Overdue since July: the Eclipse Review

Gosh, just writing down that headline makes me realize how much I failed at blogging lately… Actually I plan on making a top as well as a flop ten list for Eclipse just like we did with New Moon cause I thought that was a pretty cool idea. There are a few general thoughts though that probably won’t make it into any of those lists but still have to be mentioned so I decided they get their own post. Here we go!

I didn’t really like Eclipse. There, I said it. Now you can go and hate on me. I don’t care. It’s my opinion and I’m not gonna take it back. I mentioned it about a million times back in the day that I was neither as excited nor as hyped up for Eclipse as I was for New Moon. That’s not what I’m talking about here though.

Eclipse - Welcome to the land of bad wigs and general awkwardness

About a week ago I watched Eclipse again cause I thought maybe I just had missed all the awesomeness the first time. I hadn’t. I mean, I DID realize some really good stuff (like all the little Alice and Jasper moments) but all in all that movie is just full of awkwardness and out of character moments. More about those in the flop ten list! In general I would say I just didn’t get the Eclipse feeling. (Yep Kiyoka, I agree with you on that one!) Of course this is a movie and it’s only natural it can’t be EXACTLY like the book but I felt like all my favorite scenes had been left out or changed and all the annoying and bad ones had been left in the script. I mean HELLO? NO ALICE KIDNAPS BELLA SCENE? No completely what the heck Edward bribed her with a yellow Porsche moment? FAIL!!! And that’s just one of many more examples. I can live with lots of changes. Edward’s Volvo is charcoal instead of silver? Fine. Angela dates Eric instead of Ben? Alright. Everyone of the vampires has a totally different haircut and color in each of the movies? Oh well. None of that ruined it for me. As I said I just didn’t get the Eclipse feeling like I should have. Remember reading it for the first time? What was it like for you? When I think back the following thing come to my mind: romantic overload, sexy make-out scenes (hello there leg hitch!), oh no he dihin’t, oh so sweet, fight scenes, oh no she dihin’t, most romantic thing EVER, I want Edward as my bf, I love the Cullens, backstories FTW, Victoria ROCKS as an enemy. Yeah, I know that were just random words but that’s how my feelings develop usually. In a random chain of single words that are a complete mess. Haha, sorry. But if you know me that shouldn’t really surprise you. If I made a thought chain for Eclipse the movie it would probably look something like this: Oh no they dihin’t leave that out, OMG the wigs, SO unrealistic Bella, as if you would ever do that, OMG the wigs, since when do I want to do NEITHER Edward NOR Jacob, awkwardness to the max, gosh I think I might fall asleep soon, cheesiness overload, OMG the wigs, who the heck said KStew could act, awkwardness to the max, so not excited. Kinda sad, right? Please don’t hate on me though. Or at least not until you’ve read the top and flop ten lists next week. Cause yes, there WERE things that I liked after all!

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Eclipse the book, our love stays untarnished forever!

Soul

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PS: Chelle, I know you’ve been DYING to read my review ever since July. I’m honestly sorry I kept you waiting that long girl. So I’ll post the top and flop ten list next week. Plus they might include some of the “special secret information” you passed on to me concerning the Bella eyebrows!

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What were your Eclipse thoughts? Has your first impression changed after watching it again a while later? We wanna know about it! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

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Bella, are you a Videogame Princess?

Remember my fantabulous birthday special here on the blog aka the best post ever? Hint: If the answer is no, run off immediately as fast and as far as you can cause I might seriously kick your ass! Just kidding… or maybe not. Obviously everyone here on the blog was so dazzled by Zelda’s piece of awesomeness that no one notice who did NOT get a bday post. Cause yes, fun fact (just in case you haven’t checked out our “About” page yet) I share a birthday with Bella Swan.

Hello there fellow bday boy and childhood hero!

And Super Mario. Yep, the videogame hero. Only he is a bit older than I am but still we share a bday. How cool is that, right? Especially since Zelda and I were Super Mario fangirls pretty much since elementary school. Cause yes, we were videogame nerds. I mean, not real nerds cause we still had friends and rode our bicycles and went to the playground and stuff instead of being the cliche pale, friendless weirdos that hang out in front of a computer all day but we also loved a good Gameboy game.
Funny thing is that it wasn’t some cool rich kid but in fact Mama Soul herself who introduced me to Super Mario World back in the day. Yep, Mama Soul is cool! But you already know that and we’re getting a little off topic here. So while I watched a Super Mario birthday special instead of all those fanmade “Happy bday Bella” YouTube videos it suddenly hit me. OMG, Bella is such a videogame princess!

Oops, I got kidnapped again for the 245th time...

Before anyone starts objecting now let’s analyse this. The only purpose of people like Princess Peach or Princess Zelda is to get in trouble so that the actual hero can come along and rescue them. Doesn’t sound like Bella yet? Let’s see… She almost gets hit by Tyler’s van, Edward comes and saves her. She’s hunted by James, Edward comes and saves her. Jasper attacks her, Edward comes and saves her. She hits her head on a stone in the attempt to ride a motorcycle, Jacob takes his shirt off and comes to save her. She fails at cliff diving, Jacob takes his shirt off and comes to save her. She meets the Volturi who basically want to eat and kill her, Edward and Alice come and save her. And that are only the first two books.

Do you like my hair? Oh and can you rescue me please?

See a pattern there? Agree with me now? Bella is pretty much like Kate in “LOST”. Everyone thinks she’s hot and brave but in the end she always fucks up and gets everyone in trouble needing to be rescued. Bella IS a videogame princess after all! You know what happens to those princesses? You get annoyed by them! You start wondering where’s the sense in saving them if all they do is get in trouble again five seconds later. That’s the point where I always turned off the gameboy and thought “Oh what the heck, go to hell. You got into that stupid shit, no see how you get out again.” Just a little advice Bella. Cause you know, one day Edward might get annoyed and bored by playing the hero and turn off his gameboy as well…
(Yep, that was totally a That’s What She Said sentence.)

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Off to NOT get in trouble in order to NOT need to be saved

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Anyone of you having sweet memories of playing Super Mario games? How awesome is it that I share a bday with him? Oh and with Bella as well. I’m a bday winner obviously Where you ever annoyed by Bella when you read the Twilight series? And am I right or what about that videogame princess theory? Also how do you think Bella would look like wearing Princess Peach’s dress? Leave a comment or e-mail me! Also did you notice I totally gave away where Zelda has her fake-name from?

(images: Google)

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I didn’t care about Heidi… until she started hanging out with Justin

Remember Nott Seear? Probably not. I didn’t either. She was the one who played Heidi in New Moon. You know, the one who brings in all those delicious humans just as Bella, Edward and Alice are about to leave the Volturi. Just in case you don’t remember that either. I won’t blame you if you don’t cause Heidi is approximately as important as Bree. Oh no, wait. Bad example, that little girl got a whole book of her own… Oh whatever. What I’m trying to say is I didn’t care about Heidi or Noot at all. Until she started hanging out with Justin Timberlake. In Paris. At the Eiffeltower. By night. And now I’m jealous.

Honestly Givenchy? The Eiffeltower illuminated by night? One of my favorite spots on this earth? Plus Justin Timberlake? One of my favorite guys on earth? (Yes, I even think he is hotter than Rob!) I would take him as my fake boyfriend any day! Next time just give me a call, k? Cause I can run in high-heels as well. Plus I look unbelievably beautiful right next to the Eiffeltower. Or Justin. Or both. Just saying.

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Off to give Justin a call and ask him to meet me in Paris

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(video: YouTube)

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Hey Bella, let’s renew our friendship

* No, this is still not the Eclipse review. I promise to post it soon but I’ve only seen the movie once so far and that is definitely not enough to write a full post of awesomeness. So just hold out a little longer while I gotta talk to Bella. *

Hey Bella, remember how I used to give you a hard time and call you dumb and annoying? That must have been around my third read through Twilight I think. The first two times I was still in “OMG, this girl is just like me” mode as most of us have probably been. But then for some reason you started going on my nerves with your being bothered by everything attitude and random crap like stopping to breathe for a full 3 minutes each time Edward would walk by you. So what I really wanna say is I might have to take part of that back. Cause lately I kinda “get you” in most scenes. Stupid, silly behaviour? Smiling to your self all the time? The jitters and that electric feeling everytime that special someone walks towards you? Yep, I get it. It all comes back to me now.

What do you think are the chances of Bella Facebook stalking Edward?

I can understand why you do certain things even though they seem really dumb. Like let’s say stalking someone on facebook and reading every single entry on his wall in the history of forever aka back to the day he joined facebook. Oh no wait, that wasn’t you. Edward doesn’t even have facebook. I would know cause he would’ve told me. Oh whatever, you get my point. So Bella, what do you think? Can we go back to our old friendship from back in the days before I started getting annoyed? Can we restore what we once had? I promise not to make that much fun of you anymore! Except maybe about that one scene where Edward kisses you and you become unconscious. I mean seriously? Unconscious? That’s just plain stupid cause that way you miss all the brilliancy of a true Edward kiss. That WAS ridiculous! But other than that I swear we could be real good friends. You know, we could go out shopping with Alice and stuff. Aw, wait, I forgot shopping bothers you. What about going to a party together then? Hm, no you don’t like that either. I guess we could find something to do together though. In case we can’t come up with anything else we could just hang out at the Cullens’. I’d be cool with that you know…

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Your renewed BFF for life

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What about you? How is your friendship with Bella going? Does she annoy you? Is she your favorite homegirl? Did you wane in her love for her? Tell us about it via comment or e-mail!

(image: google)

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Top ten lists back in action aka stuff we are excited to see in Eclipse

Guess what I found in that dusty back corner of our blog where we like to hide series we once started and then forgot about. Yep, top ten lists. In fact I used to be pretty good at putting those together and I thought maybe I should go back to it and make a list full of stuff I really want to see when I watch Eclipse for the first time. Now here comes the list!

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Top ten things I want to see during Eclipse

Jump up on your seat NOW!

1.) Some insane Jacob-worshipping girl jumping up on her seat and yelling “TEAM JACOB” during the Bella and Jacob kiss.

2.) Above mentioned girl getting slapped in the face by some Team Edward Twihard yelling “FACEPUNCH” (Haha, that would already be two of the things on my stuff to yell during Eclipse list. WIN!)

3.) The scene where Alice kidnaps Bella. (Yeah, I KNOW that scene doesn’t exist in the movie. I want to see it anyway though so I put it on the list. Just in case. )

4.) The leg hitch. Always the leg hitch.

5.) A wolfpack nude scene. (Honestly, they cannot ALWAYS get their jorts out in time! )

6.) The Edward and Jacob fight scene. (Everytime I watch it on YouTube I hope that this time Charlie will NOT come out in time and they will start a REAL fight.)

Time to kick ass, Carlisle!

7.) The Cullens fighting the Newborns. (I wanna see Daddy Carlisle and Esme kick some vampire asses so bad!)

8.) The Jasper flashback. (Yep, that would actually have been Zelda’s thing to say but it’s true. I too wanna see southern soldier Jasper Whitlock on a horse.)

9.) Howard Shore’s score. (Say what you want, call me lame, I don’t care! You should know by now I have a composer crush on Howard.)

10.) The tent scene. (Because I know I’ll receive at least 963 hate comments within 2 minutes if I don’t put that on the list as well…)

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Top ten lists are back in town y’all!

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What were you excited for when you went to see Eclipse? Did anyone jump up and then get punched in the face while you were in the cinema? Let me know! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Eclipsemovie.org)

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What if Eclipse does NOT dazzle me?

Nope, I still haven’t seen Eclipse yet. But HTD dudette Kiyokamori did. Then she live text messaged me while watching it informing me about stuff like “Leg hitch, be jealous” or “tent scene on NOW”. I was pretty busy being all jealous and excited and stuff. That was before I got her full review though. She rated it four out of ten. FOUR OUT OF TEN? That’s not even 50%! She said the feeling just wasn’t right. I thought about it and I gotta say I kinda agree. If she’s right that is. What if Eclipse is super exciting and well-done and all but I just don’t get the Eclipse feeling that the book gives me? Would I be disappointed? Hell yes! That doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t like the movie. It can still be entertaining, funny, exciting or whatever. But it won’t really be Eclipse.

Screw Skinsuits! Give me my Eclipse feeling!

Let’s face it: I didn’t count it but I guess 80% of our posts refer to the movies only and have nothing whatsoever to do with the books at all. I talked so much about Taylor Lautner’s abs, Kellan’s Calvins and Ashley’s Skinsuits that sometimes I got the feeling I forget why I started it all. When I first read Eclipse it wasn’t really about the fight. Or the Newborns. No! It was kinda retro and romantic and hilarious. My favorite book in the series. We had Edward’s oldfashioned proposal, the leg hitch, the moment when Bella realizes Edward bought a bed just for her, one of my favy parts ever where Alice kidnaps Bella because Edward bribed her with the yellow Porsche… There were TONS of highlights! At least twice as many as in New Moon or Twilight. I don’t want to be prejudiced, but I don’t think they will be able to give me my Eclipse feeling. And it kinda makes me sad. Remember I still haven’t seen the movie, so this is only judging by the clips and trailers and first reviews from Kiyokamori, F_Muse and cdubs. It seems though they made it all about the Newborns, fighting, about Bella being caught between her love for Jacob as well as Edward. Which is WRONG! That is NOT what Eclipse is about! At all! Plus from the moment you read the meadow scene for the very first time EVERYONE KNOWS Bella and Edward will end up together. THERE IS NO CHOICE! Alright alright, maybe I should try to manage my expectations a bit before I completely lose my shit in the cinema. Maybe I should just take the Eclipse movie as what it is (a probably pretty enjoyable movie in a huge franchise) and then go back home to read Eclipse the book to get the RIGHT feeling back again. With all my favorite scenes. Cause I SWEAR, if I could marry the moment where Alice says Edward got her the Porsche, I would! (Name where I got that slightly altered quote from and you win a fake prize!)

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Off to STILL not watch Eclipse

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What about you? What were your Eclipse expectations? What were the highs and lows? Were any of your favorite scenes missing? Give us your review via comment or e-mail!

(images: Google)

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Eclipse Quote Game round 3

Are you ready for yet another post where I take a random Eclipse quote and make up a story to go with it? No? What a pity, cause I’m going to do it anyway! This is one Bella says to Edward.

I know you know what she saw!

According to me, this is Bella’s reaction in following situations:

• after she realizes Leah Clearwater showed Edward memories of Jacob and Paul making out in the woods in their wolf-form.
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  Dear Edward, would you go gay for this hot piece of man-meat?

  to Edward getting to see thought-flashback of Victoria and Riley getting it on. She’s probably scared Edward might become gay. Cause you know, that Riley-guy IS hot as hell!

• when she realizes Edward read Alice’s mind right at the moment where she was thinking about helping Bella shower after the James-incident. Seems Edward is NOT that innocent after all…

Will Edward become gay and spare Riley? Will the two of them spend a wonderful vacation on Isle Esme together? Will they make fun of the wolves for the rest of their lives? And will Bella leave Edward and disengage herself after finding out he secretly spied Alice thoughts just so he could catch a glimpse at naked Bella? There’s only one way to find out! Watch Eclipse to see where they REALLY used that quote!

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Now keep those quotes coming

Soul

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I know this is a super short post. But I promise they will become way longer and more exciting as we get closer to the day that Zelda and I will FINALLY watch Eclipse together! I promise to make a larger post every few days though over the next ten days! Have you already seen Eclipse? How did you like it? Plus don’t forget to send in quotes! Just Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(image: Google)

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Eclipse Quote Game round 2

You probably already noticed it but I’ll say it out loud now just so it’s official. During the upcoming almost two weeks, our posts will be shorter and less awesome than what usual. Mainly because I feel like I’m the only person in the world who hasn’t seen Eclipse yet. And because I know you are all so excited to hear me talking about it. Plus why waste super amazing posts on readers who don’t really care at the moment because all they wanna hear about is Eclipse? Nevertheless there will be a little something everyday here waiting for you and as soon as I get out of the cinema we’ll make a huge party with tons of uber fantastic posts for weeks on end. Or something like that… Now off to round two of our Eclipse quote game! This one comes from Bella!

That ship’s sailed long ago.

Okay, I said I’d make up three different answers each time. This time I only got one though, but since it’s the ULTIMATE answer it counts tenfold! Hey, don’t complain, this is my blog so I get to make all the rules here!

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  Jacob and Bella's secret wedding

  Edward tries to get Bella to finally say yes to marrying him by describing their wedding night. In detail. (Oh yes, Edward is vicious clever like that!) That is when Bella says above mentioned sentence and BAM… we get to see a New Moon flashback back from the days when Edward was MIA. This flashback includes: Bella and Jake flying to Vegas, getting the most ridiculous wedding clothes ever, a fake Elvis to marry them while Jacob performs backflips on the altar, pics of the newlyweds bowling in the Hard Rock Hotel penthouse suite, a view of the GIGANTIC super comfy bed in there plus fade to black.

See, I always knew they had gotten it on SOMETIME during New Moon! Alright, don’t freak out. I was just kidding, okay!? But you gotta admit it would be kind of a huge surprise moment. And kind of brilliant. I bet no one would have seen that one coming… Not even Alice!

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Off to check if Edward wants to take me to Vegas in revenge

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Any other new Eclipse quotes I can make up stuff about without having seen the movie? Keep them coming! Leave a comment or e-mail me!

(image: Google)

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Let the Eclipse quote posts begin

Okay, I’m over my trailer trauma from yesterday. We can go back to normal now. Or no, wait! We can’t! Because half of you have probably already seen Eclipse by now while I still have to wait almost two weeks. (Don’t ask, I’m still pissed I can’t make it sooner…) Fortunately I have several of our good old top ten list posts prepared. All Eclipse themed of course. And I gotta say they pretty much rule. Plus remember when I said I want all of you who’ve already seen the movie to send in random quotes and then I’ll make up a post about them and it will be awesome? Well, the number of quotes I’ve so far received from readers is… zero! I was serious when I said that! Send me quotes! You might win a fake prize! So to get you all going I decided to keep the top ten lists for another day and start with a quote post. Since no one of you sent me something I had to look one up on Twitter. So if this is not an actual quote and maybe doesn’t even show up in the movie at all… blame the Twitter people! Or Summit (you know, not because it’s their fault, but because I simply love to blame them for pretty much everything ). Alright now, here comes the quote straight from Twitter Bella:

I’ll be there. And I’ll hate every minute of it. Promise.

To be honest, I think I might know where this one comes in. So let’s just ignore the obvious and think of some other scenes where Mel Rosenberg could have included this one. Shouldn’t be too hard considering that it is about Bella hating something. I mean, Bella pretty much hates everything. It’s part of her lifestyle, remember?

• Alice picked out super awesome designer clothes to wear during graduation and wants Bella to come over and try them on and OF COURSE Bella is bothered by that. Cause she’s insane. Just saying…
• The wolfpack wants her to join in their next cliff diving party so she pretends to hate to come over so they don’t get suspicious when in reality she’s checking their abs out for three hours straight.
• Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie and Tyler Crowley invited Bella to be the first one to ever see their version of a Chippendales show.

See, three scenes where it would make perfect sense for Bella to say that quote. Cause who would NOT be bothered by designer clothes or hot shirtless guys? The Mike Newton Chippendales thing is something completely different though… Bahaha, in fact I’m liking that idea better and better. Melissa Rosenberg should so have included that. You know this would for sure have been the highlight of the whole movie! Who would care about the leg hitch, the proposal or the tent scene if we could have Mike performing his best Chippendales moves? Yeah, I thought so too!

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And now, keep those Eclipse quotes coming!

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Which of those three possibilities is your favorite? And have you seen Eclipse yet? I really want you to send in quotes for me to blog about so don’t hesitate and just DO IT! Plus what is your opinion on the Eclipse movie? Good? Bad? Did they leave out your favorite part like they did with mine? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(quote: via Twitter)

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Super awesome post of Randomness

I don’t know if  anyone else noticed, but we’re a little behind on stuff here on the blog. The Eclipse red carpet premiere takes place in two days, the real premiere is in only eight days and I was where with my re-reading Elipse series? Chapter two I think? Awesome. But it’s not just that! I got an awful lot of other stuff store in my “things to post soon” folder. Basically that folder got way out of control a long time ago. So today I’m gonna clear that out a bit in order to get us back on track here. Aka getting prepared for Eclipse premiere craziness. So now enjoy random miniature post all put together into one!

Dear crazy people going to Eclipse Con, sometimes you make me feel oh so 2nd-hand-embarrassed for you. There’s a costume competition, alright, I get it. But couldn’t you choose a at least remotely decent look? Like the girl that dressed up as KStew at the MTV Movie Awards? Do you always have to go for the most weird, awkward, fandom-embarrassing things? Yep, I guess you do. Bella covered in blood wearing a torn silk dress? Wouldn’t have prom Bella been enough? Oh whatevs, here dear blog friends, look at the pics and have a laugh. Or start crying. Might depend on your 2nd-hand-embarassment tolerance level. Ya have been warned!

Uhm yeah, let’s forget this ever happened! On to the next thing! And what would be better to get this out of your head than new pics of hot Twiguys? Alright, Isle Esme time with Edward maybe but I can’t give you that so… here come the pics instead!

Hello there Kellan’s abs! Not bad. In fact I think Kellan should run around shirtless far more often. Plus those jeans are UBER low! Also thumbs up for the article right next to Kellan’s man-boobs saying “Sex so good… the neighbors will complain”. That is NOT a coincidence! So we got a sporty, sexy Kellan pic and… an awkward one of Charlie Bewley. You know, that guy who plays Demetri. Who takes pics like that one? It looks as if he’s got no neck at all and kinda old lady boobs cause they’re hanging waaay down. Also no abs? And while he has a pretty good V I think he pushed himself up a little tooooo far on that pool edge. Right to the point where it goes from sexy to awkwardly almost-vulgar. This pic looks SO porn-like! I’d rather take Kellan! That is all I’m saying.

Now to the next thing! The Eclipse line has started! There are about 900 people already, the security guys got there fisrt anxiety attacks due to the constant onflow of fangirls and the amount of tents that are 4.1×4.1 and thus violate the Summit laws of lameness. (Uhm, just a little sidenote to you Summit people: Did you know that 4×4 tents are used to grow pot??? And not to sleep in??? Thanks to cdubs aka the Google Queen for passing on that knowledge to me!) So here are some of the first pics, all found on Twitter. Also thumbs up for that confessional yes we ARE here for that sparkly vampire movie sign! Fangirl power!

Now to the thing that has been so heavy on my hard. I gotta confess it to all of you. I failed as a Twi-blogger. I *GASP* forgot Edward’s birthday. There, it’s out now. But even worse: I don’t really care. I mean, where the eff do people know from when Edward’s birthday is? I read all four books three times and I’m pretty sure it’s not in there. Right? RIGHT??? SO is it in Midnight Sun? I’ve only read that once so I got a pretty good excuse for not remembering every tiny detail. But still… Sorry Edward! I promise to make up for it. During our next trip to Isle Soul!

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Off to not get into the Eclipse line (sorry gals)

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So what other random news did I forget to post here? Are you waiting in line already? Wanna tweet me pics? PLEASE DO! And if you’re not, then you can still leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Twitter)

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