What if Eclipse does NOT dazzle me?

Nope, I still haven’t seen Eclipse yet. But HTD dudette Kiyokamori did. Then she live text messaged me while watching it informing me about stuff like “Leg hitch, be jealous” or “tent scene on NOW”. I was pretty busy being all jealous and excited and stuff. That was before I got her full review though. She rated it four out of ten. FOUR OUT OF TEN? That’s not even 50%! She said the feeling just wasn’t right. I thought about it and I gotta say I kinda agree. If she’s right that is. What if Eclipse is super exciting and well-done and all but I just don’t get the Eclipse feeling that the book gives me? Would I be disappointed? Hell yes! That doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t like the movie. It can still be entertaining, funny, exciting or whatever. But it won’t really be Eclipse.

Screw Skinsuits! Give me my Eclipse feeling!

Let’s face it: I didn’t count it but I guess 80% of our posts refer to the movies only and have nothing whatsoever to do with the books at all. I talked so much about Taylor Lautner’s abs, Kellan’s Calvins and Ashley’s Skinsuits that sometimes I got the feeling I forget why I started it all. When I first read Eclipse it wasn’t really about the fight. Or the Newborns. No! It was kinda retro and romantic and hilarious. My favorite book in the series. We had Edward’s oldfashioned proposal, the leg hitch, the moment when Bella realizes Edward bought a bed just for her, one of my favy parts ever where Alice kidnaps Bella because Edward bribed her with the yellow Porsche… There were TONS of highlights! At least twice as many as in New Moon or Twilight. I don’t want to be prejudiced, but I don’t think they will be able to give me my Eclipse feeling. And it kinda makes me sad. Remember I still haven’t seen the movie, so this is only judging by the clips and trailers and first reviews from Kiyokamori, F_Muse and cdubs. It seems though they made it all about the Newborns, fighting, about Bella being caught between her love for Jacob as well as Edward. Which is WRONG! That is NOT what Eclipse is about! At all! Plus from the moment you read the meadow scene for the very first time EVERYONE KNOWS Bella and Edward will end up together. THERE IS NO CHOICE! Alright alright, maybe I should try to manage my expectations a bit before I completely lose my shit in the cinema. Maybe I should just take the Eclipse movie as what it is (a probably pretty enjoyable movie in a huge franchise) and then go back home to read Eclipse the book to get the RIGHT feeling back again. With all my favorite scenes. Cause I SWEAR, if I could marry the moment where Alice says Edward got her the Porsche, I would! (Name where I got that slightly altered quote from and you win a fake prize!)

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Off to STILL not watch Eclipse

Soul

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What about you? What were your Eclipse expectations? What were the highs and lows? Were any of your favorite scenes missing? Give us your review via comment or e-mail!

(images: Google)

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Is this how you found us?

You know what we haven’t done in a while? A new episode of our little series called finding our blog via google! Since the list I keep for that gets longer and longer I thought it was time to thin it out a bit by sharing some highlights with you!

bella is a dumb bitch for not going for jacob: Uhm, hardcore Team Jacob anyone?

Let's swoon over Taylor's REAL abs before he finally announces he's actually gay...

cgi abs in new moon: Oh, you mean Rob’s airbrushed on abs? Yeah well, we can’t deny that…

are those taylor lautner real abs in new moon: Yep, in contrary to Rob’s airbrush-abs (see above) Taylor hit the gym and consumed a year’s supply of meat patties in only one month in order to gain 30 pounds of pure muscles. Or something like that. You know, the story he tells in every single interview he ever gave since Twilight? That’s what I’m talking about.

how to email robsessedpattinson.com: I don’t know, why don’t you hop over to their site and ask them? Or just click on that pic under which they wrote “click HERE to e-mail us”? Alright? Fine! Glad I could help you! Oh, and tell them thanks from me for always putting up all the newest Rob-pics! Some days I would be lost without them…

bobby long porn: You mean Rob’s friend Bobby Long? The one who once gave his shirt to Rob so we blogged about him? Hm, sorry, I NEVER made Bobby Long porn… If you are looking for let’s say Rob-porn or hot Twi-cast porn, then just click HERE! Or send over your personal Bobby-porn collection so that I can use it in my post next time he is out and about anywhere with Rob.

bobby long fanfiction: Nope, sorry to disappoint you again! After confessing I did NOT make Bobby Long porn I now have to tell you that neither did I write Bobby Long fanfiction where he and Rob get it on backstage after one of Bobby’s concerts because Rob was so turned on by Bobby’s plaid shirt. Sorry!

Do NOT get this for your kid!

9 year old twilight cakes: 9 year old cakes? Uhm, wouldn’t they be rotten and smelly and disgusting after 9 years? Or do you mean you want a Twilight cake for your nine year old kid? In case that’s it, no! Just NO! I mean, no nine year old would really like Twilight. Because she (I HOPE it’s a girl and not a boy we’re talking about here) would simply not “get it”. The only reason a little girl would fall in love with Twilight was if you were one of those crazy Twimoms and MADE her like it. So just get het a princess Arielle cake instead, will you? You know, same story (girl changes who she is for the love of her life and happily ever after) only WAY more appropriate for little girls! WIN!

banana on the beach: Uh yes, we definitely blogged about bananas at the beach! Check out Zelda’s post HERE! Honestly, READ IT! But hey, be warned! It might contain pics of Jackson wearing a Skinsuit… Just saying!

blogs about birth control pills: Well yeah, we DID mention birth control pills quite a lot around here. So smart of you to look that up on the internet before you end up pregnant with a half-human half-vampire demon child on which the only revenge you can take is to name her Renesmee. I wish Bella had been as smart as you! Would have spared me some serious WTF-moments…

And with that I leave you. Sometimes I really wonder what some of those people think when they google all this stuff and then end up HERE…

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Off to finish the next chapter of my Bobby Long fanfic… Just kidding!

Soul

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Are you one of the people who found our blog via Google? What did you type in? Or maybe not Google? How else have you found us? We wanna know! Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Google and Twitter)

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Twi-News aka stuff that is to strange to NOT post

Dear Readers, it’s time for a little news round-up once again now that I’m back home with my lappy where ALL the blogging stuff is saved securely! So please enjoy random Twi-News that might make you laugh your ass off or creep you out or make you want more, you never know. Decide for yourself!

Okay, before we start with the strange stuff, here are two things that made me really really jealous!

Tinsel Korey was at America’s Best Dance Crew

I do gymnastics plus I’m in a dance group plus I did ballet for a whole decade. This means I got a thing for artistic and super cool dance performances. Which results in me being a HUGE fan of America’s Best Dance Crew! So Tinsel, next time please don’t forget to call me so we can go together! Kthxbye.

Howard Shore recorded the Eclipse score and David Slade was there

Howard Shore and Hans Zimmer are my favorite movie score composers OF ALL TIME! They even share the first place cause I can’t decide which one I like better. Just in case you’re not a score pro: Hans Zimmer did Pirates of the Caribbean (I KNOW you all know that!) and Howard Shore did Lord of the Rings. Which was the ONLY fantasy book adaption that did NOT disappoint me btw. Just saying. (Hear that Harry Potter people? Yes, I was MAJORLY disappointed by the movies!). So I’m pretty much in love with their work and the fact that the super awesome genius HOWARD SHORE is doing the Eclipse score is BRILLIANT! Cause at least THAT part of the movie will totally RULE! No matter how bad they might screw up the rest I can assure you if it gets too bad just close your eyes in the cinema and listen to the music and everything will be right!

Okay, now the other stuff…

We got a sneak preview of the 100 Monkeys Swimsuit calendar

And unlike Zelda hoped he would it, Jackson is NOT wearing a skinsuit. But I bet Ashley Greene showed him all her sexy beach poses. Cause from these pics you can definitely tell he only learned from the best…

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Kristen and Kellan showed up at the Coachella festival

Before I accidently start any rumours here, I did not say that they showed up TOGETHER. In case you don’t live in the US you might not know what Coachella is. So let me explain! It’s a huge music festival where lots of celebrities show up and there are different parties all around going on. Like Woodstock only much cooler and less hippie. So Kristen was spotted with her brother at the Lacoste pool party there looking all GANGSTA. Hey, don’t mess with La Stew cause she’s ghetto badass like that!

Also I hope she picked some really really awful awesome Lacoste stuff to bring home for Rob! Like THIS!

And Kellan was spotted wearing a shirt of absolute AWESOMENESS! Aka his Playboy shirt. No joke! I can SO imagine him buying that one… But hey, it kinda fits him WELL!

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Jamie Campbell Bower did a photoshoot showing us A LOT

No joke! And I’m not talking about his “Zoe” tattoo. Yay for wearing your ex-girlfriends name on your chest. But before you start worrying about how this makes his new girlfriend feel, he recently went to a tattoo studio to get something to cover that one up. So let’s how he didn’t get a Twilight inspired tatt just to distract his gf from Zoe… But what I meant with A LOT is that his butt is hanging out of his pants. On purpose of course. But I do NOT think that this makes the pic sexier. In fact it’s the contrary… Well, see for yourself and decide how naked you really wanna see the one who plays Caius aka the Malfoy vampire!

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Does anyone else think that last pic looks a little gay? And just in case you’ve been wondering… yes, that tatt on his buttock DOES say “Bob Dylan”…

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Bryce Dallas Howard and her real-life Riley

I KNOW this is not really news-worthy BUT I found this pic under that exact headline. Her “real-life Riley”. And OF COURSE I was like “What? Bryce has a young hot toy-boy which she betrays but with which she also has super hot sex?” Then I read the article and it made me go like “Oh.. no… it’s just her husband…” Gah, honestly, who came up with that headline when in fact she’s just having lunch with her hubby? And I thought something interesting was going on…

Alright, so now you got all the most important Twi-News straight from your personal super hilarious / hot / awesome / add any other positive adjectives newscaster Soul!

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Off to look if Jamie’s pics are already up on all the gay sites (I bet they are!)

Soul

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So do feel informed now? Which pics are your favorites? What about Jamie’s photoshoot? And can we please talk about how fantastic it is that HOWARD SHORE did the Eclipse score? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: Twitter and Twifans)

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We forgot Kellan’s birthday and now he is BOTHERED

Before you start reading this post, make sure that you are familiar with Jimmy Fallon’s fantabulous “Robert is bothered” series! Otherwise this post won’t work!

Hi, I’m Kellan Lutz. Sometimes when I’m bothered I climb up here in my tree. Photoshoots bother me. Being half-naked bothers me. Wearing nothing but briefs for that Calvin Klein photoshoot bothered me. Have you seen what they did? They put a red X right over me. Red Xs are stupid! Other people being half-naked bother me. Skinsuits bother me. Ashley claiming to wear a Skinsuit while she’s actually completely naked bothers me! What kind of swimsuits are they? They are orange and pink bodypaint and look like dragon scales and if you stay in the water long enough they wash off. Newsflash: Skinsuits are stupid! I mean, have you seen those pics? Here, take a look again! Everyone could see her lady parts. And if it wasn’t for that tree branch right there… (Soul-note: Just in case you forgot which pictures he is talking about, check them out HERE again. Oh, and don’t forget to have a close look at the special magic branch pic he refers to HERE!)

Ashley’s box bothers me! Sorry to say! Check yourself at the door, okay? You know what’s even worse than skinsuits and standing there wearing nothing but briefs with a sock stuffed in there? Unorganized people! People who aren’t able to look at their calendar bother me! People who forget my birthday bother me! What, you forgot my birthday as well?

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Get out of my tree and GET LOST!

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Soul Kellan

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So this was our first ever edition of “Kellan is bothered”. And we’re really really sorry we forgot about his 25th birthday yesterday. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KELLAN! How did you like it? And what else could bother Kellan? Leave a comment or e-mail us!

(images: google)

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The Ashley Greene Evolution in pictures

After I posted the link to the Michael Sheen / Ashley Greene interview yesterday I had a closer look at it myself again. That’s when I saw the photos I had unsuccessfully tried to forget about. So now I feel like I finally got to say it out loud. Ashley Greene, what happened to you?

There was a time when I could look at pictures of you for hours thinking all the time “Oh how I wish this was me. How I wish I would look like that…”. Those super classy subtly sexy photoshoots you did, awesome. But what happened then? I don’t know. You tried to cover up the fact that you were in fact naked in during the SoBe photoshoot by talking about Skinsuits. We mentioned that we wondered where the hell your nipples had gone though and tadah, there they are again next to Michael Sheen’s interview with you. I try to avoid the word slutty here but those Interview Magazine pics really kinda remind me of a Dom themed Playboy photoshoot.

Plus Kellan and Ryan Seacrest talking about being “in Ashley’s box” all the time? Seemed like they knew what they were talking about… Then the Marie Claire pics. To be honest, some of them screamed “I’m just another prostitute waiting for my next client to come up”… Sorry to say!

And of course we got the fatal naked mobile shoot you did yourself. I could never understand how girls take pics like that and think they will not leak sooner or later but rather sooner on the internet. I have no idea who is the guy that you sent those to and it doesn’t really matter. I’m not posting the “real” naked ones here. Cause I kinda like you too much for that. And cause I would feel kinda 2nd-hand-embarrassed. Just let me say that there indeed IS a full frontal complete nudity snapshot. Of which I hope no one will ever find it on my harddrive along with all those other pics of you I keep for blog purposes. Honestly Ashley, looking at all those pics you did lately makes me sure your sex-tape is going to leak before Rob’s does. Maybe even as soon as… let’s say… february 11th when you show Taylor how it’s done (that’s what she said). I don’t hope so though. Or at least give us Rob’s first so that we got something to distract us… So let’s make a deal! I will not mention those slutty photos of you ever again and you will start to become a little more classy and SUBTLY sexy again. Like in that great photoshoot you did with Rachelle (Oh how I miss her!).

Really, I love those pics of the two of you! It’s the kind that makes you either wanna go (fake-)lesbian or be BFFs. I choose the BFFs, okay? Deal? K, great! Done!

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Off to hang out with my new BFFs

Saveyoursoul

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So what do you think about the Ashley-evolution? Like the new hardcore sexy pics? Like the old ones better? Taken aback that there indeed is a full frontal nudity snapshot where you can see EVERYTHING that leaked on the internet? What are your favorite Ashley pics ever? Tell us in the comments or via e-mail! Oh and participate in our RAZZIE CONTEST!!!

(images: google)

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Oh Michael Sheen, how could I forget about you?

How could this happen? It’s more than two months ago now that I first saw New Moon. And we wrote several posts about the movie. And I looked them all through again yesterday. And realized I haven’t written one single word about how much I like Michael Sheen as Aro in one of them. So obviously I suck at blogging. Well, sometimes… So I’ll say it right here and right now:

I LOVE MICHAEL SHEEN AS ARO IN NEW MOON!

All capitals, that’s right! Plus he created the “Aro-style of talking”. Awesome! Since I found out today is actually Michael Sheen’s birthday (what a coincidence, haha) this post is for him! I planned to post the interview he did with Ashley Greene a little while ago before I remembered that great video of him at Craig Ferguson’s show. Watch it now. Honestly, do! It’s so damn hilarious…

So cool when Craig starts talking Aro-style at the beginning. Plus I just decided I will SO make the “Haha, I’m Captain Hook” thing an insider joke here on the blog. Cause it rules! Did anyone know Michael is that funny? Why isn’t he at shows more often? Oh, but back to the interview I talked about earlier. I have no idea why it was HIM who interviewed Ashley Greene but it turned out great. So maybe you should read it even though I did not include it in this post… just hop over HERE for a few more Micheal Sheen laughs. Yep, I’m lazy and simply inserted a link. But to make up for it I totally photoshopped a super sexy fantabulous birthday card that would fit in perfectly with the interview. And since we’re almost at the end of the post and I haven’t said it out loud yet and because I forget to say the most important thing about Michael AGAIN and then get depressed cause I fail-blogged AGAIN, here we go:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL SHEEN! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!

Oh, and have a look at the card I made for you including Ashley and a Skinsuit

Ashley Greene and the HTD-Ladies wish you a Happy Birthday!

And since I’ve run out of things to say…

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Haha, I’m Captain Hook!

Saveyoursoul

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So what do you think about Michael Sheen? Love him as Aro? (I do!) Wanna wish him a happy birthday? Want me to make such a fantabulous card for you as well? Whatever it is, share in the comments or send us an e-mail!

(video: YouTube; image: Google, modified by me )

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The Alex Meraz appreciation top ten list

Yesterday we swooned over Ashley Greene, today it’s one of the Twicast’s guys again. As it is Alex Meraz’s birthday I thought it would be great to dedicate him this post and put together all the things we appreciate about him.

Happy birthday Alex!

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Stuff we appreciate about Alex Meraz:

1. That he look like THIS in New Moon… and doesn’t wear a shirt:

2. That he takes a special photo just for us to tell us that he’s the REAL Alex Meraz on Twitter

3. That he tweets stuff like THIS and still makes us think “I bet even now you look a million times hotter than the guy next to me”:

4. That he makes fun of himself and even bothers to tell us that he bought a new kick-ass shirt and made the cashier laugh

5. That there are enough smokin’ hot pics of him out there to cure our eyes after we (accidently) looked at THIS:

6. That if you search hard enough you can find THOSE pics of him which make you feel either like a completely insane stalker or make you pretend you just got up and saw the following happen in your kitchen:

7. That he has an absolutely beautiful wife and a probably super sweet child but basically doesn’t talk about it at all so that we still got the feeling we could have him…

8. That he obviously stole Taylor’s Jacob-shirt on the New Moon set and let’s us know that it fits him WELL

9. That most of the time he looks like THIS so that we can make fantabulous Twiporn (sorry I wrote across the abs…):

10. That he gives answers like THAT when someone asks him what he would like to have for Christmas from Santa:

So that’s it. The Alex Meraz appreciation top ten list. Hope you liked it. And oh, hey Alex, I almost forgot to tell you: Check your mailbox! Cause in there is your present. You know, those super hot pics of me. Wearing a “Skinsuit”. Guess my invitation to your party got lost but hey, don’t worry! I’m absolutely NOT pissed or something… Stuff like that can happen. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to be there nevertheless

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Off to dress up for Alex’s birthday party (Do you think I should show up in a wolf-shirt?)

Saveyoursoul

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Did I miss anything? What do you appreciate about Alex Meraz? Did you make a special Alex Twiporn for his birthday? Wanna wish him a wonderful day and that someone thought of getting him a Team Paul cake? Whatever it is, tell us in the comments or via e-mail! And for even more good times follow us on Twitter!

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Ashley Greene and the so-called “Skinsuits”…

Yesterday while writing the post about Taylor Lautner and his new face something strange came to my mind: We only ever write about the Twicast guys and never about the girls. Why is that? Okay, sometimes we mention KStew, but most of the time that’s to make fun of her if we’re being honest… or to swoon over her shoes. Then I saw Ashley Greene’s Sports Illustrated photoshoot. You know, the one for the swimsuit edition in february. And so to increase the number of posts about the Twigirls, I dedicate this post to Ashley Greene! Cause let’s be honest, those pics are HOT! Girlcrush-worthy. I love most of the pics. The SoBe “Skinsuit” shoot. So has anyone ever hard the word “Skinsuit” before? I haven’t. Nevertheless it took me less than one minute to know what was going on and I was pretty startled to see how long it took most people to realize what was going on. Cause Ashley’s not wearing a swimsuit at all here. Well, at least not technically. So those are basically pics of her being naked. Yep, bodypaint does not count as clothes where I come from. So be honest, who of you realized it before Jimmy Fallon said it in his show? Cause those “Skinsuits” DO look awesome! Heard it took twelve hours to paint them on. Wonder how awkward this must be, having someone to paint a absolutely amazing but nevertheless fake swimsuit on you for twelve hours… Well, nevermind.

So to swoon over one of the Twigirls for the first time on HTD, enjoy the Ashley Greene naked aka wearing a “Skinsuit” for Sports Illustrated pics!

So are these hot or are these hot? Who’s having a girlcrush on Ashley now? Cause I am… And that’s not even half of the photos… Wanna hear Zelda and me chatting it up? Cause we will! Well, Zelda doesn’t know about it yet until she reads this post but I bet she’s dying to do so. Otherwise I guess I’ll just have to force her to. Which I will… Sorry girl!

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Off to kidnap Zelda

Saveyoursoul

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Do you find those pics as hot as I think they are? When did you realize “Skinsuit” is just another word for “painted on”? Clever people inventing this new word to hide the fact that Ashley is basically naked… Share your thoughts via comment or e-mail! Oh, and are you following us on Twitter?

(images: AshleyGreene.net)

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