize to all of you from the bottom of my heart. Papa Soul had a three day birthday celebration. Yes, THREE days. I didn’t get around to writing something because I had to help and organize stuff and then I had to be there at the parties (yes, there were several parties) to make sure everyone had enough to drink and other boring stuff. Unfortunately I completely forgot to ask Zelda to take over here for me so yeah… But since we put up two posts a day more than once I think all in all we’re still even. So get over it. Please. Now to the real post!

Today I wanna share random stuff that happened in the HTD universe. Yep, we got our own universe by now. We’re that kind of awesome.

• Most (99.987%) of the dudettes have already seen Eclipse while I still haven’t. Fail, I know. Plus F_Muse was mean nice enough to tweet pics of her tickets to make me all jealous.

Dear F_Muse, it's official now. I envy you.

• I was bored at work so I looked through some of those bodybuilding magazines there. Guess what! They kinda want to jump on the Twiwaggon. How I can tell that? There was an article about blood where they mentioned Twilight. Plus the cover gave it away. Shirtless muscular guy with a green apple? This is SO the manlier version of the Twicover!

Hello there Twiapple. Oh, and hello there shirtless guy with the killer muscles.

(Sorry for the crappy quality. I didn’t have my camera with me so I had to use my phone to sneak a pic)

• Remember our dudette Tracy? Who used to read our blog during work her lunchbreak? Turned out she won’t be able to do that anymore. Cause HTD has been BLOCKED where she works! Should I worry now? Or rather be proud? I mean after all the amount of uber distracting Rob-porn, illegal Eclipse stills and random hot pics of shirtless guys (plus the shockingly high number of people that found us by googling “vagina dazzling”) it was just a matter of time until SOMEONE would block us. Sorry for you though, Tracy!

Alright, so this was the HTD universe mash up. No you’re all well-informed and absolutely up to date. Probably more so than I am seeing that an average of 99.7% of all our readers already saw Eclipse while I haven’t…

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One more week to go for me

Soul

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What about you? Anything twirelated happened lately? Is our blog blocked at your work / school / whatever as well? Did you miss me yesterday? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: F_Muse and my phone)

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