While everyone waits for Eclipse, Melissa Rosenberg talks about Breaking Dawn

Before I get you all super excited for the Eclipse red carpet premiere tomorrow, let’s have a look at what Melissa Rosenberg said a few days ago about Breaking Dawn. No idea if she talks about part one or two, but it includes sex scenes so that’s a win no matter which way you put it! As per usual comments by me are in turquoise. Mel’s real statement is in dark red. You know, cause she talks about blood and making love and stuff so I thought red kinda fits…

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Hi y’all! Not sure where some of you got the impression I intended to leave birth scene out of Breaking Dawn, (Uhm, no idea. Wishful thinking maybe?) but it’s inaccurate. (Damn! What a bummer! I hoped they might just leave out Renesmee completely) Of course the birth scene will be in there! And the sex scenes! (YAY! WIN! Down with fade to black! This woman knows what we want! Sex-scenes FTW!) And the feathers! And the blood! Perhaps you misinterpreted what I said about not needing to see BUCKETS of blood in order to convey the terror of the birth scene. (What? No buckets of blood? Why not? I so hoped we would get to see Bella vomiting FOUNTAINS of blood just like it’s described in the book! Now I’m So disappointed *please love how sarcastic I am*) But rest easy all!

xoxo Mel

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Oh, just in case you have no idea who the eff Melissa Rosenberg is (Hi there Zelda ) she’s the screenplay-writer. You know, the one who came up with that famous “Purple’s cool” line. Not with the spider-monkey one though. That one we can still blame on Cathy Hardi. Also just in case you didn’t know that either, Mel Mel (as I lovingly call her) was the screenplay-writer for The OC! Aw, I loved that series so much! And it was WELL written! So much Ryan and Seth magic moments of hilariousness. And Sandy! I always kinda wanted him to be my dad (Sorry Papa Soul, but it’s true!). Any other nostalgic OC fangirls out there? Any haters? Say what you want but that series was damn well written! Thumbs up for that one Melissa. I know Breaking Dawn is probably a little trickier though. Not that Julie Cooper couldn’t absolutely keep up with Jane from the Volturi, that’s not the problem. It’s rather all that awkward stuff like let’s say… a demon half-vampire baby ripping Bella apart from the inside. Or basically just the baby itself.

Wait! We won't get to see a demon baby ripping Bella apart?

So if in doubt, simply leave out the pregnancy completely. Just give us a wedding plus Isle Esme sexy times for the first 90 minutes, then 30 minutes of vampire wolfpack bonding plus the appearance of the Volturi (simply pretend they showed up to check if Bella was still human) and then at the end Edward finally giving in and changing Bella. Properly. And not by unceremoniously plunging a syringe all the way into her heart. Cause that is NOT romantic. Or sexy. Or whatever. I liked your statement Mel, but just consider my awesome solution. I bet no one would complain if you took the freedom to make a few little changes. Cause NO ONE would miss Renesmee. Okay well, there might be a few insane Twimoms comitting suicide cause they named their children Renesmee and now she doesn’t even show up in the movie, but whatever. You can’t satisfie everyone (TWSS) so… PRIORITIES! Kthxbye.

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Off to watch the first season of The OC again

Soul

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Are you an OC fangirl just like me? Who was your favorite? Ryan or Seth? What about Melissa’s statement? Do you love that she promised us sex-scenes? What do you expect from Breaking Dawn? Do you think my new improved storyline is much better than Steph’s version? (Hint: IT IS!) Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(image: Google, once found by my wonderful internet wife Zelda)

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How Summit beat me at being funny

Dear Summit, you rule. In a you write stuff so funny it’s better than any of my posts way. Only I think you were actually serious when you wrote this. And NOT kidding, as you should have been. To all our dear readers, before you get all confused, here is what I’m talking about: Summit released a few guidelines for camping in line for the Eclipse red carpet premiere which will take place on June 24th. Here they are:

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THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE Premiere – Fan Line and Camping

TWILIGHT Fans are allowed to begin lining up at NOKIA PLAZA L.A. LIVE no earlier than 6:00 am on Monday, June 21, 2010.

Overnight camping is allowed in designated areas only, starting in the Nokia Plaza. Please follow all directions advised by L.A. LIVE and Summit security. Please note, that special wristbands will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis and each fan must be present to receive a wristband. Each wristband will be numbered and reserves a space in the Fan Viewing areas for the Eclipse Red-Carpet arrivals in sequential order. The wristbands DO NOT enable access to the Movie Premiere.

Fans will be asked to change location as Premiere set-up begins on the Nokia Plaza on Wednesday morning June 23rd at 6:00am.

PARTIAL LIST OF RULES AND CODES OF CONDUCT:

– ONLY Standard Sized Pop Tents will be allowed
- 4×4 (16 sq. ft.) or less. No oversized tents, staked tents, etc due to limited space
– ABSOLUTELY No Drugs or Alcohol allowed on premises
– No Cooking On-Site or open flame
– No amplified music. All music devices must be used with headset or earphone
– Smoking in Designated Areas Only outside of the NOKIA Plaza boundaries
– Fans are responsible for their own property. LA Live, AEG, nor Summit is responsible for any lost or stolen items
– Everyone must please pick up after themselves. A fine will be enforced for anyone who litters on Nokia or LA City property
– Please only use the restrooms designated for fans and respect the other area businesses
– Guests must follow the rules and directions of L.A. LIVE Management/Summit Security at all times

THANK YOU for your cooperation and adherence to the above to help ensure a safe and entertaining experience for everyone!

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Oh Summit, when it comes to being a poor sport, you win. Always. Only super tiny tents not even David Slade the almost-Hobbit would fit in comfortably, no barbeques, no smoking, no alcohol, no loud music… You know how to spoil a party! What next? No Edward cut-outs to protect you from all the ganstas out there? No handcrafted signs? No bedazzled “I love Edward’s sparklepeen” shirts? Come on, you simply can’t be serious with that! I’m not one of the countless fans who will camp out there and I admit that there might be quite a few crazy ones among them. But honestly? There ARE some normal, dedicated fangirls of Stephenie Meyer’s book series and Rob and Taylor and all the other hot guys who take days off of work and make FANTABULOUS because funny as hell signs and would probably camp there for two weeks straight if necessary. Quite a couple of the girls out there RULE! And instead of going there and distributing bottles of the Eclipse Vitamin Water (you know, the one with that super awful ad) or Team Edward and Team Jacob Burger King Crowns or whatever else it is that you make money with these days you give them… a catalogue full of mostly narrow-minded, stupid guidelines. Brilliant. You will never get it right, will you?

Get them THIS!

If stars like Alex Meraz and Peter Facinelli take the time to visit the line and get hugged by girls who haven’t showered in 9 days straight, why can’t you be at least a LITTLE bit nicer to them? Next time contact me for help with the camping line. I know what to do. I would even help you out without getting paid for it. THAT is dedication, huh? You better get a bunch of Twilight special edition Nintendo DS packs including the Twilight game cause those girls out there gotta do SOMETHING if they’re not allowed to party properly!

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Off to kick some asses at Summit headquarters, cause someone GOT to do it

Soul

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I swear when I wrote this post I totally made that Twilight Nintendo DS pack up. I had NO IDEA there were REALLY Twilight sticker to pimp your handheld with. And no, my DS is still plain black. I did NOT purchase a Twi-set! So what do you think of Summit’s guidelines? Fail? Or fail? Can this get any more ridiculous? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Google; Summit text: Twifans)

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What the heck was I thinking? Oh yeah, nothing at all…

I made a sexy Sunday’s Brunch post. Yesterday. On a Monday. And didn’t even notice it until 8 pm. I’m officially an idiot! But now it’s too late anyway so I might as well go through with it and post funny Monday stuff today. On a Tuesday. Yesterday my dear dudette Dot sent me the links to some very short parodies I had never seen before. I have really no idea how I could have missed out on them for such a long time. I watched the Twilight as well as the New Moon vid five times each and I gotta say they pretty much RULE! So check out those two pieces of cinematic artwork here and now!

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Twilight with bunnies (not the Playboy kind)

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New Moon with bunnies (not the Playboy kind either)

Sorry, this one isn’t up on YouTube yet cause it’s so brandnew. Just click on the screenshot to watch it on starzbunnies!

Honestly, how awesome is that? They so get all the important parts about this saga! And all in less than a minute! I mean, have you seen horny Bella at the beginning of New Moon? So true! And all those swooning fangirls bunnies when Jacob takes of his shirt? I can’t deny that’s true either… I think those bunny versions might even make my top ten of my favorite Twilight parodies! WIN!

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Hope you enjoyed your funny Monday stuff just as much on a Tuesday

Soul

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PS: Sorry for being confused and mixing all the days up. In my defense I can only say that I had yesterday off and got to sleep in which in my head for some reason seems to equal Sunday…

PPS: A huge thanks to Dot for sending me those links when I really needed a laugh! I love my dudettes!

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So how come not one single reader / dudette / Zelda told me about my mistake? Didn’t you want to embarrass me? Or did you just think this girl is so crazy, maybe she’s posting sexy Sunday’s Brunch on a Monday on purpose? Honestly, what is your excuse for not dropping me a hint about that? Were you too distracted by Biel’s hot Rob videos to notice the headline? Yep, that must be it! Also, how cool are those bunny versions? I LOVE them! What about you? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube)

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How the Vitamin Water people try to embarrass me

Some days I wish this blog was not just about Twilight so that I could tell you about the crazy soap opera my life has become lately. It’s almost like in The OC only with worse weather and less money. But all shades of hilarious! Honestly, I’m convinced life is trying to make fun of me! How else could you explain that the guy at whose apartment we partied last night has the exact same bed as the guy from whose bathroom I blogged? Or that at this very party I found out that my ex-boyfriend is now together with one of the girls who comes to Papa Soul’s gym where I work and who is just the kinda girl I’d eat for breakfast? And all that only two months after she and the ex-bf’s best friend split up? And making it even more strange, said best friend happens to be the twin-brother of the guy who threw the party. Yep, I told you it was some insane gossipy stuff. Alas this is still a Twilight-Blog so off to Twi-blogging I go at 3 am in the night just having come home. So here we go!

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Dear Vitamin Water people, thanks so much for making it even harder for me. Stuff like your stupid ad (and the crazy Twimoms at Oprah) are exactly the reason why it is so difficult for me to admit my acute fondness of Twilight. Because I always fear that everyone might think that I’m a crazy Twihard as well who plans on naming her cat Forks and her children Edward and Jacob. Which I would NEVER do! And as if we hadn’t already more than enough drama to cope with you show up and make this stupid ass ad just to get your share of the Twi-cake. Forget it! With this you only made sure that I will never ever buy Vitamin Water! Not only because I’m mad at you but mostly because I fear that then people might ask me “So are you one of those crazy fangirls camping in line for six days as well?” In my whole life I never ever camped out in line for anything and let’s face it, neither did you! Cause then you would have known that the last thing that helps you there is Vitamin effing Water! What you really need is all kinds of snacks like goldfish crackers and a bottle of diet coke. Yes, only one bottle! Otherwise you might have to pee which is NOT good when there isn’t a bathroom anywhere near. And then Edward and Jacob cut-outs of course to protect your tent from all the criminals that walk the street at night cause you know they’re gonna run away screaming as soon as they see cardboard-Edward with his tweed-suit. Don’t mess with people who wear tweed! Tweed is serious! So dear Vitamin Water ad creatives, all in all we can say that you JUST. DON’T. GET. IT! Next time you wanna push your sales ask ME! Wouldn’t it have been way smarter to have Taylor run around and doing his Jacob moves before he “refreshes” himself with a nice bottle of Vitamin Water? Or what about Rob pouring a whole bottle over himself in an attempt to wash his hair? See, I can do that way better than you! Just give me a call and everything will be oh so much better next time!

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Off to NOT buy Vitamin Water unless they call me… NOW!

Soul

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PS: Guess who was featured in yesterday’s LTT-post!? Hop over and take a look! I’m ridiculously proud! So let’s all have a glass of champy together!

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What is your opinion on the Vitamin Water ad? It IS stupid, right? We are NOT all crazy Twihards so why do they try to embarrass the whole fandom with lame ass commercials like that? They SHOULD have asked me! You wanna see Rob pouring that water over himself as well, right? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(video: Youtube)

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Funny Monday stuff is back!

Ah, I guess I gotta apologize for not doing a funny Monday stuff post last week! But now were finally back to normal and because I know we all need a laugh (or five) on Mondays, without further ado here we go!

Uhm yeah, I can kinda understand him. It’s not as if we didn’t make fun of it since the day we saw the very first Jasper pic from New Moon. You know, the one with the poodle wig… Sorry Jasper! I really feel bad for what those wig people have done to you! On the other side, Jackson wearing a bad wig is at least one thing we can count on when it comes to the Twilight movies.

Yep, word! The new Disney dream of all little girls. Instead of wanting to be a mermaid and marry prince Eric they now want to be a clumsy girl and marry a superhot vampire. And then get pregnant with a half-human half-vampire child… Okay, scratch that last one!

Emmett destroyed the piano? Maybe he had a second armwrestling match with vampire-Bella. Edward will SO NOT be amused…

I SO wish there was a stripclub like that in the woods near where I live! Alas, no jorts-wearing hot guys with eight-packs here yet…

Ahahaha, that one cracks me up… So all the Team Jasper members out there, be warned! Alice is about to catch you staring at the Jasper-porn you got on your laptop!

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Off to work… or Twitter maybe

Soul

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Did you miss funny Monday stuff last week? Glad we’re back to normal? Which one of today pics is your favorite? Any other funny Twilight pics you wanna share? Leave a comment or e-mail me!

(images: Polyvore)

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Rob Cobain aka Kurt Pattinson – top or flop?

* This is the first post for a new series that I’d like to introduce. It’s called “top or flop” and the concept is that we grab a random piece of Twi-News or just a rumor and then Zelda and I both write what we think about it. For this first episode we chose the rumor that was on Twitter a couple of days ago saying that Rob would maybe play Kurt Cobain in a movie about the band Nirvana. Only Zelda thought this was already a fact. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to cram four different pieces of Twi-News in just one text message… I take the blame here! Sorry for accidently misleading you! Nevertheless, here is what we had to say! *

The Zelda-side:

Lately Soul came up with news that Robert Pattinson is going to play the role of Kurt Cobain in the soon-to-come Nirvana movie. And since she knows that I’m a huge fan of both Nirvana and Kurt Cobain for ages now (if you can call it ages considering that we’re talking about a guy who died when I was five years old^^), she asked me for my competent opinion on this matter. And after some thinking, I have to admit that the role actually fits Rob quite well!!

This may or may not be Rob's attempt at channeling Kurt Cobain

I mean, just look at the clothes, for one thing – I bet Rob can just show up at the set in his clothes from the night before, and oh look! he hits the mark perfectly!! Or the hair…. I mean I told you that I love Kurt Cobain, but let’s face the truth: Every once in a while, it looked like sweaty, filthy straw. And you see, this was just another advantage of Rob – because by hiring him they saved the money for a hairstylist!!
But alright now, so far for the outer appearance. Because even their attitudes kind of suit each other. Did you know that Kurt Cobain supposedly died because he suffocated on a puddle of his own puke? Well, at least that’s what some people say, in fact no one knows how he really died, but anyway, I always thought that’s the way that would have suited his lifestyle the best (and I don’t even mean this in a bad way, even though it really sounds bad, now that I write it….). But what I want to say is: If the movie people knew it or not when they made the choice – I bet that Rob, the old pisshead, should know how to impersonate some constantly stoned, wasted druggy!! And don’t think I’m harsh now. Because as if pictures like our famous dumpster pic here wouldn’t already suggest it, then the fact, that Soul has about five times as many “Drunk Rob” pics on her laptop than she’s got pics of him looking good, certainly proves this for me!! So no offence Rob, but seen like this, you’re the top cast for Kurt Cobain!!

Is THIS what we've all been waiting for?

But, even though this would actually be the perfect ending for a post, I have to say something else. Because even if Kurt Cobain was a wasted druggy, his music was more than awesome, and in comparison, yours is just…. lame. Think about your elevator music from the Twilight restaurant scene. And, although Kurt sometimes seemed like a weary slacker, he definitely had his messages. He spoke out on topics such as racism, the church, the state or the system itself. Sure, you can argue about how good or bad these messages were, but at least he had them and stood by them. And I just can’t remember anything you ever said that would count as a message….
But hey, as I said, you still fit the role nicely!! So – Nevermind

The Soul-side:

Yep, he's got the look!

Would I want to see Rob playing Kurt Cobain? Hell YES! He’s got the druggy hobo look! Well, at least most of the time… And he’s got the mumbling singing style! Zelda might have called it “elevator music” but to be honest she doesn’t know Rob’s music half as well as I do! I’m DYING to hear Rob singing Smells like Teen Spirit! But do I think it is a good idea to let Rob play Kurt Cobain in the Nirvana movie? Hell NO! Because he wouldn’t stand a chance. No one would judge him fairly. The Nirvana fans would probably HATE the idea of “that douchy Twilight guy” playing their hero Kurt. Cause to be honest, the typical Nirvana fans don’t seem to be the people that fall for Rob. He could never live up to their expectations. I just think that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. I might not be a total Nirvana fangirl like Zelda ( ) but if their story will ever be turned into a movie it has to be absolutely BRILLIANT! So sorry Rob… but maybe you could nevertheless make a cover of Smells like Teen Spirit… just for me you know. Cause I would LOVE to hear you singing THAT one!

Random other stuff we noticed while writing this post:

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  The perfect match

  Scarlett Johansson playing Courtney Love would be PERFECT! Cause we hate them both… Scarlett and Courtney that is.

• Jared Leto looks EXACTLY like Kurt in the pics where he has long blond hair PLUS he can sing!
• Courtney is the female form of Kurt, so in fact they got the same name. Well, kind of… Also , how come we never noticed this before? Definitely Zelda’s epiphany of the month!

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Off to listen to old Nirvana songs until Rob’s cover comes out

Soul

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What do you think about Rob playing Kurt Cobain? Top or flop? Did you listen to Nirvana back in the days when they were HUGE and Kurt was still alive? Which is your favorite song? And would you like to hear Rob cover Smells like Teen Spirit just as much as I do? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(video: Youtube; images: google, and a little photoshop to get Rob’s head on that cover; and yes, I totally put down all the good pics in the Zelda-side… because I’m the BEST… blog-partner that is )

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Our HTD Undercover Agent Alkonyat finally speaks out

So after teasing you for two days, today you finally get all the details about the Rob-meeting! Since we always try to prepare awesome posts including the latest Twi-News, we got undercover agents all over the world holding their eyes and ears open for us… or rather for a glimpse of Rob in this case. Two days ago our Hungarian connection who goes by the codename Alkonyat (she said she chose it cause that’s Twilight in Hungarian… I’m sure she just chose it cause it’s hard to pronounce for me… ) sent her super secret operating report straight to our HTD-lair of awesomeness. Enjoy the most amazing parts of said report here written in italic. My comments are in turquoise. Ready? GO!

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So… as I’m sure you know, Rob’s arrival to Hungary was totally unexpected – we knew he would come, but only sometime during the second week of April.(This DOES sound like a super secret operating report! See, I’m NOT making it all up THIS time!) The first photo of him at Budapest airport came at around 10 pm on Saturday – I think that’s the reason why there were no more than about fifty or sixty fans around the area where the filming took place on Sunday morning. We were relatively quiet, there was no screaming, no fainting, no embarrassing fangirling – we were in almost complete silence during the shots. I think we were the most disciplined fans Rob has ever seen… (Oh yes you were! Want proof? Then check out the video from later in the evening!)

Just in case you didn’t understand it properly, he says “Köszönöm, hogy csendben voltatok!” which means “Thank you for being quiet!”. Oh yes Alkonyat, Rob loves you. Plus he sounds sexy in Hungarian. Is that a surprise? I mean he sounds sexy in every language but the smile and everything make this somehow seem even sexier… Yes dear Hungarian fans, I may or may not envy you at this point… Now let’s go on with the report!

We gathered where his caravan was, and waited for him to appear. He was shooting scenes (repeating every one of them at least six times) with Kristin Scott Thomas quite far from us, so we didn’t see much. At around 1 pm he got into a car – we barely saw him disappear behind the dark windows – and left the place – to have lunch, I assume – but approximately an hour later the car brought him back. He came back wearing his own jacket, ahhhhh, he was so… so… Rob. (His own jacket, which everyone recognizes immediately seeing that he only has about two different ones) Typically, I can’t find any photos I took then, I must have been in shock or something... That was a priceless moment. Rob got out of the car, and the small group of his Hungarian fans stood there motionless, mouth hanging open, as if the breath had been knocked out of us, some of us flawlessly imitating KStew’s gasping… I bet Rob didn’t even notice we were there… (Oh I bet he did. And I bet he got SO turned on by all the Kristen imitations. Nothing is sexier than KStew’s pick up tricks, trust me! )

He got into the caravan, then came out and went to shoot a scene, then got back into the caravan again – it went like this for a few hours. After the second similar round, when the caravan’s door opened, some of us let out a very modest version of a scream and Rob made a huge mistake – he stepped out and shot a smile at us. We were considerably louder afterwards, but still, it was nothing compared to RM premiere in London, for instance…

Later in the afternoon, a lot of oblivious foreign tourist came and stopped to look around, so ‘intimacy’ was briefly lost. We made sure they remained oblivious, though.

Tourist A: „What’s going on here?”
Rob’s Hungarian fans:”We don’t knooooow…”
Tourist B: “Is it some Jane Austen novel they are filming here?”
Rob’s Hungarian fans: „We don’t knoooooow…”

You get the picture. Rob is OURS for now! (Gosh you’re so skilled! Fooling unsuspecting tourists… See, we really train our HTD special agents well!)

Luckily, at around 5 pm, the crowd started to disperse – Rob was even farther from us then, so there was nothing to see, I guess. All we saw was that Rob had to run across the street for a scene so many times that we lost count. (Perhaps the director didn’t like the cutely funny way he runs?) (Wait! He had to RUN? Haha, it gets better and better! And you earn +points for calling Rob’s lightning speed running “cutely funny”! Oh how I love to see him running… And dear readers, OF COURSE we got a video of that! Oh how I wish YouTube had a slowmo function…)

After a time he got back into the caravan again and we thought everything was over because they started to remove all the stuff they used and clean the street. There were no more than fifty people there then, so the security guys were very relaxed, they even removed the only barrier that separated us from Rob, and I was standing there, across from his caravan, the camera shaking in my hands… The caravan door slowly opened and… Jesus… that was the moment when I almost fainted. I guess you know the photos I took then.

A little sneak peek for those of us who have NOT been there

But it was not the end, not yet. Filming continued on another street, a few hundred metres away from the first location. They filmed two or three scenes there (one with Rob running, again, the one I made the video of). Soon it started to get dark, and there were more and more people again, so I didn’t get close to Rob again. He left at 7 pm. He smiled and waved before he got into the car, and everyone screamed a bit.

That was everything. I still can’t believe I saw him, that I was there ‘with him’ all day… Incredible.

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Yes, I got more pics than just that one. But I’m keeping them for now cause I want to do a Bel Ami special with ALL the pics so be patient. You’ll get rewarded in the end, promise! So dear Alkonyat, THANKS SO MUCH for sending me that novel of an e-mail and letting me post it! I owe you! Plus I wish I had been there with you. You’re the very first of all our readers who met Rob and shared the story with us. Oh and btw, I LOVE all the pics and stuff you sent me but I kept my promise to NOT post them all here. Thanks!

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Off to recruit more HTD special agents

Soul

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PS: Tomorrow we talk about the Easter gift Stephenie Meyer is NOT giving us and the book she wrote while she did NOT finish Midnight Sun…

PPS: Wanna become one of our awesome undercover agents? We equip all of them with a special robsessed camera, as proves the following picture where EVERYTHING is blurry except Rob

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A Rob story too good to be true…

Remember when I told you yesterday that one of our readers met Rob? I bet you got all excited then and wished YOU had been that reader. So lay back and enjoy the following wonderful story I will tell you right out of the Rob-fairy-tale book:

Our gorgeous noble prince on his way to save the world

Once upon a time, there was a young beautiful girl who (kinda) fell in love with a gorgeous prince… Okay, maybe this is too fairy-tale-ish (yes, that’s a word… maybe…) so I’ll keep it a little more modern. Even if said prince with the noble name Robert really wears ancient clothes from time to time. No, that’s not a reference to the stoli shirt. But to his Bel Ami costume. But back to the story! Somewhere in Budapest a girl stands next to the Bel Ami film set. She has been waiting for such a long time just to finally see Rob in person when suddenly he really leaves his trailer and walks over to her (the only “normal” girl there) and a bunch of scary looking Twihards. As soon as the hardcore fans see their favorite celebrity they start freaking out completely, waving numerous panties in his face asking him to sign all their underwear. Half an eternity later after having signed what seems to be the entire underwear collection of 23 Twihards, he finally moves over to our cute girl who stands there timidly and a little embarrassed by all those other overexcited fans. Rob smiles at her and asks what he can do for her. She holds out a bag full of his favorite cookies she especially purchased for this occasion (very useful Rob-trivia she once read about on our blog; oh yes, we wrote about Rob’s favorite cookies once!). “Here, I brought your favorite cookies for you.” Rob looks deep into her eyes, dazzled. “This is the most wonderful thing a fan has ever done for me! It’s so nice to not sign panties for a change.” Immediately she sneaks her Team Edward panties back into her handbag. Fortunately Rob doesn’t notice any of this. He smiles his crooked Edward Cullen smile he now uses to impress girls. “Hey, I just thought maybe you would hang out with me tonight at the pub right around the corner?” “Oh, really? Yeah, of course. That would be awesome!”

7 hours later, a random pub in Budapest:

Our not so noble prince on his way to save the beer industry

Rob and the girl just sip their 12th Heineken when suddenly Rob jumps up and says “I gotta DANCE now!” and hurries of to the dancefloor. David Hasselhoff’s super hit (aka his only song that I know the title of) is playing and Rob starts dancing like crazy. He even manages to mix Flashdance, Dirty Dancing AND Pulp Fiction dance moves in between his routine. Secretly the girl gets out her phone and starts filming the performance while thinking “OMG, I so understand now while he never goes to clubs… he is probably the only one who can pull this shit off and still look hot…” She’s just about to upload the dancing video on Youtube to share with her friends when Rob suddenly comes back. “Phew, I love when I can dance around without hoards of crazy fans filming me with their stupid cell phones!” Immediately she stops the uploading process and wants to put her phone back into her handbag. That’s when Rob notices the panties she has hidden in there. “Uhm, are those your panties there?” “Uh… no! My cousin gave them to me. She wanted me to ask you if you could sign them…” “And what are you going to do now? Tell her I was a complete dickhead and said no?” “Well, I just thought I will say I didn’t meet you.” Rob ponders what he has just heard for about five seconds. A sexy fangirl that did neither film him, nor ask him to sign any kind of panties nor take pics with him nor tell anybody about meeting him? Then he blurts out “Hey, would you like to see my hotel suite? I got Heinekens and Hot Pockets there…” The last thing that was heard from the girl was a text message saying “Don’t worry if you don’t hear from me over the next few days. I’m hanging out at Rob’s suite…”

Okay, to be honest this is NOT the story of how one of our readers met Rob. This is rather my imagination going astray, sorry. You’ll get the real true story of how one of our readers actually met Rob tomorrow. PROMISE! She even took a video of Rob RUNNING! EPIC!

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Yeah, I’m a cockblock, I know! (Just like SMeyer, never forget that )

Soul

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PS: This is how Rob might have looked during the fantabulous pub party night. Minus the epic dancing. Plus hot bedroom scenes…

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So stay tuned for our real report tomorrow. Honestly, don’t miss it! Do you have your own Rob-story? Tell us about it! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(video: YouTube; images: Google)

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Oh the awesome trailer reactions we will get…

So today we will finally get the first real Eclipse trailer and then of course an even better one right before Remember Me. That made me think back to the good old times when I saw the different New Moon trailers for the first time. And guess what came to my mind! Well, the awful awesome trailer reaction videos on YouTube of course! So to get us all into the mood, here is a little collection of some of my favorites:

I’m pretty sure I never sat on my couch clapping my hands to the people on TV. Cause for some reason I’m convinced that they couldn’t hear me and therefore clapping and waving wouldn’t make any sense but whatever…^^

She warned us at the beginning of her video that she might go fangirl-crazy. And she was right, she did. I’m pretty glad I didn’t have to sit next to her during the movie or I might probably not have heard one single word they said on screen. Oh and the part where she calls Edward a dickhead… And then she says that she’s Team Jasper at least ten times at the end. So Zelda, I hope this isn’t you wearing your Nuttymadam mask! Oh yes, I’m so not kidding here! This girl’s YouTube name really is Nuttymadam3575… And then she was talking about someone called Lauren and I’m pretty sure no one called Lauren was in that New Moon trailer. But then I realized she meant Laurent and simply pronounced it a bit strange. Stupid me, how could I not recognize that immediately? Can you believe this girl interviewed a couple of Twilight actors? Do you think she freaked out just as much as she did when she saw the trailer? I’ll check out the videos and then let you know!

This is the reason why it doesn’t make sense for me to record my trailer reaction. Cause I’m just like the girl on the left in the first 60 seconds. Most of the time I show no reaction at all cause I’m so concentrated on not missing anything. But I gotta say those to girls look absolutely adorable. Can you believe that the younger one on the right uploaded this video on YouTube? Honestly, how old is that girl that she already knows how to do that? Ah those young digital natives, so sweet…

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Off to watch the Eclipse trailer so that I can write an awesome post about it

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So what do you think about those videos? Which one is your favorite? Are you going to record your trailer reaction? Have you ever done something like this? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube, courtesy of the (crazy) fangirls who made them)

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Funny Monday stuff – handy dandy workedition

Yay, this time we’re actually posting our funny Monday stuff on Monday! A bit boring in comparison to funny Monday stuff on Wednesday but whatever! So because I know that this is the favorite series here on HTD for some of our readers (Hello Kiyokamori!) and that some have a really tough week full of work lying ahead (Hello Tracy! Oh, and Annie I guess… ) I made a super special edition and somehow improved version of our usual Monday posts! It’s just as funny as always but this time you do not have to hide it behind a Windows Excel window! It’s super hilarious and 100% Twi-related but at the same time looks just like super important work stuff! Don’t believe me? Don’t think that much awesomeness is actually possible? See for yourself and take a look at some of the amazing Twi-Charts I found!

Oh thanks for generalizing this and saying that every Twifan is obviously crazy! I am a Twifan. And I am NOT crazy! Or wait… maybe I am. But crazy in a very funny, nice and positive way, of course!

So what you can see here is that having a crazy fangirl as a daughter might save you from becoming a Twimom. Or she might introduce you to the books and make you an addict just like she is… You can never tell.

Remember the good old days when Zelda was still around and took like 217 Twi-Quizzes? All for important blog-research of course! How I miss those days…

Yeah, if I want a super complicated book I read Nietzsche or Proust. Which I don’t usually do, just FYI. If I want sparkly hot vampires I pick up Twilight. That’s right!

Uhm yes, they are right. Taylor Lautner is shirtless in at least 50% of the movie. But hey, you don’t hear me complaining! Guys with abs like that should in fact NEVER be wearing ANY shirt. AT ALL. More eye-candy for us females please!

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Off to print those fantabulous graphics & put them away in my “work documents” ring binder right on top of my fanfic collection (*false, I only got Wide Awake*)

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So did you like this special edition of funny Monday stuff? Will you print out those charts to take with you to the next business meeting to have a nice little laugh while all your colleagues talk those boring monthly reports? If you do, could you please take a pic for us of your new improved work folder? Let us know! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: GraphJam.com)

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