The Kristen Stewart School of Acting – Part 2

That is all. Also this kinda explains why Emma is basically my homegirl and not KStew. Sorry Kristen!

a

Off to practice my KStew acting faces

a

Soul

a

PS: Before anyone feels insulted, just for the record: I DO NOT hate Kristen. I just don’t particularly like her either. Haha yep, I just quoted Rosalie there. Aka the biggest bitch in Vamp Town apart from True Blood’s Pam maybe…

(image: iwastesomuchtime.com hahaha. No joke!)

Read Full Post »

Stuff we look forward to here on HTD

I’m back from Isle Esme. Aka fireboy’s lair of awesomeness! So to conclude the HTD birthday week I thought I’d venture a glimpse into our next year. Ready? Cause I’m not quite sure I am… Just kidding. Here you go.

Year two might become a difficult one for us here on HTD. Cause while we had both New Moon and Eclipse coming out in year one, there will be no -I repeat NO- new Twilight movie in the next twelve months. Yep, Breaking Dawn won’t be released until November 2011. I know. That sucks. Nevertheless, to end the HTD anniversary week I decided to make a list with stuff to look forward to during the next year. You know, to cheer me up during hard months where there is absolutely NO Twi-News whatsoever. Except if you count someone spotting beardy Rob at a Mc Donald’s drive through. Which I don’t. So here comes the list!

a

Top Ten Awesomeness we hope to blog about soon

1.) Stephenie Meyer publishing Midnight Sun

2.) Pictures of Kristen wearing a fake baby bump on the BD set

3.) Pictures of Kristen wearing a fake baby bump while taking a smoke break on the BD set. Epic! Mothers all over the world will freak out. So much drama potential! Haha, EPIC!

4.) Stephenie Meyer’s recently fired cleaning lady taking revenge by leaking the COMPLETE Midnight Sun file on the internet

5.) A HUGE picture leak from the Isle Esme set. You know, like those evil forbidden Eclipse stills we posted back in the day. Yep, I will be just as happy to put evil forbidden Isle Esme pics up here, promise!

6.) The Breaking Dawn press tour. I mean honestly, what would be more hilarious than hearing Rob talk about knocking Kristen up or Taylor trying to explain why it is not weird to fall in love with a baby. (Hint: It IS weird, no matter what he will say!)

7.) Fake engagement and wedding pics of Kristen and Rob. Oh I can just imagine the awesome “journalistic” articles that will get published along with those pics. Right OK! mag, People Magazine and all your other friends?

8.) Pictures of Kristen as Bella wearing an absolutely DAZZLING wedding dress. I mean come on, we were already MAJORLY disappointed when it came to that ugly engagement ring. We NEED that dress to be STUNNING!

9.) The official Robsten sex-tape leaked right after they leave Brasil. Come on dear maids at their hotel right now, you can make it happen!

10.) Secret surprise project I’m currently working on. Can’t talk about it yet but I hope it will blow your minds once it’s ready to go public. Just you wait!

a

See? There might not be another Twilight movie for the next 12 months but that doesn’t mean I can’t come up with stuff to write about! It’s gonna be EPIC!

a

Off to wait for the Midnight Sun leak

Soul

Read Full Post »

Overdue since July: the Eclipse Review

Gosh, just writing down that headline makes me realize how much I failed at blogging lately… Actually I plan on making a top as well as a flop ten list for Eclipse just like we did with New Moon cause I thought that was a pretty cool idea. There are a few general thoughts though that probably won’t make it into any of those lists but still have to be mentioned so I decided they get their own post. Here we go!

I didn’t really like Eclipse. There, I said it. Now you can go and hate on me. I don’t care. It’s my opinion and I’m not gonna take it back. I mentioned it about a million times back in the day that I was neither as excited nor as hyped up for Eclipse as I was for New Moon. That’s not what I’m talking about here though.

Eclipse - Welcome to the land of bad wigs and general awkwardness

About a week ago I watched Eclipse again cause I thought maybe I just had missed all the awesomeness the first time. I hadn’t. I mean, I DID realize some really good stuff (like all the little Alice and Jasper moments) but all in all that movie is just full of awkwardness and out of character moments. More about those in the flop ten list! In general I would say I just didn’t get the Eclipse feeling. (Yep Kiyoka, I agree with you on that one!) Of course this is a movie and it’s only natural it can’t be EXACTLY like the book but I felt like all my favorite scenes had been left out or changed and all the annoying and bad ones had been left in the script. I mean HELLO? NO ALICE KIDNAPS BELLA SCENE? No completely what the heck Edward bribed her with a yellow Porsche moment? FAIL!!! And that’s just one of many more examples. I can live with lots of changes. Edward’s Volvo is charcoal instead of silver? Fine. Angela dates Eric instead of Ben? Alright. Everyone of the vampires has a totally different haircut and color in each of the movies? Oh well. None of that ruined it for me. As I said I just didn’t get the Eclipse feeling like I should have. Remember reading it for the first time? What was it like for you? When I think back the following thing come to my mind: romantic overload, sexy make-out scenes (hello there leg hitch!), oh no he dihin’t, oh so sweet, fight scenes, oh no she dihin’t, most romantic thing EVER, I want Edward as my bf, I love the Cullens, backstories FTW, Victoria ROCKS as an enemy. Yeah, I know that were just random words but that’s how my feelings develop usually. In a random chain of single words that are a complete mess. Haha, sorry. But if you know me that shouldn’t really surprise you. If I made a thought chain for Eclipse the movie it would probably look something like this: Oh no they dihin’t leave that out, OMG the wigs, SO unrealistic Bella, as if you would ever do that, OMG the wigs, since when do I want to do NEITHER Edward NOR Jacob, awkwardness to the max, gosh I think I might fall asleep soon, cheesiness overload, OMG the wigs, who the heck said KStew could act, awkwardness to the max, so not excited. Kinda sad, right? Please don’t hate on me though. Or at least not until you’ve read the top and flop ten lists next week. Cause yes, there WERE things that I liked after all!

a

Eclipse the book, our love stays untarnished forever!

Soul

a

PS: Chelle, I know you’ve been DYING to read my review ever since July. I’m honestly sorry I kept you waiting that long girl. So I’ll post the top and flop ten list next week. Plus they might include some of the “special secret information” you passed on to me concerning the Bella eyebrows!

a

What were your Eclipse thoughts? Has your first impression changed after watching it again a while later? We wanna know about it! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

Read Full Post »

Let’s get hyped up for Eclipse! Oh no, you’ve already seen it? How could I forget that?

Okay, maybe you’ve already watched Eclipse once. Or twice. Or multiple times. But I haven’t so I decided the right thing to get me even more excited is to have a look at some new Eclipse clips. Here they come.

a

The one where Victoria and Riley ALMOST get it on

Okay, you all know I got some issues with that whole Rachelle Lefevre being kicked out thing. I’ll get used to it. Someday. I just wish they hadn’t made Bryce put on a wig. I mean hello? She’s a NATURAL redhead, so where’s the point? Whatever. I kinda wish they had kissed in that scene because Riley and Victoria are a HOT couple!

a

The one where they have a sex-talk

Charlie is so much win here! Billy Burke NAILS it! But… I hate Bella’s greasy hair here. Yeah, big surprise since I mentioned how much I hate that wig about 1735 times over the last 3 weeks. Plus Kristen’s acting? I mean, where was it? One word: Unconvincing! She didn’t seem embarrassed AT ALL. WTF? I’m so not dazzled… FAIL!

a

The one where they try to fight

Hello there! I love me some good fight scenes! The Emmet Jasper one? So good! This might be one of the top three scenes that make me understand all those (read: 12.4) Team Jasper members out there. Honestly, he IS cool and sexy and awesome here. WIN! It was about time he got some magic moments in those movies!

a

Off to watch that fight scene another 184 times

Soul

a

What is your Eclipse count? How many times have you already watched Eclipse? How hot is Jasper in that fight scene? How much does Charlie rock that sex-talk? And how bad is Kristen’s acting in comparison? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube)

Read Full Post »

Eclipse red carpet: The Highs and Lows

Hi there everyone! Did you miss me? Probably not. Honestly, I didn’t publish a proper post yesterday plus I’m almost twelve hours late today. I had a really bad conscience feeling like I had kinda walked out on you all but then I logged in and saw… THAT WE HAD THE MOST VISITORS WE EVER HAD! Seriously? I get rewarded for being MIA? Until yesterday the day that I posted the secret forbidden Eclipse stills was the one where we got the most hits. But then our numbers today beat that BY FAR. So I decided… to stop blogging for two weeks because following the statistics that would mean 1 000 readers more. Haha, just kidding. Climb off that skyscraper again and do NOT jump off it! Just kidding. Here comes your well deserved red carpet recap!

Cutest family of the day award: The Pattinsons

a

Cutest couple of the day award: Peter Facinelli and his wife Jennie Garth

a

Un-cutest couple of the day award: Nikki Reed and Elizabeth Reaser

So Liz and Nikki wore… basically nothing. It’s not as obvious in this pic than in most of the others but Elizabeth’s dress was completely see-through. I nicknamed it the “naked dress”. Well, wearing that sure is ONE way to get attention. I would say Nikki’s made her look like a swan only swans are breathtakingly elegant and majestic and Nikki is… not.

a

Random pics of (sometimes not so) pretty dresses

So, I don’t know about you but as far as I’m concerned Anna and Bryce WIN! I love Dakota’s dress as well only she’s always so pale that overall it makes her seem kinda colorless. Dress is awesome, but I would have loved if she had worn a little color. Sorry for the crappy pic of Kristen’s dress but it was the only one where you could see the backline. Ashley Greene had one of her fashion fail moments and showed up in a toga that could well have covered it all up had she been 4 months pregnant. Just saying. Also, to say this hurts my heart, but for me worst dressed of the evening was Stephenie Meyer. By far. I know she can’t compete with all those skinny Hollywood girls but still… come on! I have seen her in everyday clothes and she’s always so well dressed then. But this burgundy thing kinda reminded me of those medieval markets where people wear costumes. No idea why. Next time Steph, just wear your slightly elegant everyday attire and you’ll look great!

a

Random pics involving hot guys

oooooo Kellan WINS! What a classic, elegant outfit! Matched his new dark hair so well! Also (and I know Zelda will love to hear that and love me so much more) I gotta admit I really like Jackson’s outfit. The feathery thing looks like something I would wear in my hair but still in contrary to his MTV Movie Awards aqua jacket, this is a HUGE improvement! I can’t say I hated Rob’s look, not at all. Standing between all those black and grey wearing guys he… stuck out. While all on his own or with Stewie it looked fine. But to be honest, that burgundy suit made me think of Las Vegas weddings EVERY SINGLE TIME…

a

a

a

Random thought concerning the red carpet

No idea if that occurred to someone else beside myself but Kristen wore a white dress. You know what that means, right? TONS of brand new “Rob and Kristen engaged – the fairytale wedding” pictures. I bet THIS is going to be their engagement pic!

a

Personal highlight of the day: Nikki gets pissed off

I know this is a Rob interview. And I know this is hard. But please just completely ignore Rob for a moment. I promise you will get rewarded! Click play and then look at Nikki Reed and Nikki Reed only during the first 15 seconds. Bahaha, how hilarious is it that Rob’s bodyguard told her to back off and she pulled the ultimate bitchface live on the Eclipse red carpet! Awesome!

a

Off to check if we lose visitors now that I’m back in action

Soul

a

Did you watch the Eclipse red carpet premiere via live stream? Where you there to witness it all in person? What were your personal highlights and lowlights? Let us know! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Twitter, gettyimages, Twifans)

Read Full Post »

How Twitter dazzled me with the Eclipse press junket

Sorry gals for being a little behind on stuff. I KNOW there were tons of Eclipse press junkets plus Rob on Leno and countless other stuff. To catch up quickly on most of that without letting good stuff out, I decided to do an Eclipse press junket round-up via Twitter. Aka I took screenshots of tweets from people who where at all the important events (like let’s say the Eclipse Con). Ready? Go! Oh, another thing before we start! Just in case you re not familiar with the awesomeness that is the twitters. If there are multiple tweets following each other you gotta read from bottom to top. Now let’s get this party started, shall we?

There is so much epicness in these tweets it’s unbelievable! First of all THUMBS UP for Rob for making fun of the awkwardness that is the Renesmee imprint in Breaking Dawn. And then Taylor’s retort? Priceless! I can so see KStew starting to panick thinking poor little Taytay might spill the beans about Robsten. Bahaha, I wish I had been there! This little conversation alone would have been worth it! BEST ECLIPSE PRESS JUNKET MOMENT OF ALL TIME!

Alright, I had my problems with Bryce right from the start. Not because of her personally but because of the huge Rachelle Lefevre Gate. Most of her appearances lately have convinced me that she’s really into the books and wanted to assure a certain continuity when it comes to playing Victoria. And right when I’m about to actually like her… she comes up with this. Uhm, not being good at anything else is NOT the best reason to become an actress. Just saying…

Uh huh… LMAO. Honestly Jackson? This is your attempt at being funny? Are you kidding me? Probably not seeing that you also think you make serious, good music with the 100 Monkeys…

Hehe, you know why Rob and Kris said Twilight, right? Cause of that steamy bedroom scene where they got “carried away” for the first time. You also know why Taylor had to say Eclipse, no? Cause he was barely present in Twilight plus he gets to kiss Kristen in this one. Plus he is legal now in states other than Georgia which means he is finally free from Chris Hansen. Which means he can finally get it on with a woman of his choice who shows him how it’s done. Or a man of his choice. Whichever he wants. (Sorry, you know me. I just couldn’t resist! )

So, how obvious is it that this was a shout-out to Kristen that he wants a son? Soon? Do you think his mum Clare asked him to throw that in there? And how many “Is Kristen pregnant?” / “RPatz says he can’t wait for a Robsten lovechild” will we get just because of this?

Bryce the Twimom? WIN! Do you think she has a red carpet in her basement? Oh no, wait, she can walk REAL red carpets. But maybe she’s trying to turn her son into a Twikid? Or it’s just the fact that NOTHING is cooler than to own a Barbie who looks exactly like yourself.

THUMBS UP for KStew acknowledging the shitty Bella-wig! Even though I gotta admit I’m a little worried. If wearing that wig meant she was unable to run her fingers through her hair… then how did she act? I mean, isn’t lip-biting and hair touching what she usually tries to sell us as acting? Can’t wait to see how she tried to compensate that. Maybe by *GASP* REAL acting?

Kristen is a good cook? Yay, domestic Stew LIVES! I kinda wanna try a piece of that pie. Also can you imagine Kris cooking for the whole cast? I so wanna have pics! How sweet is that? Plus you know what that “the way to a man’s heart” means, right? Either that Alex is now in love with her or… it was just another indirect Robsten dropper. Or third option: Alex wanted the Robstens to THINK it was a hint to have a good laugh when they all freaked out.

BAM! Remember Summit when you said all that shit about only re-shooting minor scenes? YOU DAMN LIARS! The tent scene? Have you read the book? The tent scene is CRUCIAL! The most important thing second only to the leg-hitch! You people just don’t get it! Good David Slade does though! Thumbs up little guy for making it more erotic! WIN!

a

I blame Summit! For everything! Because they deserve it!

Soul

a

These were only a few of the highlights. What were your favorite moments of all those Eclipse press events? Please let us know! It’s hard to keep up with EVERYTHING for me, so I might have missed some of the good stuff. Help me out and send me your personal favorites and fails! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: screenshots from my Twitter timeline)

Read Full Post »

Before we talk about the Eclipse soundtrack…

Uhm, did you notice that? How I always write a title for this week’s posts and then blog about something completely different? Yeah, I’m sorry! So I know the Eclipse soundtrack is finally out and yes, I WILL write about it. Not today though. There are still no YouTube videos of the Movie Awards that are in any acceptable quality because they keep taking them down. (Honestly MYV, how lame can you be?) By the time we finally get good vids that stay up longer than five hours it’ll probably be super lame to talk about the awards cause everyone will have seen all the good stuff approximately 153 times already. So if you wanna watch the highlights go to MTV and check it all out there. I’ll present you my personal highlights RIGHT NOW simply assuming that you have watched all the important stuff and know what I refer to. I know that’s kinda lame but I’m tired of waiting… Here we go!

Look who's smiling

Rob thanking his parents for “conceiving” him? Uhm, that kinda weirds me out… And then can please talk about how awkward it was when Rob and Kristen pulled of that “we pretend to be kissing but never actually do it” thing just like they did last year only way more strange? Did anyone else have the impression that Rob suddenly was like “Oh fuck it, I’m just gonna ninja-kiss her by surprise now”? And then the behind the scenes bit where he said he had so many ideas for accepting their best kiss award but they just didn’t work? I would pay serious money to know what those “ideas” where… seriously! Huge thumbs up for Kristen who smiled throughout the whole evening even when she ALMOST fell down right before getting on stage. I still wish they hadn’t done that strange kissing thing right after that though. NOTHING can top that ALMOST fall down, not even ALMOST kissing. Plus it was awkward as hell. Wait, I already said that? Nevermind. And then there was Peter Facinelli’s awesome acceptance speech when New Moon won best movie and he said the f-word like 27 times, beating the MTV censorship people and managed to get 9 out of 27 “fucking”s out before they pressed the beep button. WIN! Do you think Summit threatens him now to kick him out? With the justification that Daddy Carlisle would never say the dirty f-word? You know those Summit people are lame like that… Best part though was when he said:

Stephenie Meyer, I’m not gonna curse you cause you’re Mormon.

Bahahaha, WIN WIN WIN! Peter, I might be a little in love with you after that… Oh and then there was the new Eclipse clip, of course. You know, THIS one:

There is so much I have to say about this trailer that it will get its very own post! I guess that’s all I gotta say right now. Oh no, wait, there’s one more thing: Dear Christina Aguilera, you can SING! So why did you feel the need to put a blinking, twinkling heart over you crotch? Just DON’T. Seriously!

a

Off to write a love-letter to Peter Facinelli

Soul

a

PS: Just in case you wondered where Ashley Greene was while everyone else attended the MTV Movie Awards… That’s where:

Don’t ask! Honestly, just don’t!

PPS: Seriously Jackson? Seriously???

a

What were your highlights of the MTV Movie Awards? And how awkward was that almost kiss? Plus do you think as well that Kristen’s hair was actually REALLY sleeked back before Rob said he wanted to “practice” one of his brilliant ideas in case they win on the car ride to the red carpet? Whatever it is, leave a comment or e-mail us!

(video: YouTube; images: MTV)

Read Full Post »

Funny Monday stuff: MTV Movie Awards special

There was just too much at yesterday’s Movie Awards to pack it all into only one post. So today is funny Monday stuff special edition and tomorrow I’ll recap all the rest! Now let’s start! Oh and before you ask: Yes, Peter Facinelli’s acceptance speech was one of the funniest moments but I’ll save that for tomorrow…

Actually the funny stuff started days ago when THIS version of the seating chart was spread all over Twitter:

Bahaha, how brilliant would that have been? And who would have been the poor bloke sitting between them and getting all the Robsten hate? Tom Stu? KStew’s or Rob’s agent? Someone from those super dumb Jersey Shore people? LMAO! Turned out it was true though. This pic from yesterday evening proves it… what a pity!

In other news: Look at Rob’s jacket! And look closely! I would swear it’s the one he wears in the Eclipse poster! Do you think he stole borrowed it after the photoshoot? Cause I think he did! Just saying…

OMG, did you see that Les Grossman skit? Taylor and Rob wearing pornstaches aviator sunglasses Miami Vice style? Crazy shit! This might be my new desktop background… Just joking. Or maybe not? You’ll never know!

Now let’s go on with the most awkward but somehow nevertheless adorable moment of this very Twi evening: Kristen and Rob winning best kiss. Honestly, look at these pics!

This one looks as if they’re about to wrestle. Or to do the chicken dance. I can’t quite decide.

Then this is the one where Kristen bitchslaps Rob. Well, kinda… Before Rob goes on and tries to hit La Stew over the head with the golden popcorn. At least that’s what it looks like here…

And because I’m awesome like that, I saved the best for last! I know that’s not chronologically but whatever. This is my blog so I make the rules here! If I wanna post sexy Sunday’s Brunch on Monday I will! And if I wanna do funny Monday stuff on Tuesday I will do so as well! So now enjoy the awesomeness that’s Kristen and Rob getting up on stage to accept their award!

Kristen ALMOST falling down and then turning around to Rob making me think she’s about to hit him (and to hit him HARD -TWSS-) but then almost hugging him. I bet she was like “Damn, couldn’t you have done that Edward lifting me up by my arm thing from the prom scene?” Ah, I kinda wanna use this one as my new desktop background. That would RULE!

So did you get your Monday laughs? I hope so! But hey, don’t forget to tune in tomorrow when we chat up Jackson’s super awkward aqua jacket he wore on the red carpet, Peter Facinelli beating the MTV censor people with the beep button and why Breaking Dawn will most definitely win the WTF-moment award in 2012!

a

Just as awkward as I thought it would be… but I loved it nevertheless!

Soul

a

What were your favorite moments at this year’s MTV Movie Awards? Ups? Downs? Favorite looks? Thumbs up for Rob NOT showing up in a misbuttoned shirt! Don’t you agree his jeans jacket looks somehow familiar though? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Robsessed and Twitter)

Read Full Post »

MTV Movie Awards countdown: We break down the highlights

Hint: This involves super cute and hot videos of Rob so it most definitely counts as a sexy Sunday’s Brunch as well!

Okay, well… the awards won’t start until tonight and we probably won’t be able to break it all down before Tuesday. BUT to get us all into the right mood I thought it would be great to go back and remind us all of last year’s highlights. As you may have noticed, we weren’t around back then yet. So I’m proud to say I finally found an occasion on which I can make fun of countless things that happened a year ago and make them seem oh so up to date. Ready? GO!

a

The one where we get all excited for New Moon

This might be my favorite Kristen look ever! That dress with the Converse? THAT’S fashion! I was so damn excited for that trailer. And for New Moon. To be honest, I’m not even half as excited for Eclipse as I was for New Moon back then… And that trailer KILLED me! The best thing was that I watched the trailer about six hours early when it suddenly popped up on YouTube. I was even fast enough to watch it three times alone, then three times with my sister and two times alone again before they took it down. HAHA, IN YOUR FACES SUMMIT PEOPLE! Oh and Taylor, you were right about the DVRs. Who would NOT wanna watch that trailer over and over again with the birthday kiss and you shirtless? SO MUCH WIN!

a

The one where they ALMOST kiss

Bahaha, I so love this one. I mean, not the almost kiss itself but the way I imagine millions of girls all over the planet while watching this. All the Robstens going like “IN YOUR FACES NONSTENS” as they get closer and closer to each other and then all the Nonstens going like “IN YOUR FACES ROBSTENS” as they stop and NOT kiss. I so would wanna see a video of all those girls’ faces put together when they saw this. That would be so damn hilarious! Can someone please make that happen and then send me the link? Awesome!

a

The one where Kristen’s just as awkward as I thought she would be

My favorite by far! Rob’s face when she drops her award? Priceless! I could watch this over and over again and it would be just as funny as the first time even after the 497th time! Some things just NEVER get old…

So I hope I got you into the mood right now to yet another MTV award show full of awkward Kristen moments, cute Rob laughs and Twilight all over it. Even though it would be kinda funny if Kristen wins best kiss not for New Moon but for her hot fake lesbian kiss with Dakota in the Runaways… We’ll see! And then blog about it!

a

Here’s to being just as awkward as you thought you would be!

Soul

a

What are you most looking forward to at the MTV Movie Awards? What were your favorite moments last year? Mine was Kristen’s award drop and Rob accepting his award without realizing he misbuttoned his shirt yet again. Brilliant! Now leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube)

Read Full Post »

Zelda to the Rescue: A guide to Australia

Yesterday I saw pics of Kristen in Australia. And I got the slight feeling she’s not doing that well and really needs our help! Want proof? Here!

So when I saw these pics I immediately rounded up Zelda who has (as you may know by now) spent about 8 months in Australia back in the days when we had no idea such wonderful things as sparkly vampires existed. aka the time when we still had real lives. It took her all of ten seconds to come up with this wonderful guide to help out Kristen and Taylor and make their trip to Australia truly unforgettable:

a

The Zelda-Guide to Happiness in Down-Under

(Uhm yeah, that DID sound kinda dirty. You CAN add that’s what she said here… sorry! Or no, not sorry. I totally did that on purpose. You could have seen that Down-Under joke coming though, you know me by now! )

NO! DON'T! Cause NO ONE will lick it off! That stuff is disgusting as hell!

1. Do NEVER let anyone talk you into trying vegemite. Ever. Cause it doesn’t taste good. At all. Trust me! Just don’t!

2. “Thong” has a different meaning as in other countries.  So before you say it, google it! Or better: look it up at Urban Dictionary. Now!

3. When watching TV in your hotel rooms you might discover that every five minutes you will see the exact same five commercials. You got two options: Get even MORE pissed than you already are judged by the pics above or just starting to sing along cause you will know them by heart in less than one day anyway. I bet Taylor will choose option two. We all know how much he likes to sing, so don’t spoil him all the fun, Kristen!

4. Beware of all the highly poisonous snakes / spiders / cockroaches / scorpions / various other insects that might hide in your shoes / clothes / beds… Well, basically EVERYWHERE. To help you to keep that in mind, learn the following song by heart:

5. Everyone always says “bloody hell” so it’s perfectly fine to talk all hardcore, Kristen.

6. Most washing machines only wash with COLD water. Which means the stains from the night before will NOT vanish. So if you want to cover up your latest pub-tour just put on a new shirt!

7. Coming to speak of pubs: CONGRATS! You are in a country where the legal drinking age is 18!!! This means you are both free to get drunk as hell as long as you don’t plan on driving. After Taylor’s confession on Oprah that he never smoked or drank alcohol, we were a bit worried to be honest. I mean, you have to get drunk at least ONCE in your life. Right? And Kristen, we think you might just be the perfect person to introduce little Taytay to liquor! And hangovers. Vodka and coke on tap might be a good start. Or try Jagerbombs. Like several. They could make a Jagertrain for you! We know Taylor likes spectacular stuff, that’s why he’s always doing those martial arts tricks, right?

But we know you actually like it hardcore (TWSS) so why not try goon as well? Four liter wine for only five dollar! Includes fish, egg and leftovers of milk (whatever that means) plus ensures you major drunkness and the worst hangover EVER! Go slap the goon, Kristen!

Alright dear Taylor and Kristen, that’s all for now! If you should need more of Zelda’s precious Australia tips, just give us a call! Also please feel free to print this out, laminate and then carry with you every single second of the rest of your Australia trip. And could you please write down “We love How to Dazzle” on the back so that everyone can see it? Awesome! You’re welcome!

a

Your personal travel guide girls

Zelda & Soul

a

Have you ever been to Australia? What are your tips for Taylor and Kristen? Anything important Zelda forgot to mention? And how awesome is it that she spent 8 months Down-Under (I truly missed her so much!) so we can now give out all those Aussie insider knowledge? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(videos: YouTube; images: Google and JustJared)

Read Full Post »