Did you miss our funny Monday stuff?

Hey there everyone! Actually I wanted to write about Melissa Rosenberg’s statement to Breaking Dawn. Or about the fact that I forgot Edward’s birthday. But then I realized we haven’t had a proper funny Monday stuff post here in quite a while. So I’m gonna do that now instead. (Oh yes, funny Monday stuff wins over Mel Mel… and Edward’s birthday! The result might have been different if this was about sexy times with Edward though! Just saying…) So get ready to laugh cause here we finally go again!

Bahaha, if this should ever happen Bella would bitchface Edward SO BAD! Oh no, wait, that was Kristen!

Hehe, sorry! I just couldn’t go without making at least one single wig-joke. But yeah, it really does look as if that’s Taylor’s old Twilight wig. That might explain some things. You know, stuff like the frizzy look and the bad hairline. Come on Summit, have mercy and get Kristen her own wig for Breaking Dawn, will you? Kthxbye.

Yep, that might also be the reason why you’re still a virgin. Sorry to say Edward, but guys that hear Miley will NEVER get laid. That’s a FACT! So get that CD out and then we Bella and you can finally get it on.

Glitter princess FTW! LMAO! THIS is how that fight scene should have gone down! Dear Melissa Rosenberg, how come you didn’t think of that, huh? Also when I hear the word glitter princess it immediately makes me think of Disney girls. Edward in the Arielle wedding dress? WIN! Well, kind of…

Edward daydreaming about Jacob? What a low blow for Bella! Plus this makes me wonder if there is Jacob and Edward fanfiction. And right now I’m pretty much convinced there is! Just saying…

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Off to google “Jakeward fanfic” cause I KNOW SOMEONE wrote that stuff down

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Yay, are you as happy as I am that funny Monday stuff is back? And did someone of you “accidently” stumble across Edward and Jacob fanfic recently? Come on, confess it! I know someone of you did! Also do you have other funny pics I could post next time? Whatever it is, let us know! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Polyvore)

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Time for Music Weekend featuring the Eclipse Soundtrack

Ready for the second part of the Eclipse soundtrack? Because I sure as hell am! So here are the next five songs on the list plus my thoughts plus random notes plus review. Oh, and the video again of course so that you can refresh your memory a bit and get into the right mood. Now let’s start!

***UPDATE: Sorry, they removed the video above. I tried to find vids of the songs to insert though***

06. Fanfarlo – Atlas:

I know this is probably a strange thing to say but it kinda reminds me of Jeff Buckley’s version Hallelujah. No idea why, it just does. At least at the beginning. Didn’t really get into it at the first listen but five times later it gets better. Maybe it’s one of the songs you have to hear several times…

07. The Black Keys – Chop and Change: Sorry, couldn’t find a video of that one. Plus I don’t remember it well enough from back when I listened to the soundtrack live stream to have an opinion about it. Which probably means it is not one of my favorites or I would still have it stuck in my head somewhere. But I can assure you it’s not that bad either or I’d already have at least ten different jokes ready about how bad it sucks. You know, just like I have with those 100 Monkey songs…

08. The Dead Weather – Rolling in on a Burning Tire:

Definitely NOT one of my favorites. Sorry, but I just can’t say I like this song. Probably the one I’m gonna skip EVERY SINGLE TIME. Also please ignore that super awkward, super horribly photoshopped poster that’s there during the complete video.

09. Beck and Bat for Lashes – Let’s get Lost:

Yay, video with lyrics just in case you don’t understand what they’re singing. I loved some of the old stuff Beck did. Years back. Haven’t heard much since then. Maybe that’s a bit weird, but the first time I heard it I was like “This should SO play during the tent scene when we get the Jacob dream-scene where he makes out with Bella. Cause this is sex-music!” Yep, I thought that. And I won’t take it back. Plus I really kinda wanna have a dream-scene there. Sorry Team Edward members. I also wanted Jake to kiss Bella right after he said kwop kilawtley. Be mad at me, hate at me, I don’t care! So will this become the ultimate Jacob and Bella sex-music? We’ll see!

10. Vampire Weekend – Jonathan Low: Hm, I got the feeling that they might use this one in a Jacob Bella scene. Probably in one where Bella hangs out with the wolfpack while they make fun of Jake for being in love with Bella when then suddenly Lea Clearwater shows up and gives poor Bella and her bad hairline a bitchface that would even put Rosalie to shame. Wanna know how that idea came into my mind? Uhm, that must have been when I watched THIS scene for the first time and noticed Vampire Weekend is playing in the background!

Also why the heck is Taylor the only one wearing a shirt in this scene, huh? FAIL!

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Stay tuned for the third (and last) part of the soundtrack

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What’s your opinion on the soundtrack? Any favorites so far? Any ideas where they might put the songs? Any idea where Jacob’s abs have gone? Leave a comment or e-mail me!

(videos: YouTube)

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Chatting up the new Eclipse trailer… or clip… or whatever they call it now

Ah Summit, what a smart move. You announce the FINAL Eclipse trailer to premiere on Oprah. Then everyone goes WTF because that thing most definitely was one minute too short to be anything near a FINAL trailer. But of course you can’t go back on your word and release a longer trailer. So you just give us tons of random scenes and call them CLIPS now. AWESOME! We SO haven’t seen through this. Also I hope you can hear my sarcasm through those thick black walls of your Summit headquarters or wherever you’re hiding these days. I won’t complain though cause I love me some Eclipse clips. So today it’s time to chat the parking lot scene up. You know, the one from the MTV awards.

0:22: Edward’s face when he says “of course not” is priceless. Because it’s only one step from saying “because you can’t do what anyone wants you to like let’s say stay safe at home instead of almost killing yourself in a poor attempt of trying out cliff diving just to hear my voice you stupid little trouble maker”. Just that Edward would NEVER say that to Bella. Ever. Even though I think he should. Cause someone HAS to tell her the truth. Just saying.

0:39: The Edward smirk kills me! Like seriously KILLS ME! THAT is why I fell in love with this guy! Two seconds later though it rather looks as if Rob is trying not to burst out laughing his ass off about Taylor practising his “fierce” look. THAT is why I fell in love with Rob once I guess. His giggling. And the mumblish singing of course!

1:02: Edward’s thoughts in that moment (because you know I can read his mind): “DAMN YOU JACOB! There is one single rule and you can’t stick to it! DON’T TELL BELLA ANYTHING. Because all she’s gonna do is get herself into trouble. Brilliant. Now she will end up bugging me about changing her so she can fight with us. Or to have sex with her before she dies. And I won’t do either thing…”

1:20: BOOB STARE ALERT! Jacob is SO checking out Bella’s boobs right there! Thanks to Zelda for pointing that one out to me via text message in the middle of the night. You just “get it” when stuff is important!

1:31: “It’s him I don’t trust.” Yeah, you shouldn’t, that guy has a motorcycle and a tattoo which means he is all badass and stuff. And oh yeah, he also kinda wants to do your girlfriend…

1:39: Super nasty Jacob-stare alert!

1:42: AS IF! Bella would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS run away with Jacob like that with Edward standing right there! SCRIPT FAIL!

1:46: Did anyone else wait for Jacob saying spider-monkey at the end of that “hold on tight” phrase? Because I sure as hell did. I would have laughed my ass off had they really let him repeat Edward’s infamous line from Twilight here. So sad that didn’t happen! Also can you hear my sarcasm here? Cause that was one of the worst lines in Twilight by FAR! Or at least one of the most 2nd-hand-embarrassing ones. And I’d never thought Edward could make me 2nd-hand-embarrassed over ANYTHING…

Alright, the rest is more or less just a mesh up of old trailer scenes. Including some new Jasper-is-practicing-his-sexy-running scenes though. Hello there Zelda’s vampire crush!

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Off to watch that trailer clip another 217 times (for important blog purposes of course!)

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Are you Team Jasper as well? Then raise your hand in the comments so Zelda won’t feel lonely anymore. Or just share random thoughts about that clip. Or write me an e-mail. I LOVE to get mails from all of you!

(video: YouTube)

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How Alex dazzled us by reading Twilight Vol.3

NEWSFLASH: Rob’s suitporn was cancelled due to Rob unfortunately NOT looking hot at the BAFTAs. (Sorry to say but honestly, what WAS up with his hair?) So if you’re really dying to get a little suitporn hop over and take a look at the good old Oscar pics again. Thanks for your attention, now we go on with the real post!

Yay, it’s time again for a our lovely little series called Alex reads Twilight. Cause I know you’ve all been dying to see the next part. Oh Alex Day how I love you for going on reading this book even though you obviously don’t like it at all. And for making me laugh so hard even though you mock something I’m kinda obsessed with. Yeah, there’s no use denying it seeing that I run a Twilight-Blog and stuff… So here are chapters 5 and 6:

Yeah, let’s all sing along “Lauren, who the fuck is Lauren?” Uhm, obviously someone who’s not important enough to make it into the movies. Ah,and how excited he gets about Jacob, the guy who is “completely normal”… and not a unnatural superhuman creature… (*SPOILER ALERT*) yet!^^

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Off to find out how Alex managed to NOT notice Jake turning into a wolf in all those trailers (Honestly, can you believe he doesn’t know that?)

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Do you love Alex’s Twilight videos as much as I do? Do you think he’s hilarious? Which part was your favorite? And did you know he also makes music? Check out his official site HERE! And then come back and leave a comment or e-mail us.

OTHER NEWS: We got Facebook, so join us there! And don’t forget: You can still enter our RAZZIE CONTEST, so do it NOW! Kthxbye.

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Funny Wednesday stuff due to too much Twi-News on Monday

You know our lovely little series called “funny Monday stuff”? The one where we post those hilarious Twilight pics so we can all have a laugh instead of being depressed that a whole week full of work lies ahead of us once again? Yeah uhm, we’re gonna post this weeks funny Monday stuff today, on Wednesday. Partly because we’re crazy like that but mostly because there was just so much Twi-News we had to share with you first. Well, I think you had a good time on Monday nevertheless considering I posted those super hot leaked Eclipse stills… So now enjoy our very first edition of funny Wednesday stuff!

Uhm no Rob, you called YOURSELF Claudia back in the days when your sisters dressed you up as a girl. And as if that wasn’t enough you even admitted it in several interviews. I hope you don’t want ME to call you Claudia too the next time we make out…

Look who’s talking…

You like Barbie the movie, Jake? Think she looks good? Yeah well, I always thought there must be some deeper reason why you got that long hair… And Mike Newton being completely dazzled by Barbie’s hotness? Honestly, I can so imagine him sitting at home watching some sick kind of Barbie-porn in the Newton’s basement while his parents are away working. That’s so the Mike Newton I picture in my head…

Someone photoshopped Rob’s face on Disney’s Snow White? Are you kidding me? Priceless! And the apple with Bella’s head on it? Perfect!

I never though of this before I saw that pic. But come to think of it I would LOVE to have a dance off right there! Carlisle showing us his best disco moves? Rosalie doing a super slutty booty drop? Emmett doing some breakdance tricks? Awesome! And then seeing Rob (of whom we know that he’s not the sporty type) dancing? Priceless! Maybe we could get the Hillywood Show to do something like that? Cause those girls know how to rock Twilight dance scenes!

Okay, that’s it for now. I hope you like our funny Monday stuff even though we published it on Wednesday!

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Off to work (only two more days till it’s Friday again, yay!)

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So did you miss our funny Monday stuff this week? Or were you too distracted by the Eclipse stills and Rob’s 80s porn photoshoot? Found any funny Twi-related pics? Wanna send them over? Do it! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Polyvore)

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How to dazzle everyone with funny Monday stuff Vol.2

Another monday, another week’s worth of work. In order to continue our new series and to make this day a bit more agreeable for you, we present our funny Monday stuff Vol.2. Enjoy!

Oh yes Rob, me too! So who’s you’re favorite? I pick Arielle, the one who made me grow my hair out when I was a little girl. Never had the guts to dye it red though. Or Jasmine from Aladdin, another one of my favorites. We could go out to a costume paty together dressed up as Disney princesses. Although I’d rather if you were the prince… Think about it and then let me know, please. Just call, I know you got my number.

Okay Zelda, this one’s for you. Because I know how much you love Jasper. So just look at it the next two weeks a bit longer, then print it out and place it over your bed. I know you will… No, just kidding of course. Zelda never would. No, honestly, trust me. She wouldn’t.

Oh yeah Bella, we forgot to tell you. It’s Rosalie’s present. It’s a homemade bomb. So you better not open it. Or wait, the only other persons in close vicinity are vampires and therefor wouldn’t get hurt. So if you open it and fade out of the story, maybe Edward will end up with me… Why not? Hey, don’t worry. Just go on and try it out. It’s a birthday present, so just open it!

Yep Jake, you’re right. You may have developed really really well. You may have the best abs ever. You may have the most shirtless moments in a teen-movie ever. You may have extraordinary martial arts skills. You may have the ability to say “do me NOW” with your eyes in every photoshoot… But you still don’t get the girl. You could have me though, if you want… Just saying.

Yeah Abu, me too! Maybe if you hand me over that wishing lamp… You could send it over with the magic carpet Aladdin has… Because what could be better than having a wishing lamp and a magic carpet? Okay, having Edward Cullen and Jacob Black maybe. But other than that?

Okay, now that I had my Monday laughs I think I’m ready to go to work now. At least that’s what I try to tell myself because I got to go anyway…

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Off to “enjoy” my work day

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PS: Yesterday was a totally crazy day for Zelda and me. Our blog kind of exploded, literally. We got a comment from one of my two favorite bloggers ever, UC from Letterstotwilight. Did you see she even tweeted about my post? NO? Then go read it NOW! The crazy girl peering into their windows, that’s me. I’ll tell you about all that crazy stuff that followed my little post aka love-letter to the LTT-Ladies. I kind of went fangirl-crazy and I think I might have accidently proposed to Zelda in some kind of endorphine rush… Can’t remember properly, but I’ll find out. In case I did, you’ll all get pictures of our wedding, promise! Wanna send us pics of your wedding? Twilight themed? Anything else you want to share? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Polyvore)

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How to dazzle everyone with the “How To Dazzle Awards”

After seeing the movie Zelda and I found so many things that fascinated us in New Moon. It’s always the little things that make a film special for me. So in honor to our favorite parts in Chris Weitz’ awesome adaptation, we now proudly present the 1st How To Dazzle Awards, handed out by an unbelievably dazzling jury consisting of… well,uhm, Zelda and me!

And the award goes to…

1. Best make-up: Rob’s airbrushed on abs in the Volterra scene. And just in case that one doesn’t count because it’s not really what anyone woud call make-up, we pick Dakota Fanning’s Jane make-up. Simply because it looked awesome and kind of creepy at the same time.

2. Best intentionally funny moment: Emmett grinning and saying “Dating an older girl, hot!” and Edward’s face when he realizes the joke, hilarious. Lucky Bella didn’t hear that. She would have totally freaked out, cause you know, age’s a touchy subject for her…

3. Best song: Lykke Li – Possibility because it’s so melancholy beautiful and fits the scene where the months pass for Bella so well. Just in case you don’t remember it properly, enjoy it again here:

4. Best line: Jacob talking Quileute to Bella right before the phone rings. I cannot write the line down here cause to be honest I have no idea how to spell it, sorry! Nevertheless the jury (Zelda and I) found this so heartwrenching and cute. Jake, if she doesn’t want you, you can talk Quileute to me anytime you want, ifyouknowwhatimsaying….

5. Best CGI Wolf: The one where Jacob transforms mid-air to save Bella from Paul. I mean, how cool is that?

Taylor Lautner sporting best abs AND best outfit...

6. Best outfit: Jorts, definitely jorts! Basically because they’re not really an outfit at all. Major win! Show us what you got, guys!

7. Best special effect: Edward sparkling in the sun, just because he looks absolutely dazzling there. This is how it is done, Cathy Hardwicke! Chris really beat your ass there! Thanks a lot for finally making Edward shimmer as if he consisted of diamonds, this is how it’s supposed to be. Cause you all know what’s said about diamonds and girls, right?

8. Best abs: Taylor Lautner as Jacob. I have no idea what they did with him in between Twilight and New Moon but damn he looks ripped! Those abs are beyond a six-pack. They even got a tribute scene of their own aka Jacob standing half-naked on the street stopping Edward’s car with his abs. Awesome!

Rachelle Lefevre aka the most dazzling redhead in the whole wide world

9. Best hair: Rachelle Lefevre as Victoria, no one can compete with this! Wish I had her hair… instead I’m stuck with stupid long brown Bella hair… maybe a bit more beautiful than Bella’s (perhaps a result of not wearing a stupid hairband all the time like a seven year old girl…) but still no comparison to Rachelle’s. I’m not only gonna miss her in Eclipse but her hair as well, I guess…

10. Best scene: The one where you see the months pass for Bella. Because it’s simply perfect! I cannot imagine this one any better. The sad song, Bella looking horrible sitting on her chair, staring out the window completely motionless and most of all, the names of the months. I so wanted to see them on screen, and I got them.
This might be the actual reason why I want to marry Chris Weitz… or at least name my first child in honor to him…

So this were our personal winners. At lest the ones we noticed while watching New Moon for the first time. Wanna see us handing out the Dazzling Raspberry for the not so amazing parts? Because we will! Not today though. Today we simply enjoy Chris Weitz’ brilliant work some more…

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Off to dye my hair to make it look like Rachelle’s (as if that would ever work…)

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What were your favorite parts? Which things did you not like that much? Any categories we forgot to mention? Leave us a comment or e-mail us!

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