Posted in Alice, Ashley Greene, Breaking Dawn, Bryce D. Howard, Catherine Hardwicke, Emmett, Kellan Lutz, Rachelle Lefevre, Summit, Victoria, tagged Alice, Ashley Greene, bad wig, BFF, Breaking Dawn, Bryce Dallas Howard, Catherine Hardwicke, Cathy Hardi, Cathy the Cougar, cougar, Eclipse, Eclipse soundtrack, Emmett, hair, Hollywood, Justin Bieber, Kellan Lutz, Kristen, Kristen Stewart, KStew, MTV, mtv awards, Rachelle Lefevre, rob, Rob Pattinson, RPatz, soundtrack, Summit, Victoria, wig on May 12, 2010 |
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Over the last few days Hollywood Reporter and Hollywood Insider reported that the only thing holding up an official announcement of Breaking Dawn actually being made into two movies is… money. Big surprise, I know. So they said Ashey and Kellan want 4 million $. What? WTF? They want 4 million $ for two lines? For being in five scenes? That’s worth 4 mio? Dang, I definitely picked the wrong job!
Don't make the same mistake twice Summit
Then Summit said they might just kick out one of two to solve the whole problem. Uhm, what? I mean okay, Alice is gone for half of the book anyway and except for the armwrestling match there’s basically nothing that would make Emmett’s presence really necessary. But… Remember the last time you kicked someone out Summit? And yes, that most definitely is a reference to the Victoria debacle! Remember how that one ended? Yep, just like everything else… With a BAD WIG! And with me writing countless post where I throw in Rachelle Lefevre and her portrayal of Victoria and her wonderful hair and the fact that I wanna be BFFs with her.
Don't bring The Cougar back as Alice
So no Summit, I do NOT think that it’s a good idea to kick Ashley and Kellan out and instead equip Cathy Hardi with an alice and an Emmett wig. I KNOW she would love to return to the Twilight universe aka Rob and tons of other hot shirtless guys. Cause we all know that she’s a cougar like that and would do ANYTHING for that. But… JUST NO! Period! You made bazillions with this whole franchise and even though I do not think that they really deserve 4 million $ for their minor roles I think that you can still come up with a solution that does NOT involve anyone getting kicked out. So solve that shit please! We already got more than enough drama being conjured up in this fandom, we don’t need a new version of the Victoria debacle. Kthxbye!
Just another short note: I’m fully aware that today they will announce all the artists on the Eclipse soundtrack plus the nominees for the MTV Movie Awards. And yes, I plan on posting about it. On Friday. Because tomorrow is… yep, Rob’s birthday! So come back tomorrow for the huge party I’ll throw here! And then on Friday when we can chat up all the other Twi-News aka Kristen getting nominated TWICE in the best kiss category and Justin Bieber writing a song for the Eclipse soundtrack… Just kidding! Well, about the Bieber kid at least!
Off to get the party hats out
So what do you think about the whole Kellan-Ashley-Summit-drama? And the MTV nominations for New Moon? and the soundtrack? Leave a comment or e-mail me!
(images: Polyvore and Google)
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Posted in funny Monday stuff, Robert Pattinson, tagged Arielle, Batman, celebrity, Christian Bale, Disney, drunk, Edward, Edward Cullen, Eric, funny Monday stuff, holiday, Jacob, Paul, Prince Eric, prostitute, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, RPattz, Taylor Lautner, Tyra Banks on January 4, 2010 |
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After the holiday it’s work again now. Therefor we show you another episode of funny Monday stuff to start the week with a few laughs. So without further ado, here we go!
Uhm, yes you do! Even though this one really looks like the typical celebrity I-got-caught-drunk-driving-with-a-prostitute-right-next-to-me-in-my-car pic. Sorry to say. Wonder why this makes you look so damn hot nevertheless…
Yep Rob, brilliant idea! You in that super tight bat-suit, mmmm… I mean, it’s not that Christian Bale wasn’t hot and stuff as well though. Just saying.
Screw prince Eric! Who wants him anyway if you can have Edward Cullen? Or wait, I had a crush on prince Eric. I wanted to marry him in a beautiful white dress and all. Okay, but that was when I was about six years old… So I guess I’d rather take Edward now as well. Sorry, but you’ll have to share Arielle…
How can it be that we never posted the Rob and Taylor on Tyra Banks’ show video? Cause it’s hilarious. We’re gonna do that soon, promise! Not that everyone has’nt already seen it about ten times… Seems like a so much younger Rob. And biting Tyra live on TV was kind of hot. Would have been even hotter if it was me though. Oh, and it’s a so much younger Taylor as well. Less buff. Wonder if this was the first time I thought “Damn, he’s hot”. Not quite sure…
I’d never thought I’d say that, but if there’s no Edward (and no Jacob and no Paul…) then yes: Sometimes a Disney life sucks!
That’s it, the Disney Rob edition of funny Monday stuff after we ALMOST forgot it last week…
Off to my NOT Disney life
Do you have to start working again today like I do? Do you want to have prince Eric now that Arielle’s out of the way? Do you think that first pic looks like Rob has been caught by the cops? Leave a comment or send an e-mail!
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Posted in Breaking Dawn, Edward Cullen, googling Twi-stuff, Jacob Black, Kristen Stewart, plaid, Robert Pattinson, Stephenie Meyer, werewolves, tagged abs, audition tape, bed sheets, Breaking Dawn, creepy uncle Rob, Disney, Edward, Edward Cullen, Forever Dawn, gay, grandfather, Heineken, Heineken bottles, Indian teenagers, Indians, Isle Esme, Kirsten Dunst, Kristen Stewart, KStew, kwop kilawtley, leak, make-up, naked, New Moon, New Year, photoshoot, plaid, plaid bed sheets, Pocahontas, pub, Quileute, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, Robsten, RPattz, sexy, shirtless, sparkle, Stephenie Meyer, Stoli, stoli shirt, stuffed animal wolf, Tom Stu, Tom Sturridge, tweed, Twi-blogging, Twilight, Twilight audition, Twilight themed, vodka, wedding, WILF, Zelda on January 3, 2010 |
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Actually I planned this post for our two months of Twi-blogging, but that would have been on december 31st in the middle of all the New Year’s stuff. That’s why I decided to post it a bit later. Remember we did this once before, showing you what people googled when they found our blog? Most of the time it’s normal things like Robsten or Kwop Kilawtley but sometimes we find really rare gems like the ones I’ll tell you now…
Shirtless Indians aka The ultimate WILFs
shirtless indians: Oh yes, who doesn’t love them? You should go and watch New Moon. Again. Because there you gonna find loads of shirtless Quileute teenagers. With awesome abs. There’s probably no other movie with more shirtless Indians. Or wait? Weren’t there quite a few in Disney’s Pocahontas? Hm, I bet they’re abs weren’t as hot though… and they have definitely NOT been the ultimate WILFs. Maybe this got sth. to do with the fact that I didn’t have the slightest idea what WILFs could be back then…
breaking dawn leak: Uhm, Breaking Dawn is already out! Where did you live the last months? Okay, don’t worry. Just go to the nearest bookstore and catch up with the story. In case you were simply confused and actually meant Forever Dawn, then we got to disappoint you. It has not leaked… yet. But we’re working on it!
kirsten dunst: Oh yeah, the good old times when Zelda always mixed up Kirsten Dunst and Kristen Stewart. And didn’t even know Rob’s name. How I miss them sometimes…
twilight first dawn wedding leak: What? That one kind of confused me. Are you maybe researching for your Twilight themed wedding? Wanna send us pictures so we can make fun of it? No? What a pity…
sparkle like edward cullen: That one’s easy! Only thing you have to do is apply let’s say at least five bottles of shimmering body lotion. Done! Wanna complete the look? Use the whole Edward Cullen make-up collection and wear your grandfather’s tweed suit. Done and done!
Four out of five Heineken bottles!
robert pattinson favorite drink: According to his beloved shirt it’s probably Stoli vodka. But we heard rumors that he loves Heineken quite a lot as well. And that’s how we rate things, in Heineken bottles. In honor to Rob. Yeah, pretty cool, I know!
twilight audition tape: The one with creepy Uncle Rob? Consider yourself lucky you didn’t find it here. Cause honestly, would you really like to see that version of Rob kissing me Kstew? Noticed I didn’t even embed the picture here but only post a link? There are good reasons for this, believe me!
how to meet rob pattinson: Hm, we can’t really help you there. We can tell you what to do if you stumble across Rob in a pub next to you though. But hey, if you find out how to meet him, let us know!
rob pattinson tom sturridge gay: No, don’t worry. I can’t tell for sure in Tom Sturridge’s case but as far as Rob is concerned I can assure you he’s not gay. I have to know. Cause he spent the night with me. In my bed. You know, the one with the plaid bed-sheets…
Stephenie Meyer being sexy... and thinking of Edward
sexy stephenie meyer: Why are there so many people out there googling this? What did you expect? Half naked photoshoots from the time before she became famous? I have no idea if this satisfies you (that’s what she said) but just in case I’m gonna post the only sexy Stephenie Meyer pic again. The one where she’s thinking of Edward and her on Isle Esme. No honestly, trust me, I can tell that she really is. Cause I can see it in her eyes!
where could I buy a stuffed animal wolf: An ordinary stuffed animal wolf? Uhm… everywhere! The one that turns into a hot shirtless teenage Indian with killer abs when you kiss him? Well, that one’s a bit more difficult to get…
Off to google crazy Twi-stuff… just for fun, you know…
So how have you found our blog? Are you planning a Twilight themed wedding? Or did you get a stuffed animal wolf that turns into Jacob when you kiss him? Tell us everything! Leave a comment or e-mail us!
(images: google and me)
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Posted in Kristen Stewart, plaid, Real life, Robert Pattinson, tagged boobs, Carlie, fake ID, fangirls, hair, Heineken, hood, Hot Pockets, Kristen Stewart, KStew, ladies night, leak, letters to twilight, martial arts, New Year's Eve, plaid, Real life, Rob Pattinson, Rob's sex-tape, Robsten, RPattz, sex-tape, sex-tapes, Soul's cousin, Stoli, undercover on January 2, 2010 |
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Kristen NOT spoiling the picture
Have you seen those pics that little girl took with KStew and Rob on New Year’s Eve? Guess you have, but I bet you don’t know the real story behind them! But before I tell you, let’s have a look at the pictures again! Kristen left her hood on and I actually wanted to say she is completely spoiling the pic but then I noticed she is laughing. Well, kind of… Which is pretty unusual for her so I’ll take it back and NOT say she ruins it.
Hobo-Rob almost spoiling the pic (Well he would if he weren't Rob)
Okay, now let’s hop over to the second photo this talented little girl took. Tadah, same place, same time , same little girl but… with Rob! Who left his hood on as well, is not smiling at all and could be a random hobo from all we get to see in this photo. Honestly, if I should ever take a pic with Rob it shouldn’t look like this. At all. I would want him to be hot and smiling at me. Or at least be staring at my boobs like he did with that other fangirl. So now she can say “I met Rob and he obviously liked my boobs”, pretty good story for a ladies night I think… So this kid (let’s call her Carlie!) looked so unsuspicious that first Kstew and then Rob took pictures with her. They could have taken one all three together but no, they obviously didn’t want the world to know that they were spending New Year’s Eve together. Haha, they can’t fool smart Carlie though. That’s why she threw those pics out in the internet and so everyone knows Kristen and Rob rang in 2010 together. Never underestimate little girls! Oh and hey, did I mention that Carlie looks exactly like my cousin? Well, she does! The hair, the smile, the clothes…
Hello you two down there...
Wait, what I actually wanted to say is “Did I mention this little girl is my cousin?” Cause of course she is (*false*)! I trained her to become a secret agent. She knows all kinds of martial arts, how to dress up as someone else, how to get a fake ID, how to work undercover and how to break into someone’s house, find the hidden sex-tapes and steal them. Cause Carlie is awesome like that. She can totally pull off the trustworthy little girl and then leak the secret New Year’s pics on the internet. I even taught her how to make Kristen laugh. Even though I have absolutely no idea how I did it. Fake ID? Hidden sex-tape? Easy stuff compared to making KStew laugh. Maybe this had something to do with the fact that she was looking forward to spending New Year’s Eve with Rob. Wonder what they were planning to do… Making their dream-dinner consisting of at least six different kinds of Hot Pockets plus Heinekens plus Stoli vodka? Wearing all their favorite plaid shirts at the same time in at least 4 layers? Yep, probably something like that. Sorry Carlie, I can’t give you alone credit for the Stew-smile. Let’s say fifty percent for you and fifty for Rob. That sounds fair, right? Nevertheless, well done! So you know what to do now! We talked it all through, remember? First the pics, then the tape. So go on, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!
Off to wait for Carlie to come back home with Rob’s sex-tape
So what do you think about Carlie and her pics? Did you find it as hilarious as I did when I found out a 13year old girl’s photos made the Robstens go crazy? What would you want your “me meeting Rob” pic to look like? Do you have a Rob sex-tape? Whatever it is, we want to know! So leave a comment or e-mail us!
(images: Letterstotwilight, Twicrackaddict and Carlie)
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Posted in Bella Swan, Chatting it up, Edward Cullen, fashion, Kristen Stewart, Real life, Robert Pattinson, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight, tagged action figures, Bella, Bella Swan, BUnny, Chatting it up, Edward, Edward Cullen, fake name, French, gayward, HTD, ICQ conversation, khaki skirt, Kristen Stewart, KStew, letters to twilight, mullet, New Year, Ray Bans, Real life, Rob Pattinson, RPattz, scientifical study, SMeyer, Soul, stardolls, Stephenie Meyer, styling queen, Taylor Lautner, Twilight, Twilight-Blog, wigs, Zelda on January 1, 2010 |
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Do you know when the beginning of the new year makes you think about the old one? Yesterday when I went through all the stuff that happened to me in the last twelve months I realized that the most significant thing that really changed is the fact that I now run a Twilight-blog. I looked through all of Zelda and my old ICQ conversations to find out where it all started and came across an awful lot of hilarious things. So I decided to start a new series here at HTD called “Zelda and Soul chatting it up” where I’m gonna feature all or almost all our old conversations. Enjoy, cause it’s fun!
The one where we talk about making a scientifical study about Twilight and Zelda makes up words
Soul: you know the best thing about reading twilight? meeting my sister in our bathroom in the morning when she would suddenly start to freak out completely like “I go on reading and then I’m like what? stupid bitch Bella! I mean she just can’t…”
Zelda: haha, we should defs make a study about this! something like “The sex-specific impacts of reading pecarious situations in Stephenie Meyer’s modern novel Twilight”
Soul: oh yes, we should!
Zelda: not sure if pecarious is really a word though… okay I just tried to look it up… it isn’t
Soul: isn’t it pRecarious? try that one!
Zelda: Aah yes, you’re right! Nice! Well, you as the French pro should know that stuff
Soul: yeah, we’re such pros!
Zelda: no, you are a pro. I just make up words
Soul: nevermind! many famous people just make up words and basically no one ever notices
Zelda: haha, main thing is that it sounds intellectuel
Soul: yep, the rest doesn’t really matter. and hey, you came up with the fantabulous title for our new study. all just to give us a reason to force people to read the book of course^^
Zelda: haha, yep right!
Soul: we could film them. for scientifical reasons. and then laugh our asses of ten years from now while watching the tapes again
Zelda: oh yes, and then lets make an exclusive commentary to it!
Soul: and then we’re gonna sell it. damn, we’ll become so rich…
The one where we first talk about starting a blog and discover the fantabulous stardolls
Zelda: omg, we’re so creative
Soul: we need a blog for all our endless creativity. but then we also need an edward action figure to make super funny pics with
Zelda: guess my grandma could sew one for us
Soul: yeah, great! here you got the model
Zelda: oh my gosh, how cool is that? I can dress him!? haha, I’m making him an outfit right now^^ tan pullover and khaki pants, gaayyy… guess I’m making SMeyer proud with that one^^ or wait, even better: yellow tank top and black mesh wife-beater, oh yes!
Soul: you’re the edward styling queen! okay, I’ll make one and then send it to you
Guess who it is!
(five minutes later after I found out how to make screenshots)
Zelda: this has to be awesome! I mean you named the file gayward…
Soul: I’m feeling so creative right now, I just have to make a second one! or better, look what I found! there better is a khaki skirt or I’ll be waayy pissed!
Zelda: haha, go for it
Soul: okay, there’s an army dress
Zelda: oh my gosh, I just saw it. have you seen the bunny jacket? haha
Soul: why are there only highheels? I wanna dress her up as Bella and everyone knows Bella would never ever wear stilettos
Zelda: big fail!
Soul: yeah… and there isn’t even a Kstew black mullet wig… and why are there no ray bans for rob?
The one where we talk hate-mail and fake names
Zelda: maybe you should write them a mail… perhaps hate mail for not having the proper outfits on their page^^
Soul: yeah, publicly. on our new blog… I would’ve written down a name if I had one already…
Zelda: what about letterstoletterstotwilight, edward4president, bite me, screwworkillbecomevampire…
(two minutes and 11 suggestions later)
Soul: oh, and we need fake names!
Zelda: uhm Soul? are you serious right now? I mean this is not a joke? you’re a freak
okay, I wanna be edwardina… or thepecariousprincess… who do you wanna be?
Soul: hm, I don’t know… it defs has to be something cool and stylish. cause you know, I would never write such stuff under my real name
Zelda: yeah, you’re right. I mean, how embarrassing would that be?
Soul: haha, exactly! k, I gotta go catch some sleep now… and snuggle with my printed out gayward a bit…
Off to recover from the New Year’s celebrations…
So did you know about the fantabulous stardolls? They even added the Taylor Lautner one a few weeks ago. Did you know we considered calling our blog letterstoletterstotwilight? I guess this must have been the day Zelda realized that I was NOT joking about starting a blog… Wanna share your own stardoll creations? Or anything else? Leave a comment or send an e-mail!
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Posted in Alex Meraz, Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, funny Monday stuff, Jacob Black, Kellan Lutz, Kristen Stewart, Peter Facinelli, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, vampires, werewolves, tagged abs, Alex Meraz, Bella Swan, Christmas, Christmas tree, dreamcatcher, Edward Cullen, funny Monday stuff, funny Tuesday stuff, Heineken, holiday, Hot Pockets, hotness, Jacob Black, Kellan Lutz, Kristen Stewart, KStew, naked, New Moon, New Moon calendar, New Year's resolutions, Paul, Peter Facinelli, Rob Pattinson, RPattz, Santa, Shakira, She Wolf, shirtless, sparkle, sticker, tattoo, Taylor Lautner, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Paul, vampire, werewolf on December 29, 2009 |
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This is the first time we present you “funny Tuesday stuff”. Which is exactly the same as funny Monday stuff except that we post it on a tuesday. Because to be honest, I forgot yesterday was monday. Until about 2 pm I was convinced it was a saturday. Weird, I know, but that’s what holidays always do to me. I get confused with the date and days and stuff… So sorry! Here now one day late enjoy your funny Monday stuff… on a tuesday!
Uhm yeah, sorry Rob! I confess, I wanted Edward under my Christmas tree as well. Preferably wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Didn’t get him though, crap! But hey, I got a Alex Meraz shirtless dreamcatcher (which I may or may not have hung up over my bed), guess that’s enough hotness to deal with for once. I’ll just wait until next year to get Edward…
Yep Bella, he did! And he’s right! I mean, have you seen those guys? They’re hot. And fun. And you’re neither. Sorry to say… I would totally have chosen the wolfboys instead of a whiny klutz as well.
Edward dancing naked to Shakira’s She Wolf? Oh my gosh, if I could just show you all those pictures in my head right now, priceless.
I swear I’ve never seen this pic before or I would’ve made fun of it back then! They’re really all staring at KStew’s butt. Or is she showing them her “I drive like a Cullen and love guys that sparkle” tattoo? Or wait, this is Kristen, not Bella. So I guess she rather got a “I love Heinekens, Hot Pockets and guys that wear plaid” tattoo to impress Rob…
First of all, right at the moment I can’t really decide if I’m Team Jacob or Team Paul. Zelda’s the one who runs with the vamps. But if I ever switch back to Team Edward (the one I first started from) then this is definitely something I take into account. Cause honestly, no one can deny he has quite a nice butt…
Okay, so is this a special Christmas naked sexy butt edition of funny tuesday / monday stuff or what? Yep, I think so too! Sorry again for the delay! Guess I should get a New Moon calendar with all mondays marked with stickers of Rob’s butt or something…
Off to search the interwebs for crazy stickers showing Rob’s butt
Have you missed our funny Monday stuff yesterday? Or were you too distracted reading our New Year’s resolutions? Do you have stickers of Rob’s butt? Whatever it is, leave a comment or e-mail us!
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Posted in Contests, Edward Cullen, funny Monday stuff, Jackson Rathbone, Jacob Black, Kristen Stewart, Renesmee, Robert Pattinson, vampires, werewolves, tagged Bella Swan, Christmas, contest, Eclipse, Edward Cullen, funny Monday stuff, Harry Clearwater, heart-attack, Jackson Rathbone, Jacob Black, Kristen Stewart, KStew, kwop kilawtley, Paul, Ray Bans, Renesmee, Rob Pattinson, RPattz, sourpuss, sparkle, sunglasses, Taylor Lautner, Team Jacob, Team Paul, toddler, vampire, werewolf on December 21, 2009 |
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Okay, one last time before Christmas it’s time for our funny Monday stuff! So without further adieu, here we go:
Oh yes, I can totally understand that. No one gives you a heart-attack like an unbelievably hot vampire does. Ask Harry Clearwater (RIP). He knows what I’m talking about…
Perfect! Who wants a toddler as a girlfriend anyways? Yeah, I know you don’t see her taht way… Not yet. So while you wait for her to get older and leave the nappies behind you could spend a little time with me. Right?
Uhm yeah Jackson, you look almost as hot and sparkly as Edward. Almost. In your dreams. Sorry to say…
Yep Kristen, he’s right. Don’t make your sourpuss face right now. It’s not your fault. It’s just the fact that no one pulls off the Ray Bans like Rob does. Probably some kind of natural talent he has. Together with looking damn hot while smoking (even for me and I’m a total non-smoker). And looking absolutely adorable with his untidy hair and misbuttoned shirts. And just being smokin’ hot no matter what he does. Just saying. So, no one rocks sunglasses like Rob does. Period.
Oh yes, you so got me there. Werewolves all the way! Damn they’re hot. Team Jacob! Team Paul! Well, not that I wouldn’t take some hot vamps as well though…
Off to work one last time before Christmas
Have you already entered our Kwop kilawtley contest? NO? Why not? Did I mention you can win an amazing prize? So hop over and participate NOW! Cause it’s awesome. And funny. Just check it out and you’ll see!
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Posted in 2nd-hand-embarrassment, Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, googling Twi-stuff, Jacob Black, Kristen Stewart, New Moon, Real life, Robert Pattinson, tagged abs, apple, bad guy, Bella Swan, chess, Christmas, Edward Cullen, feathers, Jacob Black, jorts, Kristen Stewart, KStew, lamb, leather, lion, MIA, mullet, New Moon, pawn, queen, Real life, ribbon, Rob Pattinson, robsessed, RPattz, shirtless, Stoli, superhero, supersexy, tulip, Twilight, Twilight cake, Twilight princess, Twilight quote, Twimoms, Twinerd, Twinerd award, werewolf, Zelda on December 19, 2009 |
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What to do if you don’t know what to write about? Simple! Just type in Twilight and any random other word on google images and you’ll be overflowed with awfullness awesomeness. I tried “Twilight cake” and five days before Christmas I think this is the perfect thing to get us into a festive mood. So here’s what I found:
Let’s start with a few examples of “try to cram everything twi-related ever onto one single cake”
Well, all I can say is that sometimes less is more. I mean honestly? An apple, the tulips, the torn ribbon, the chess pattern, a red pawn AND a white queen? Uhm, that’s quite a lot… Just saying. Although the one on the left is still kinda pretty. Well, kinda… I wonder how that tastes, I’ve never eaten a cake that’s black on the outside. Black simply doesn’t look that delicious to me, sorry! Can’t help it…
Okay, so what’s up with this cake? At first I thought those were Edward and Bella. Being a little fat. But take a closer look! The one sitting wears jorts! And a leather string around his ankle. So this is Jacob? Honestly? Shouldn’t he be shirtless and showing us his abs? And I’m not quite sure, but does he still have the long hair? If you add such details as the leather string, shouldn’t you know that this means he is already a werewolf and therefor has short hair? I hope that the other one is really Edward (Well, book-Edward from the color of his hair) and that I didn’t mistake him as well… Cause who knows? If I thought what turned out to be Jacob was Bella at first I shudder to think of who “Edward” really is…
It’s Stella’s 10th birthday and this girl already has a Twilight cake? I bet her (Twi-)mum ordered it as a present for herself. Or has this former 9-year-old girl really read Twilight? If she has, poor girl! Cause she’ll compare every guy available to Edward. For the rest of her life. And then end up all alone… But back to the cake! I mean it’s still pretty nice, but the picture on top? Dear Stella’s mum, you could have chosen any picture in the whole wide world showing Edward and Bella (or Rob and Kristen, cause she’s 9 so she wouldn’t notice the difference as long as they were both dressed up and not Stoli-pub-Rob and black-mullet-KStew) and you went for this one? Why? Kristen looks beautiful in it, yeah. But Rob? This is super-creepo-I’m-on-crack-Rob! With gay hair. And smokey eyes. And wearing lipstick. Showing us his non existant muscles. Couldn’t you have picked a supersexy pic of him so that I could now be swooning over the whole cake? Well, think about it next time! Or just come over and ask me if you need help. Cause I got about 863 uhm a couple of really hot pics of Robward…
Wow, have a closer look to take in all the details here! There’s a different Twilight quote on each level. The “You’re my life now”, the “Superhero / bad guy” and the “lion / lamb” quote? Plus a real red ribbon and a real chess figure. And Edward holding the apple. Standing on a piece of his meadow he brought with him to decorate the top of the cake himself. Plus red painted feathers stuck into the cake? Uhm, now that’s disgusting. Those weren’t feathers but a special kind of tulip (I can’t really remember the proper name) on the New Moon cover. And you shouldn’t have stuck them into the cake…
Wow,this post is already so long and I got so much more awful awesome pictures… Guess I’ll just make a part 2 soon. But of course we don’t want you to think we’re doing nothing but hating on every Twicake possible. In fact I found a few I really liked! Maybe someone could get me one of these for my next birthday (*hint hint hint*). So to cure your eyes a bit enjoy now some of the amazing Twicakes! Yes, they exist!
Off to bake my own Christmas Twicake
PS: Zelda is kind of MIA over the next few days. I hope she didn’t walk out on me after my confessions and comes back on monday as she has said she would. Do you think I should get her this Zelda – The Twilight Princess cake I found while preparing this post?
What do you think about these Twi-cakes? Awesome or awful? Did someone get you one for your birthday? Btw Twinerd award for the first one who comes up with the real name of the New Moon tulip! Leave a comment or e-mail!
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Posted in Bobby Long, Breaking Dawn, Carlisle Cullen, Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, Contests, fashion, Isle Esme, Jackson Rathbone, Jacob Black, Jasper, Kellan Lutz, Kristen Stewart, Marcus Foster, Nikki Reed, Peter Facinelli, plaid, Rachelle Lefevre, Renesmee, Robert Pattinson, Sam Bradley, Taylor Lautner, Tom Sturridge, Twilight, tagged BFF, bikini dance, Bobby Long, Breaking Dawn, Brit-pack, Buckingham Palace, Carlisle, Catherine Hardwicke, Cathy the Cougar, chippendales, Chris Hansen, Chris Weitz, Christmas, Cullen, DILF, double, fictional character, glitter, heart-attack, honeymoon, How To Dazzle, Isle Esme, Jackson Rathbone, Jacob Black, jail, Jasper, Kellan Lutz, Kristen Stewart, KStew, legal in Georgia, Lindsay Lohan, Marcus Foster, Maria, Michael Angarano, mullet, New Moon, Nikki Reed, party girl, Peter Facinelli, PFach, plaid, Prince Harry, Rachelle Lefevre, Ray Bans, Renesmee, Rob Pattinson, RPattz, Sam Bradley, Soul, supersexy, Taylor Lautner, Tom Stu, Tom Sturridge, Twilight, Victoria, VIP-tickets, wish list, Zelda on December 18, 2009 |
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Actually this post was supposed to be about what Zelda and I wanted to get the Twilight cast for Christmas. But then I thought hey, we’re already giving them all our free-time, at least half of our thoughts and we run a whole blog dedicated to them (Okay, and everything else Twi-related but whatever…). So shouldn’t they give us a present for Christmas? Cause I think that would be a really nice way to show us their appreciation of all our endless swooning hard work. Honestly, they didn’t do that much since New Moon came out and sometimes it’s pretty hard to find something to write about everyday. So dear cast members in case you stumble about this post, here’s Zelda’s and my Christmas wish list for you:
Is this Kellans Chippendales revival for Zelda and me??
Kellan: Get out your old Chippendales outfit. You know which one I mean. No? Okay, I’ll just post a picture of it again to stir your memory a bit…
Then round up the other members and make a special supersexy Twilight performance including a lot of glitter all over your body. Oh, and send over two VIP-tickets for Zelda and me, please!
Kristen: You can choose one of the following two. Or just combine them I guess…
a) Start hanging out with Lindsay Lohan and become the new party girl. You could become fake lesbians just like you and Nikki Reed were once. Okay, you might have to dress up in the evenings and that doesn’t fit in that well with all your black mullet and plaid style. But let’s be honest! Only reason why people wear plaid at all is because of Rob…
Find the 10 differences! Can't? Me neither...
b) In case you can’t leave the beloved plaid behind, start hanging out again with the Rob double that used to be your boyfriend. You know who I mean, Michael Angarano. The one who looked just like Rob. And probably stole his clothes and the Ray Bans to be more convincing. In case you can’t remember properly, here’s a picture!
Is this Rob's new BFF?
Rob: Okay, now that we got Kristen out of the way, let’s get to you. Become BFFs with Prince Harry and throw an absolutely fantabulous party at Buckingham Palace. Cause to be honest, even though the Queen might be not amused, Prince Harry knows how to party! You could invite your old Brit-pack friends Tom Stu, Sam Bradley, Marcus Foster and Bobby Long as well. And Zelda and me of course. Just send us over the outfits you’d like us to wear that evening and the two superspecial VIP-tickets with access to your room. We’ll take care of the rest, promise!
Jackson: Okay, this one’s not for me but for Zelda alone. Could you please dress up as Jasper and meet her? And then show her all your awesome moves? Like that Twilight trick with your huge bat -that’s what she said-? But please be careful. I fear she might get a heart-attack…
Uhm, yes we would...
Taylor: Uhm, could you just send us two first class flight tickets to Georgia? And a week in a nice little villa? Or in a hotel suite? With you, of course? And soon please, if you don’t mind! Cause it won’t be half as much fun after february 11th when you finally turn 18 and we don’t have to be afraid of Chris Hansen anymore. Oh how we’re gonna miss all the awesome legal in Georgia jail jokes…
Peter: Make another bet like you did with Rob de Franco, with Chris Weitz this time. Bet to get us How To Dazzle Ladies 5000 readers a day within one week. We know you can do stuff like that. But we don’t want poor Chris Weitz aka everybody’s DILF to have to do a bikini dance. So instead if he loses he has to direct Breaking Dawn. And get Zelda the role of Maria for a hot Maria rewards Jasper scene ifyouknowwhatimsaying. I know Maria has already been casted but hey, they recast Victoria as well although Rachelle did an awesome job… And then cast me as the older version of Renesmee in a Jacob and Renesmee spending their honeymoon on Isle Esme lookout. Chris, we know you can do that. We love you for bringing back our faith after Cathy slaughtered Twilight… Oh, I almost forgot about you, Peter! In the improbable case you should lose, you have to adopt us into the Cullen family. Your Carlisle, the head of the family, so we guess you can decide stuff like that. What? Yeah, we know Carlisle’s only a fictional character. Whatever, we don’t care. Just do it! Thanks!
Off to send our wish list to Santa
Love our wish list? Think the Twicast members should give us presents? What is on your wish list? Anything Twi-related? If you had the chance, what would you wish from Rob, Taylor and the rest? Besides the obvious like spending the night with them of course Tell us about all your Christmas wishes in the comments or send an e-mail!
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