Did you miss me? Well I missed all of you! Remember the good old times when we used to celebrate New Year’s Eve on Isle Esme?

Get the champy out, it's HTD party time!

Well I wish all of you a happy new year with lots of great surprises and good times! And that you’ll all get over your classic New Year’s hangovers soon… Oh and also in case you’re planning your wedding this year, you can go and get your Bella wedding dress now. No joke. Don’t believe me? Here check it out, Alfred Angelo is indeed selling the Bella wedding gown. Then all that’s left to do is ask the Cullens if you can rent Isle Esme for your honeymoon and your good to go.

PS: Please don’t ask me how I ended up on their homepage. Kthxbye.

Wanna look like Bella on your big day? Now you can!

Just kidding I’m not done yet. You didn’t think I could let the fact that someone is actually selling Bella’s wedding dress pass without a few comments, right? So yeah in case you can’t tell sarcasm (you know like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory): I do NOT think anyone should buy this as their wedding dress. Ever. Cause I think weddings should be unique and special. And not Twilight copy cat weddings. Twilight inspired maybe but not Twilight copies. Plus please imagine your future husband being made fun of for the next 50 years by his buddies for actually letting his wife plan a Twiwedding. Lmao. I would never do that to my fiance. Oh wait I don’t have one right now… Well I wouldn’t do it to him if I had one.

Wanna show off your half-naked butt to your whole wedding party including your grandma? Now you can!

Might be the number 1 rule to get one anyway: Don’t ever mention wanting to plan a Twiwedding haha. Well I’m not too fond of Bella’s wedding dress anyways. I mean I think it fit in well with the movie (more on that in the soon to come review) but I wouldn’t choose it as a wedding gown for myself. Period. Unless Randy from Say Yes to the Dress would pick it for me. Cause you know Randy always knows best. Who else is basically in love with Randy and wants him to help pick her wedding dress? Anyone? If not get off here cause then we can’t be friends

Oh also has anyone seen Red Riding Hood? How did you like the newest project directed by Cathy Hardwicke, the woman who brought us Twilight aka the most sexy version of movie Edward in my opinion? SPOILER ALERT: 10 bucks say she wanted Billy Burke to play the wolf cause she thought it would mean he would have to run around shirtless for 90% of the movie. Cause you know she has a thing for him. and any other Twimen for that matter. Oh Cathy the Cougar, sometimes I really miss you…

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Off to browse Alfred Angelo some more. Did you know they have a Disney collection? Now THAT is classy and super awesome. Cause who doesn’t love a stylish Disney princess?

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(images: Alfred Angelo homepage; card made by me approximately 2 years ago)

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That is all. Also this kinda explains why Emma is basically my homegirl and not KStew. Sorry Kristen!

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Off to practice my KStew acting faces

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PS: Before anyone feels insulted, just for the record: I DO NOT hate Kristen. I just don’t particularly like her either. Haha yep, I just quoted Rosalie there. Aka the biggest bitch in Vamp Town apart from True Blood’s Pam maybe…

(image: iwastesomuchtime.com hahaha. No joke!)

Isle Esme beach porn from Edward and Bella with love

Cause seriously that is just plain weird. Also I hope this is not what Edward’s bedroom face will look like. Just saying.

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That is all. Kthxbye.

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(image: some german bridal shop website)

Remember how they ALWAYS made such a big deal out of premiering the newest trailer at the next best MTV award show? And remember how those Twilight trailer ALWAYS leaked BEFORE the show? Yeah? Well same thing this time. How I know? Uhm well, maybe because I watched the Breaking Dawn trailer approximately 3 hours before the show even STARTED. Ha! Win! Now watch it again with me. You know, to refresh our memory… and cause it has some good scenes in it.

Does anyone else think the Volturi scene in the beginning is SO random? Especially cause they don’t appear anywhere in the trailer later on? (Except the half second in the end that doesn’t count cause no one says anything and they don’t connect it to anything else in the trailer. This is my blog so I get to make the rules, remember? Ha!) I mean they DO show up somewhere in Breaking Dawn but since they don’t hint at the never-to-actually-take-place fight they might as well have cut them completely out and taken those 10 secs for a few more hot shots of naked Edward in the sea or something… Just saying.

Really like the Charlie and Renee reactions. Charlie’s face says it all. And Renee is so like hell yes I knew it, time to buy new fancy shoes for the party! Awesome.

Of course they couldn’t go longer than 30 secs in a trailer without showing shirtless Jacob. Cause that one ALWAYS works. In contrary to shirtless Edward. And no that is not being mean. I mean have you read the New Moon reactions post? Jacob takes his shirt off, the audience SCREAMS. Edward takes his shirt off and sparkles… everyone LAUGHS. True story. Really like the Jacob scene in the trailer though with Billy and the invitation in the end. In fact it’s the only one with a little action in the WHOLE trailer. (No, I will NOT count the demon baby kicking scene in the end. Cause it grosses me out. I will refuse to acknowledge that whole part. Until maybe one day I find the strength to torture myself into actually writing a full post about that whole vampire monster pregnancy. Maybe. When I am really drunk. We’ll see.)

Now the wedding. Yeah I know you’ve all been waiting for this one. Gotta say I really love Bella’s wedding style, the make-up, the hair, the veil. Very nice! Even though I am not sure if we don’t get to see the dress cause it’s a) a big surprise for the actual premiere or b) cause there was another Anne of the Green Gables flashback fiasco… Also if the wedding is actually taking place in the Cullens’ garden and not in a forest clearing then they sure as hell grew a lot of trees super fast. Cause this looks like a JUNGLE more then like the nice garden wedding I imagined but it’s cool nevertheless. Whatever keeps Edward from outsparkling the bride hahaha.

Okay now the honeymoon / breaking headboard part. I have no idea how millions of girls (including me at some point) got deluded into thinking this would be hot. Cause it’s not. And the trailer proves it. I saw it and was like WTF!? I mean come on, seriously! A guy actually breaking your headboard into a million pieces while having sex with you is NOT awesome. It’s violent and scary and you will have to buy a new matress cause there will be wood pieces stuck into your old one plus you have to get a new headboard and everything. Okay maybe this is too practical. But seriously, if there would be someone in my bed pulling a stunt like this I’d expect him to pull out a gun next and try to rob and then shoot me. Just saying. I know guys that got tricks way more awesome then breaking headboards. Just saying. Also call me if you want me to hook you up with one of them. Seriously, do it! Also I am a little scared that waterfall sex-scene might come over a little awkward rather than sexy but we’ll see…

Also Edward throwing Jacob into that picture? AWE-SOME! Perfect ending!

So overall I think we can say that this was the least exciting trailer ever if you haven’t read the book cause it doesn’t have the slightest hint of an actual plot. Not that there is too much of that in Breaking Dawn anyways. Which is why I’m a bit worried about the whole splitting it into two movies thing. But more on that another time. I know it’s the trailer a lot of you looked forward to most though cause of all the wedding, honeymoon, sex part so feel free to watch it over and over again while you’re actually supposed to work. It’s fine, I won’t blame you. I am writing a Twilight themed blog post while I’m supposed to get important college stuff done so yeah…

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Off to check how many days till November 18th so that we can start this countdown!

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(video: YouTube)

Thanks Kiyokamori and F_Muse! We love presents! Especially ones we didn't expect!

Sometimes dudettes try to send me Christmas presents but forget to fill out the customs content declaration so I have to pick the package up at our local customs office. And open it there in front of a customs guy. You know just so they can see I didn’t get heroin or random other drugs all wrapped up nicely in a package. So I go there and the nice young customs guy politely asks me to open it and hands me a cutter. And I feel cool for receiving another present from even another continent. And I obliviously open it with my I am so awesome I even got friends all over the world that send me xmas presents face. And then BAM I see THIS:

Yep, I kinda had a Harry Clearwater style heart attack right in front of the customs guy. Only internally of course. On the outside I was smiling and saying “Oh yay, pretty cool shower stuff. Awesome!” The moment your secret Twi-addict-life lies there all out in the open between you and a customs guy? Awkwardness! The moment you relize you have a friend on another continent that simply “gets” you and gave you the best and most hilarious because oh so fitting Christmas present? Priceless! So yeah dear Chelle, thanks for the nice surprise! Literally! Haha. I’ll recover from the embarrassment shock again someday. I think. Maybe. In a hundred years or so.

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Just kidding. The customs guy had no idea what Twilight is. Unbelievable, right? He has been living under a rock the last five years or so, haha.

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Have you been Twilight embarrassed in public lately? Have you been unlucky enough to get a better informed customs guy who immediately knew why you ordered the “Sparkle Dildo”? Oh yes that really exists. Don’t ask how I know that…seriously. Just don’t. And no, I DON’T own one. Kthxbye.

(images: all taken by me; presents: all thanks to the dudettes)

Uhm yeah, whatever. I’ll try to not make all those million jokes that come to my mind right now… you know about being young and needing the money. Or obviously being jealous of Ashley Greene and her Skinsuits. Or trying to seduce Edward cause if Bella can than so can Angela. So while I’m not making all those jokes, wanna hear another story instead? Like how one of the dudettes embarrassed me to death in front of a customs guy? Yes? Alright then check back again later this week! I bet you’re gonna laugh your ass off. I would have if I hadn’t been so embarrassed…

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Off to get my black lace leotard out to try and seduce Edward Angela Weber style

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Seriously, have you missed me as much as I have missed blogging? What super awesome stuff did I miss that I should blog about? Or are you new here and just wanna say hello? Whatever it is, leave a comment or e-mail me!

(images: Twicrackaddict)

Then all hell broke loose, Twitter crashed, facebook went down and the Twihards even were close to breaking Google because hello, it’s Rob wearing nothing but his undies. Plus he has obviously worked out a bit and shaved part of his man fur. I might even go as far as to say that might have been the hottest shirtless Rob ever. And because OF COURSE you cannot let an opportunity like this pass unnoticed and because the HTD dudettes rule, our super special agent Alkonyat (remember, she’s the one who became my hero for catching a vid of Rob RUNNING!) made the following pieces of awesomeness:

Yep, Rob likes Greenday

Rob also likes himself in Bel Ami... Honestly, how brilliant would it have been if this pic was real?

BEST THING EVER! SERIOUSLY! EPIC EPICNESS! YES I'M WRITING ALL CAPS ON PURPOSE!

This one's for you Zelda! Cause yes, you might not have known it Alkonyat but Zelda and I are Star Wars nerds. WIN!

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Off to getting well again so I can blog about all that Isle Esme business

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If you feel inspired and wanna get creative with jumping Rob or random other stuff that leaked from the Breaking Dawn filming, whatever it is, send it over!

(images: Thanks to HTD dudette Alkonyat who made my day by allowing me to post these. Love you!)

Year two might become a difficult one for us here on HTD. Cause while we had both New Moon and Eclipse coming out in year one, there will be no -I repeat NO- new Twilight movie in the next twelve months. Yep, Breaking Dawn won’t be released until November 2011. I know. That sucks. Nevertheless, to end the HTD anniversary week I decided to make a list with stuff to look forward to during the next year. You know, to cheer me up during hard months where there is absolutely NO Twi-News whatsoever. Except if you count someone spotting beardy Rob at a Mc Donald’s drive through. Which I don’t. So here comes the list!

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Top Ten Awesomeness we hope to blog about soon

1.) Stephenie Meyer publishing Midnight Sun

2.) Pictures of Kristen wearing a fake baby bump on the BD set

3.) Pictures of Kristen wearing a fake baby bump while taking a smoke break on the BD set. Epic! Mothers all over the world will freak out. So much drama potential! Haha, EPIC!

4.) Stephenie Meyer’s recently fired cleaning lady taking revenge by leaking the COMPLETE Midnight Sun file on the internet

5.) A HUGE picture leak from the Isle Esme set. You know, like those evil forbidden Eclipse stills we posted back in the day. Yep, I will be just as happy to put evil forbidden Isle Esme pics up here, promise!

6.) The Breaking Dawn press tour. I mean honestly, what would be more hilarious than hearing Rob talk about knocking Kristen up or Taylor trying to explain why it is not weird to fall in love with a baby. (Hint: It IS weird, no matter what he will say!)

7.) Fake engagement and wedding pics of Kristen and Rob. Oh I can just imagine the awesome “journalistic” articles that will get published along with those pics. Right OK! mag, People Magazine and all your other friends?

8.) Pictures of Kristen as Bella wearing an absolutely DAZZLING wedding dress. I mean come on, we were already MAJORLY disappointed when it came to that ugly engagement ring. We NEED that dress to be STUNNING!

9.) The official Robsten sex-tape leaked right after they leave Brasil. Come on dear maids at their hotel right now, you can make it happen!

10.) Secret surprise project I’m currently working on. Can’t talk about it yet but I hope it will blow your minds once it’s ready to go public. Just you wait!

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See? There might not be another Twilight movie for the next 12 months but that doesn’t mean I can’t come up with stuff to write about! It’s gonna be EPIC!

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Off to wait for the Midnight Sun leak

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Wanna join us? Well then just give us a call and we’ll send over Edward with his speedboat to come and pick you up! (Haha, more Edward speedboat hotness later this week. You will DIE!) Or just contact us via our super dazzling new phones since Zelda and I both recently joined the wonderful world of the smartphones! YAY! (Yes I know we’re a little behind on stuff but just be ridiculously happy nevertheless. Cause we most definitely are! Ha!)

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Off to start a pillow fight with Edward ifyouknowwhatimean

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(image: Google, modified by me)

Real posts coming up this week as well! But because I always get sentimental and talk about how much all those people I met online because of the blog mean to me, I decided to post a special list today. Check it out!

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Stuff the dudettes and other frequent blog readers but no one in my real life knows about me

1. That I run a Twilight-Blog. Or any blog at all.

2. That I have a fake name. Or a whole fake internet life.

3. That if they would look into my “important work documents” folder they would find stuff WAY more interesting than boring work documents.

4. That I (or rather Blufish27) nicknamed the guy I’m currently going out with fireboy. (Honestly, that was just BRILLIANT! And he has no idea about it. One day ten years from now I’ll tell him and we’ll laugh our asses off. Ha!)

5. That this blog is what so much of my online time went into and NOT in having cybersex with creepy 50 year old business men. (Yep, there was one time when my dad hinted he suspected me of actually doing that. I kid you not.)

6. That I’m some kind of Twilight addict. (Yep, I always try to hide that fact. Don’t judge me. I’m scared everyone might think I’m one of those crazy fangirls…)

7. That Zelda is my internet wife. Ha! Best fake lesbian internet couple ever, right?

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This list could go on and on forever but I thought since 7 is a magical number I’d just stop there. Either that or I had to hurry up and get ready for a date with fireboy.

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Off to party with bday Rob! Isn’t he insanely sexy with those glasses?

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(image: Google, majorly modified by me)