Before I get you all super excited for the Eclipse red carpet premiere tomorrow, let’s have a look at what Melissa Rosenberg said a few days ago about Breaking Dawn. No idea if she talks about part one or two, but it includes sex scenes so that’s a win no matter which way you put it! As per usual comments by me are in turquoise. Mel’s real statement is in dark red. You know, cause she talks about blood and making love and stuff so I thought red kinda fits…
Hi y’all! Not sure where some of you got the impression I intended to leave birth scene out of Breaking Dawn, (Uhm, no idea. Wishful thinking maybe?) but it’s inaccurate. (Damn! What a bummer! I hoped they might just leave out Renesmee completely) Of course the birth scene will be in there! And the sex scenes! (YAY! WIN! Down with fade to black! This woman knows what we want! Sex-scenes FTW!) And the feathers! And the blood! Perhaps you misinterpreted what I said about not needing to see BUCKETS of blood in order to convey the terror of the birth scene. (What? No buckets of blood? Why not? I so hoped we would get to see Bella vomiting FOUNTAINS of blood just like it’s described in the book! Now I’m So disappointed *please love how sarcastic I am*) But rest easy all!
Oh, just in case you have no idea who the eff Melissa Rosenberg is (Hi there Zelda ) she’s the screenplay-writer. You know, the one who came up with that famous “Purple’s cool” line. Not with the spider-monkey one though. That one we can still blame on Cathy Hardi. Also just in case you didn’t know that either, Mel Mel (as I lovingly call her) was the screenplay-writer for The OC! Aw, I loved that series so much! And it was WELL written! So much Ryan and Seth magic moments of hilariousness. And Sandy! I always kinda wanted him to be my dad (Sorry Papa Soul, but it’s true!). Any other nostalgic OC fangirls out there? Any haters? Say what you want but that series was damn well written! Thumbs up for that one Melissa. I know Breaking Dawn is probably a little trickier though. Not that Julie Cooper couldn’t absolutely keep up with Jane from the Volturi, that’s not the problem. It’s rather all that awkward stuff like let’s say… a demon half-vampire baby ripping Bella apart from the inside. Or basically just the baby itself.
So if in doubt, simply leave out the pregnancy completely. Just give us a wedding plus Isle Esme sexy times for the first 90 minutes, then 30 minutes of vampire wolfpack bonding plus the appearance of the Volturi (simply pretend they showed up to check if Bella was still human) and then at the end Edward finally giving in and changing Bella. Properly. And not by unceremoniously plunging a syringe all the way into her heart. Cause that is NOT romantic. Or sexy. Or whatever. I liked your statement Mel, but just consider my awesome solution. I bet no one would complain if you took the freedom to make a few little changes. Cause NO ONE would miss Renesmee. Okay well, there might be a few insane Twimoms comitting suicide cause they named their children Renesmee and now she doesn’t even show up in the movie, but whatever. You can’t satisfie everyone (TWSS) so… PRIORITIES! Kthxbye.
Off to watch the first season of The OC again
Are you an OC fangirl just like me? Who was your favorite? Ryan or Seth? What about Melissa’s statement? Do you love that she promised us sex-scenes? What do you expect from Breaking Dawn? Do you think my new improved storyline is much better than Steph’s version? (Hint: IT IS!) Leave a comment or e-mail us!
(image: Google, once found by my wonderful internet wife Zelda)